To start with, I must confess that I had wrestled with these boiling issues in my heart for months but was a bit apprehensive in publishing .My reluctance was because I don’t want to come across as being judgmental, a know-it-all but if after absorbing my write up you feel judged or put down I will appreciate if you will excuse my unskilled delivery and realize that is not my true intents. This is just borne out my inability to see and not say or maybe it is out of a throbbing that could neither seal my lips nor hold my hands back from my mouse.
Having mentioned that, I felt ordained as a young African lady to delve into some vital issues that my society still term untouchables and had hurt, is hurting and probably will hurt countless of females. From my mom to my aunts, my sisters to my cousins and my girlfriends about some of the misconceptions rooted in us that had created the opportunity for the male gender to exploit us as we play prey and many of us fail to get a grip of ourselves.
Before I proceed, I do want to make clarifications that I am not an anti-men activist and that most of the issues I will be talking about are not all their making. Honestly I love guys, I am a daddy’s girl, I value the importance of men, I will even share a secret with you about how much I fantasize their touch, their strength, wide arms that can help reach above my shelves and fix broken faucets, love to rub hands on clean shave and caress packed abs. So shout out to all my bros out there. And if at the end you feel that I have overstepped my boundaries please do not hesitate to express your disdain for my untamed impetus.
As a lady, we exist in the world that do not give us a chance but only to do house chores, the chance to dream big, achieve high goals without telling us ‘’I think you don forget say you be girl…..’’, to be who we really are and what we really want to become without stringent rules or an expectation to pay the toll with our endowed assets. From the day we were conceived, we were unconsciously groomed from kindergarten to be an accessory to a man’s life. At childhood, we loudly talk about growing up, wanting to become pilots, executives of world conglomerate, country’s presidents only to be interrupted by voices within and without telling us those are positions possibly attained by men.They tell you just grow up, be a good wife, take care of the kids, even some of us were made to forcefully drop out of schools, telling us girls don’t need to know too much books to rear kids and the lucky ones amongst probably exchange our lawyer dreams to becoming teachers so as to get home by 3.00pm to cook meals.
I have to pause and say I love teaching; I love my teachers who made it possible for me to be able to write to you. I will say it is the most gracious and destiny molding profession in the world, it was only used in this context to emphasis my point and not to ridicule and I love to have a family also someday, but we as girls, ladies, women are constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested our values are tied upon a man finding us worthy to be his, instead of making us aware of who we really are by the virtue of our own divine unique existence.
Our worth as a woman is often labeled into being a wife and our abilities to bear kids and even in my culture and the part of world I come from, it is appalling that we are sometimes even prescribed to what gender is desired and if we do not bear the right choice, we are considered responsible for the outcome if per chance we failed in one of these area, as a wife and a gender breeder.
Regrettably, we along the way, may have lived or still living out this false notion of who we are really meant to be or from which aspect we are truly successful or not. Bad dates and heart wrenching relationships continually notarized the lies that we are nothing without a man. Our ears not only hurt by the mental echoes from childhood but we are also in pain of our own self inflicted injuries as we constantly struggle to live out the lies, sincerely trying to fulfill the so called destiny stating that a woman is to be someone’s woman.
In this light, making this only as my footnote, I have the urge to discuss and share some of the huge struggles myself, my friends and the women society at large face and which or could also have extreme impact in our lives and relationships because of this long century lived false notion.
TO BE CONTINUED
Photo Credit: http://www.123rf.com/photo_8436728_smiling-black-woman-in-modern-kitchen-interior.html