Why Lie About Your Virginity?


At the end of this post, I would be grateful if you gave me your opinion as to what to do?

Back in Nigeria, I attended a western state university but left in my final year due to the never-ending and annoying strikes. But before I left, in my first year ( 17 years old),  I met this girl who i became best friends with. She was nice, beautiful and smart. But she had a major  love for lying. Don’t we all? Well, I do lie but not anywhere close to my friend’s. She lies about food, okada, rat, Obama, grades, Foreign trips, airplane, pastor, everything ,you name it. But lying about her virginity was what destroyed our relationship.

Back to the main story, after we became good friends, we both discovered we were virgins and we promised each other to keep our virginity until we got married. We became backbones and mentored each other about the joy of keeping our virginities. Time went by and in my 300Level I did it, yes, I did it. I had sex with my boyfriend of 3 years. I felt remorseful about it. I cried profusely for breaking God’s promise and my promise to my best friend. I summed up courage and went to tell my friend that our deal was broken. My friend was mad at me and did not talk to me for a month. Finally, we got back together and she would occasionally make fun of me and tell me how much she loves being a virgin unlike some people. My friend would tell anyone who cares to listen that she is a virgin. She boasted about it to all and sundry. I wondered why she had to announce it to the world. Who cares. I once told her ” Aint no point announcing ur sexual status, no one cares if you are or not, its not our business.”

One day, she told me she wanted to break up her 3-year old relationship because her guy kept forcing her to have sex and she thinks the best thing is to break up with him. I tried to persuade her to keep the relationship and talk things over  with the guy but she was adamant on leaving the relationship. Few days later, her boyfriend (Kunle) walked up to me and was crying, he asked me to beg my friend not to leave him. I told him I would, only if he promises  not to force my friend to have sex. Kunle gave me this funny look and said the reason they are breaking up is because my friend said he was not satisfying her sexually enough and she found another guy to satisfy her.

I was shocked, I tried to convince Kunle that my friend was a virgin so that was not possible. Kunle told me that my friend had been having sex since her high school days and they both had sex for 3 years. I was shocked, I could not believe it. My best friend lied to me all this years? I decided not to tell my friend hoping she would tell me, but she did not. 3 months went by, she said nothing. One day, she started bragging to me about her being a virgin and i just watched with my mouth agape. I decided to let her know that I knew the truth. She begged me not to tell anyone and blamed it on the devil. That ended my relationship with her.

Recently, my cousin here in ATL told me he found a girl he wants to marry back home and one of the reasons he loves her is because she is a virgin, he thinks finding a virgin in this age is the most difficult thing so he happy he has a virgin girlfriend.  At least, that is what she told him. My cousin loves and trusts her so much and you always see him blushing . I recently saw the girl’s picture and guess who it is ? My ex best friend. Yes, it’s her. I cannot believe she is still lying about her virginity after 2 years.  That is so childish of her. So do I tell my cousin or let him figure it out himself ?


  1. R u serzly contemplating dis…. There's no need to ask 4 suggestions. u beta pick up d fone and tell ur cuzin wot a lying scumbag he is dating….. serzly in this day nd age sum1 shud still b lying abt virginity.. Dont u think when ur cuzin finds out dat she isnt a virgin it wont end their relationship???? Save him d heartache now nd let him move on quickly….

  2. wow!!!…..mouth wide open….some girls sha!
    well tell your cousin…coz him finding out himself might be too late!

  3. Its a dicey situation really,but this isn’t new cos ladies lie that way all the time.I keep wonderin why so much importance is attached to virginity.ok….the bible says so….yes but it doesn’t guaranty a lasting relationship and it hasn’t stopped any guy from cheating on his” VIRGIN” bride.I don’t think you should be the one to break the bad news which will likely end the r/ship.instead speak to your friend,ask her to tell your cousin the truth and threaten to do it yourself if she doesn’t.but your cousin should realise that there are many other things to look out for in a woman.

  4. u beta tell ur coursin if u wish him well, before the unthinkable happens, he shouldnt loose wat he cannot tie so u beta let him know waguan…..

  5. Oh wow! Scandalous. Let him know! He should come read this . What’s wrong with that so called “I am a VIRGIN girl”?? She needs to stop lying about the all issue of being a Virgin or not

  6. Thanks a bunch guys. I will call her up and let her be the one to tell him. And if she don't tell him, i will tell my cousin. But does'nt that make me a "relationship destroyer" ? Am so scared of being given that title oo. And sometimes, you do someone a favor and u end up being tagged the "bad person" I don't want wahala oo but i guess i have to do it .Have a wonderful day y'all.

    • I agree with ur decision. I don't think u should worry about what anyone calls you cus ur doing the right thing cus the girl is lying and if you keep silent about the truth that's indirectly lying too.

