Ashewo Dancing

 she is working him out
she is working him out

For those of you that don’t know the meaning of ashewo. Ashewo simply means a prostitute/whore, sometimes it doesn’t literary mean that the person is a whore. Most times it means that the person isn’t discreet with the way he or she expresses her sexuality, even though he or she might not be sleeping around.

Well let me go straight to the point it seems like our generation (The Hip Hop generation) have a different approach to partying and dancing. I remember going to the club with my boy for the first time. We had all the girls dancing on us and we felt like we were the man. On our way home we talked about our experience at the club. I guess watching Jerry Springer it was easy for us to conclude that this was simply the American lifestyle.

I come from Nigeria, where it’s a big deal to smooche a babe or even, fondle with a babe, if you succeeded in doing so, your boys would be proud of you. At parties, we danced with other teenage girls face to face or side by side, with little or no contact at all. I remember back in the days when my boys and I used to watch music videos to learn new dance moves.

These days I walk into the club or a party, sometimes I am just trying to get by a girl and as soon as there is a little body contact, sometimes she starts rubbing her behind on my crotch. For the most part, guys just go from behind and the guy might dance for 15mins with this sexy lady and she still doesn’t know what the guy looks like. As the years went by my boys and I got tired of the young crowd so we decided venture into clubs with a more matured clientele. When we got to this very club, we noticed that the club stationed a bouncer to assist the ladies come up the club pavement and another bouncer at the door to collect their Jackets. When we got in we scouted around for some fine babes to see what this club had to offer. Most people were dancing face to face, not bumping and grinding. Other clubs for grown folk have pretty much the same vibe. We also started attending African parties maybe to get closer to our people or to get a feel of home.

African parties are great, good music and our parties end late, even though the clubs are usually musty and hot, anyway lets not go there. The African partying was no different from the American bumping and grinding clubs, maybe only a few girls would not dance with you because the don’t know you, or they are on their I have a man P, which is also common in American clubs. So I concluded that our generation put an end to dancing face to face without invading personal space. Thanks to the ladies for making dancing easy for the men.

I am not against bumping or grinding, because that would make me a hypocrite but I know for sure that my unborn daughters wouldn’t be going to parties or clubs if bumping and grinding, bumper to bumper is the only form of dancing.


  1. Totally feel you, like someone people be on that straight up indecent tip.

    But guys sef, you guys be on some unneccesary grinding tip. Like seriously, who grinds to songs like 'Return of the mack', or old school songs. Some men do not know how to dance, na so so grind grind. Abeg no blame the ladies o jare, y'all are just as guilty.

    • Original Mgbeke…r u kidding me? Folks are even grinding to "Osadebe" & "Oliver de Coque" and you are talking about "Return of The Mack", that's straight up "Tip Drill" when it comes to grinding! I don't think there's anything wrong with it but I'm tired of loosing shirt buttons to these females the mistake grinding for scrubing, coz they lean in on you like they abt to scrub your "Bermuda Triangle" and @ d end of the night, I wld hv lost 2-3 buttons on my shirt!

      • Cheif Sanka, Please stop wearing botton down shirts if you are going clubing.. wear v neck shirts i am sure you will be fine.. I love a lady that knows how to grind to the rhythm of the song… that makes me want to marry her.. I love grinders

      • Bwahahahahaha. Tales by moonlight! Dem send you? As ol' girl dey grind on top ya shirt button, why you no turn am to face you. Akuko!

        You men are just as guilty, don't be acting like the ladies are just out to grind.

        And abeg which kain aba made shirt wey the buttons just dey fly away anyhow.

        • Original Mgbeke…why I go turn am to face me, we wan kiss abi we wan fight? We not acting like only the girls grind…heck, I love grinding but biko y'all shld stop wearing those spiked belts & underwears that steal buttons in da club and mellow down on the ass vibration!

  2. Good one but how come you won't let ur daughter go to the club & have fun like others. Remember you did it so she deserve to taste what live is all about my brother

  3. Let's not forget the population of ppl that don't grind.LOL….but seriously this is funny. To me grinders look über silly to me.

  4. I find your article to be extremely hypocritical. I have a few questions?

    1) Why did you begin the article discussing "ashewo". Is that label you're giving YOURSELF and others that bump and grind??

    2)Why is it okay for men like yourself (or your unborn sons)to bump and grind, but you would not want this for your unborn daughters?

    I find it just as problematic for the man that will just walk up to a woman from behind and begin dancing with her w/out asking as I do the woman that accepts this. The lack of respect is evident on BOTH sides.

    I agree with you that people no longer dance but having dry sex in both African and American clubs. Hey, if that works for that's fine but I'm over it.

    • Read this lines from the Article
      "Sometimes it doesn’t literary mean that the person is a whore. Most times it means that the person isn’t discreet with the way he or she expresses her sexuality, even though he or she might not be sleeping around."
      To answer your first question yes to both parties that participates in ashewo dancing. it takes two to tangle. I am not here acting as our generations moral guide nor passing judgment on anyone’s choice or pattern/form/style of dancing. I am just stating a mere observation of today’s way of dancing. I am sure pretty some men and women derive joy from Bumping and Grinding.

