Re-Inventing English…A Promising Start To Containing This Act of Immense Terrorism


Sighs!!! What is happening In this country, Nigeria? From real bomb blasts to letter and phone bombs that will keep you rolling on the floor, alive though, but laughing your guts out. Or in some cases, shedding real tears!!!

As it turns out, popular communication platforms like Twitter and FB are experiencing a kind of reform in lingual usage with regards to the English language. People from different parts of the country, sign up to these social networks and showcase their creative talents, somewhat misleading, yeah, but innovative still.

In an attempt to shorten words, some of such words have been changed completely, and their meanings destroyed too! We are all guilty as charged of this initial offense. Although, more importantly, some opt to change the words entirely, giving a different meaning to the sentence in a whole, while others decide just tampering with the spelling is the best way to go about it. Whichever way, I believe this is a great step towards a better Nigeria. At least now, the world knows what our real problem is, and also how thoughtful and hard working we can be in finding simpler ways to work our way around really hard languages like the english language.

First there was pidgin, now there is Tiaun/Gbagaun/shelling/Typo(LOL)… Also, with regards to how good it is that the people involved are speaking up about how they feel the english language should be, I’m sure the government should have social workers on these social platforms and I hope they are compiling statistics and data on the location of these public offenders; And by so doing, send help to such places too.

The Nigerian community will love to use this opportunity to apologize to the owners of the English language, as such an offense could have been punishable by death if we were still In the earlier ages and centuries, or cause a friction in the relations of both our countries.

As unfortunate as this situation is, the scientists involved range from graduates and professors, to illiterate celebrities and highly placed government officials(pretend I didn’t just say this). The country as a whole have representatives of such perpetrators in each state, in each social class, and as a matter of fact, the normal people that speak the language as its supposed to be, are more of mad men, and beggars on the streets. So maybe, its more money, more fame–» More Tiaun… Hehe…

Something has to be done about this, although I expect the executive president to give a speech regarding it this night; not that it will help anything, since we all know he shares the same room with the chief researcher of the English Re-inventors group… Lol!! I might get arrested and sent to prison for saying this, but what has to be said, well, has to be said.

This is one of the pressing issues in the country, and why I don’t understand the reason the government thinks removing fuel subsidy will help the situation. Infact, it has even given people more reason to “commit”. Well then, let’s all blame it on the subsidy removal or on the ban/abi life imprisonment of gay people– yes oh, 14 years or even 10 years is someone’s whole life. However, we must evict this impending evil, that is growing roots deep into this country’s system, before it gets nasty and we lose investors and investments. Or probably be bounced from the commonwealth… Lmao!!! Help keep watch… Listen to what your neighbor’s saying to you and correct him/her if you can. If not, calmly refer to the english dictionary or you can ask Me @vicsterzz, I’d help you check it up!!! Spread the word… Serious war against Gbagaun(SWAG); the battle has just begun… Don’t get caught, you’ll be seriously embarrassed and laughed at. And please make your typos less noticeable. God bless Nigeria. I always knew we had it in us, the gift to invent and re-invent; but, this is just wrong… And I believe that in English speaking countries, and I mean the real ones, this will regarded as an act of terrorism and belittling of their national heritage!!! BE WARNED!!! If the problem is that you didn’t go to school, or you didn’t go to a good school, or you went to school too much, I believe such instances can be worked on… And if you are one of those people that use “big english” words that do not even exist to cover your lingual misconceptions, be careful, change your ways soon, and very soon. You seriously can’t afford to get caught!!! Hope you had fun reading this!!!?? Also, I’d love to refer you to this page on FB– Ibrahim Yussuf mungadi, one of the top researchers in this project. If you aint satisfied, beep Me for more links or screen grabs and munches, as the case may be. Anyhow, sha sha, (hehe), just join the campaign– S.W.A.G… Help save our country.

PS: if english somehow turns out to be a problem for you, drop it, patronise our native Pidgin. We invented it, so, let’s appreciate it. If you don’t know how to speak pidgin and yet can’t speak good english, well, am sorry, I could have suggested you go stab yourself or start forming dumb, but that’d be too lenient. So, uhmm… Go and swim in kainji dam, jump out and hug a power station while you are at it. If eventually, you know you can’tspeak either of both– nwanne, speak your native language. Type it on twitter, facebook, nothing do you, at least that’s what arabs do, and they are still communicating. Nobody’s going to ban you… Rep your country well abeg.

Your humble Boy– @vicsterzz… Follow me on twitter– I follow back… Remember, In times like this, there’s nothing wrong with putting on a smile. The federal government will not kill us, even if they wanted to, neither will Boko, and we will not kill ourselves either, IJN… #Okbye

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