    • Your cousin should know the truth. But on the other hand, isn't it foolish of him to pride himself on having a "virgin" girlfriend? Your "friend" knew the type of person he was and capitalized on it. I'm not justifying her actions, but generally before people treat you a certain way, its because they have studied you and they know the type of pranks they can make you fall for. In your cousin's case , it was his inability to distinguish a girl from her hymen. That was his Achilles heel, so to speak. Also, is your cousin a virgin? If he is, fair enough. But if he isn't , then I'm truly sorry to say this but he deserves what's coming to him. Next time he will learn that there are women who are more worthy than your friend who may or may not be virgins.
      As far as your concern about being a relationship destroyer, you don't need to worry about that. You are doing the right thing and even if your cousin hates you for telling him the truth, you will have done your possible best. If he ever opens his mouth to say any rubbish about you being a liar and wanting to sabotage his relationship, fine. From then on, just keep quiet but NEVER EVER tell him anything you hear about your "friend" again. You cannot know a person's reaction about a certain type of news until you actually tell them that which they need to know. So on one hand, yes, you may end up being tagged the relationship destroyer, but on the other hand, it may actually strengthen the relationship between you and your cousin because he will trust you completely. Situations like this are a test of character and you cannot fail this test simply because you are scared of the outcome.
      As for your friend, all I can say is that she needs healing. I thing she is very wounded emotionally and that's probably why she lies a lot. Some people are compulsive liars and have a deep seated need to lie and some of them don't even know where the urge comes from. But your plan is a wise one. Tell her to confess. Give her 1 week. But don't leave it too long, otherwise she may use it against you and against start spinning lies e.g how she knew you some time ago and you just never liked her , etc. And you don't want that to happen.

      • tanx B. Based on the little i know about my cousin, he looks for other qualities in a girl rather than virginity. But i guess one of the many qualities he saw in her was her being a virgin. I guess she wanted to come across to him as unique kind of girl.

  7. All I can say is that it's 2011 and there's a lot of pressure on these girls. From family and society, they are to remain virgins till marriage. From media, especially western media, sexuality is in. A lot of people lie about their virginity. I personally see no shame in being a virgin or not being a virgin. There's nothing wrong in admitting either. Your friend needs to learn to be comfortable with who she is. Virginity doesn't make someone a better wife or husband.

    If I were in your shoes, I would tell your cousin ONLY if he's a virgin. If he's not, then quite frankly I would leave him lol. It's because of people like him that drive girls to lie in the first place. A lot of men sleep with countless numbers of girls before marriage, then when it's time for marriage, they want a virgin. Sorry, but I don't believe in hypocrisy.

  8. i think you should let y
    our cousin know the truth. Dont make him go through that devastating moment looming in the nearest future.

  9. You need to tell your cousin!! The fact that she can continue this lie is proof of a fraction of what she is capable of. If he marries her nko?! Omo, wahala dey. She’ll just be lying about sleeping w/ every Tom Dick(no pun intended) & Harry. Lying about money, lying about the smallest of details of EVERYTHING for the rest of her marriage. In fact, she may even lie about the person who impregnates her.

    On the other less judgemental side, perhaps she’s keeping up this lie in order to find a good guy that will treat her the right way. And that may be her only vice & she might clean up once she “captures” a good man. She might be under the illusion that virgins get some type of red carpet treatment. It also depends on if her virginity is the end all be all of the relationship for your cousin. If not, then it shouldn’t matter if you tell.

    Now that I’ve written an essay, good luck, & let us know how it turns out! Lol.

  10. Wow..i think u should tell him this story indirectly and ask him what he would do if he was You and if he would want to know he has being deceived..and go from there

  11. Hay! I think your story is amhh…. Not cool. My honest opinion is that u talk to the girl first if you can contact her. Try convincin her 2 tell the truth, bearin in mind that its not goin to be easy cos its difficult 2 find a good man now. If she doesnt then talk 2 your cuison if he is the understandin type letin him know that not bin a virgin is not a big deal anymore. And if he doesnt listen i think its best 2 let them be.

  12. This is one of the funniest stories I’ve read anywhere in agees! Geez! Mehn, i can only advice you to let the truth be known this minute! Rightaway please!!!!

  13. I don't know about this story sha! Since when has someone in Niaja been sleeping around since high school days and been in a sexual relationship and not have a reputation or word get out somehow. The girl has even made connections with your cousin in ATL sef! If the guy doesn't know that the girl is not a virgin, he has not done his research thoroughly! You might as well tell him, because the minute he goes and opens his mouth to other people that this is the "virgin" he wants to marry, he will find out the truth in the most embarrassing way!

    • Hey Kelz, its very possible to have girls sleeping around and no one would know about it, especially when they seem to be really spiritual. This world is a small world oo, anyone can meet anyone. My cousin said he met her in Chris Oyakhilome's church and she seemed really spiritual.