      To answer your second question, I never said it was ok for any of my unborn Kids to Bump and Grind. I really don’t know where you are getting your assumption from. I am sure that most fathers’ wouldn’t want their daughters to bump and grind with anybody but their husbands. I am sure mothers would prefer for their son not to bump and grind. Better yet I am sure that if some of our parents knew what goes on in todays clubs they would rather have us not go clubbing. I rather my unborn kids stay in church and libraries rather than clubs.

      Thanks for the constructive analysis.

  5. You've said what many young men think but dont have the courage to say publicly. I think this type of dancing degrades people in lots of ways. The face of many men while being grinded upon seems like- "Yea I own this" and the girl is over there hurting her thighs and lowering herself to a dude that wont let his sister or daughter do the same on another dude. Is it fun??- most say yeah.. But is it also degrading -Absolutely…. If someone won't let the one he loves do it then obviously he doesnt give a rat ass about you and your moves…. What ever happened to the mystery of a woman's delicate, tender and soft body??? Where a man had to invest time, money, resources, a ring on the finger maybe, etc to get all that…. The old saying-Why buy the cow if i can get the milk for free works perfectly here and its sad.. Men— We ought to respect God's gift to us and Ladies:- "They cannot take away our self–respect if we do not give it to them." – Gandhi

    We Need to Wise up!!!!

  6. Hmm…

    "Ashewo dancing"… yet in most cases, its we men who navigate our penis to the woman's rectum area. There is something wrong with that title my friend.

    Oh and by the way, the kinda bump-n-grind we have going on now, is not an American party scene creation. Its an Afro-Caribbean thingy. lets do some research.

  7. The Double Prince bumps n grinds,will not be hypocritical but will not let his unborn daughters do same.Let me ask you,how about your unborn sons and don't you think you will reap what you sow?

  8. There is nothing wrong with long as you grind in a PG-13 way:)

    And guys if you know you are going to dance in a club..please endeavor to wear some tight underwear…its very disgusting to be dancing and be feeling one kain thing swinging away.

  9. I actually love the bumping and grinding,but please do not let the iroko disturb the lady,it's quite uncomfortable

  10. Lets just be realistic…'s really upsetting when we wanna dance with a guy , they start protruding their waist like clubbibg and dancing will not be complete if they dont rub against a chic's behing or something….But truth be told…it will not stop….there are alot of horny, restless pple out there who just wont quit….

  11. I think a lady rubbing her *ss on a man's genitals is NOT appropriate. Every now & then back to front dancing is fine, but rubbing in sexual manner–which is what is prevalent– is NOT appropriate.

  12. grinding on ur boyfriend i think is ok or sum dude ur knw personally n r interested in ; of course this will send a desired message…… aside from dat random grinding aint d P mehn …..

  13. please i support everyone that said that there's nothing wrong with bumpin and gridin. but ummm i also support you that my future female kids better not come back into my house after bumpin n grindin on some horny dude.see…am so not biased…

    • just don't let ur kids ever find out that you used to drop it like nobody's biz back in ur day…cuz they WILL condemn u. lol.

      • it won't be very easy for my kids to findout if i bumped n grinded or not and even if they did, i would always use the words my dad used on me to deter me from doing the crazy things he did in his past…. "if i put my hand in fire, does that mean that you do the same?"

  14. bump and grind…aint heard that since r.kelly back in the day. lol. any who, i'll admit i dance kinda…provacatively, at the club with guys. but hey, it can't be no worse than dancing side by side. i've seen some chicks do some dances all by themselves that have dudes drooling out the side of their mouths. that aint no better than dancing on a guy. either way, its gonna get the same effect/response.

  15. When a chick did to me bak in medskool parry I won craze, I was a serious novice na me dey karry ma iroko run sef lol!!!

  16. Let just hope the up and coming generation dont dance worse, cuz it seems like dancing has evolved and will continue to.

  17. …hmmm…………….its pretty interesting how we all have different views on stuff like this……….
    i kinda lean towards the authors side though- i pretty much agree with him…………

    i've been to parties where its been crazy & all the time i would try to be on my own & avoid the excessive body to body, however there was one time when i went al out with the dancing cause i was drawn into believing it was "just dancing", but really guys, its not……………i didnt feel to great as i lay in bed later that night because i didnt know what to think of myself………

    some of the grinding is tooooo much (its basically sex with clothes on) & once a guy has u there i dont think he needs u in his bedroom…………i also thought of it thatt all that dancing would not even tell well of me……..i love to be respected & i wanna earn it – to me, i'll earn that by keeping myself away 4rm stuff that carry that "cheap,easyy, thirstyyy girl" message…………..

    P.S.,,…..ladies, just cause he wants it does not mean he should get it…………he will respect u 4 that……..


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