  14. no offence bt ur story does nt sound convincin’.u knw ur frnd lied abt rats,okada,to obama.gives u evry reason 2doubt her evry wrd.2ndly,wt were u guys doin 2fnd out u were birds of a feather,’virgins’?3rdly why wait4 3yrs 2commit? Coz u neva hd ur foot on d ground d hole tym.d ATL guy,wots d fuss abt gttn married2a virgin?d whole story 4me its a LIE!

    • @Ike- its ok to believe wateva u wanna blieve. I already got pips advice on wat to do and i'ma stick to just that. tanx for taking out time to comment tho.

  15. I just hope she is not confusing “celibacy” with “virginity” because they are two different things. Definitely not interchangeable. If this is the case, then it adds a new dimension to the scenario, and makes more sense then her just claiming to be an outright “virgin” You know?

  16. hey man no time to check time, you don’t need advise befor u tell him, call ur cuzin tell him all u know about her, such girl can’t make a go home. Make sure u don’t hide any thing about her 2 ur cuzin, but if you hide anything this well make u hater, if ur cuzin get 2 know all these. Safe ur cuzins life, not to be ride by such kind of girl. So she can learn to stop liez. If ur story is true

  17. Are u sure she dint lie to u or ur cuz abt her name or famille background.fink dats like wat u shld be worried abt.she’s prolly gon lie to ur cuz abt a whole lot more so bewarned.

  18. Human beings and their guiles……
    We all lie one way or the other but the degree now differs…..
    Most people that start lying is always due to some pressure of some sort…..
    People stop lying when they get older and realize that even if you lie or not it doesnt make any difference and people see you for who you are……
    Problem is that some people make their lies a reality and live in that unreal world so they cannot seperate whats real from what is not so they are stuck with lies…..
    In this case na to offer sacrifice or go cele church make dem beat the lie comot for your body remain (which i recommend for your friend)……
    On a more serious note just tell her to talk to your cousin and if she doesnt then speak to him as you have rightfully agreed upon doing…..

    Abeg lets know what happens o!!!!! lol!!!!!
    Nice read sha…..

  19. Hello Babe,
    I think going to school is not only to acquire certificates but also to increase in our IQ through exposures. I think you already know the answer to your question.
    We are talking about trust here; and your cousin’s “so called” girlfriend is faking and could be dangerous at the time. Plssssssssssss tell your cousin the story you know about his girlfriend.
    That makes you a “brother’s keeper”.

  20. Quite a few people here don’t have anything to say…I wonder why they then said anything. I think your decision to talk to her is the best idea,,and if she doesn’t still tell him then really your cousin doesn’t deserve to be with such a two faced liar…its easier to break up an engagement than to live in the guilt of allowing a marriage that would b
    e unhappy

  21. PLEASEEEE TELL YOUR COUSIN JARE!! WHATS THAT RUBBISH……ABEGI!!!!!! I AM SO ANNOYED BY THIS, SEE HER MAKING U FEEL BAD when YOU had the good intention, abegi, before she breaks ur cousins heart when she finds another man that can give her more regularly……we all know how hard it is not to give in to the pressure…..

    Isha….anyway….tell your cousin sha….#THATISALL

  22. This should be easy,

    just tell ur cousin to introduce you to her…… ehehehehehe

    and HECK u betta tell ur cousin…. girl dont play with family.

  23. Please Beter inform your cousin ASAP! If This your so called friend cannot maintain a good friendship with you based on trust without lying how can she then make a good life partner for your cousin. Please Tell ur cousin shap shap! only God Noes what else she has been lying about!! Her Lying about her virginity which is a very sensitive issue to your cousin means she doesnt love him and would hurt him if the knot is tied!

  24. OMG!,Is this story real or some tale to get attention?If this is real,the best action to take will be to tell your cousin what you know about the girl.You need not feel guilty about breaking their relationship.If your cousin loves her simply because she is a virgin,he has misplaced priorities.Virginity is a virtue,however,a lying virgin is no pride for any man.Love is deeper than that.Lying to the one you love is highly unacceptable!

  25. Please tell him the truth, it is obvious your bestfriend is never going to change. She would lie to your cousin even when they get married about bigger things…
    She is addicted to lieing. Don’t want your cousin to be dissappointed.

  26. Interesting article…I'd like to believe that the sole purpose of this pieceis to enlighten the audience and NOT a question of whether or not you should or shouldn't tell your cousin. That's a no brainer: do the right thing, tell him.

  27. UPDATE- My ex best friend called me few hrs ago to tell me that she already told my coz the truth about it. I called my coz to ask and he said the talk is between him and his chick. He asked me not to get involved. I guess i don't belong in the gist anymore. Thanks for all ur advice. Like nigerians will say " My hands are now clean." and my conscience is clear. Na two of dem sabi oo.
    One thing i learnt from this whole thing is that this world is a small world oo, let us strive to be good cos u never know who u will meet in future, everyone knows everyone in this world. Am still shocked at how the both of them met, aha, this world is small o.

    • u should tell him to hear you out after all you have known this girl longer than him. Good luck to him tho, may he make the right choice. The story was entertainin tho 🙂

  28. @ Jayfunde: Fnx alot! Pretty sure dt evri1 whu reads dis lrnt sumfin. Tnx 4 d ‘eye-opener’! As per tlkn 2 ur coz u dun d ril ish dts ur bit wteva hppns aftawrds is deir sh*t! Welldone!

  29. I just hope she hasn’t spun him another lie about the virginity matter. Too bad he didn’t let u tell the story.

    • @Nneka- u right. I thot the same thing. Wat if she told him a diff virginity lie ? well, since he asked me not to get involved until he needs my opinion, then fine. My other fam members thing i shld just back down and i honestly have backed down. Wateva he does, its their bizness. I have my own relationship drama so y drink panadol for a cousin's headache.

  30. Interfering with issues that ivolve love could make you the enemy if you are not careful… U might tell your cousin but he is going to want to find out for himself because we humans are curious beings.. So you could try but don’t push it,let him find out..

    • tanx Lisa- i get wat u saying. That was one of the reasons i was reluctant on tellg him. Away from that, remind me to be completely honest with whoever i am gon date so i don't end up in a relationship full of lies and betrayal. Cos if i start a relationship with lies, wat if my future bf knows someone who knows my dirty past? Mehn, got to start my relationship devoid of lies.

  31. U are a big boy,all u jst need to do is pretend nt 2 no d girl,make her comfortable,b a man nd b quiet.let him know by himself,den u can nw give him a nice advice when d time comes

  32. why are u thinking abt, I expected u to av told ur cousin by nw. she can destroy him if u dnt act fast and nw.

  33. MAAAAAAN! I say you tell your cousin. You would be allowing your cousin to marry a liar!! I mean if she is going to lie about that then there is no telling what else she is going to lie about. I mean I know every dude want's that pure innocent girl, and also wants the bragging rights to tell his boys that he's the only one and will be the only one his girlfriend will taste. (Rolling my Eyes)

    It's not that serious to me personally. Yes, I'm not even going to lie, I use to dream about holding out until marriage, but I guess it's safe to say.."Blame it on the devil", lol. Yes,..sex is important in a relationship. My homies and I have our 3 Pointer Relationship Outline: 1)Communication 2)Trust 3) Sex. Your cousin's soon to be wife has failed all THREE of them. Not one,..but all THREE of them. If she cannot communicate her thoughts and just other issues in her life to your cousin, how on earth will your cousin trust her,..then she's holding out! So if your cousin is not getting any (sex), that means somebody else is tapping that. My bad for sounding so blunt, but it's the truth my dear.

    Go on and call your cousin, tell him the truth. You could really be saving him some heart ache and pain. She actually sounds like the type that if he decides to bring her over to the states,….yep, you already know what I'm about to say…She's going to entertain your cousin for about a year or so,..then throw the deuces. Yep,..Holla! So please, please, pretty please tell your cousin the truth.

    P.S. i'm not saying your cousin should go out and search for a "Hoe", but it would not hurt to you know, what someone is like before marriage, you know make sure that person is okay in bed at least. Just let him know he should look at other genuine qualities in a nice young lady.

    And to all my Virgins out there,..continue to hold out ladies,..don't be like me, be better than me.

    Until Next Time,
    Much Love:-)

  34. its better to let ur cousin know, cus it might too late by d time he discova, if she can lie to her closest frind abt virginity then she can lie abt her parent aswell. so let him knw.

  35. I so hate it wen pips lie,who do they tink der r decievin anyways?i ve a cousin who was always laughin cus of the same tin(not bin a virgin)she claimed to be one!!she is so so rigid,she always crossed my mind as sum battery operated person…
    She recently got so ill from an abortion went wrong dat had her sayin bye bye to her womb,cus it had to be taken out…sad but true,it wasnt really an idea of imaculate conception was it?
    Tell ur cus hon,u owe him d duty of savin him an enterniy of hell!!!

  36. its beta u let him no cos if he finds out dat u new abt it and u never told him, u might not like the outcome………

  37. It means u dont luv ur causine,u dont even need 2 ask again jst go ahead and tel ur causine abt it.cause a girl that can do such thing can also kill someday.

  38. nw aint dat a b*tch! Omg! Aint no need to fink about it… All yo jes gotta do s save yo cousin b4 its too late… N pls if u cn shut d gal’s lyin mouf wiv a slap… Sheesh!


  40. gurl if u love ur cousin,then u have 2 let him knw.der’s no need in hiding it from him since she lied to you abt the same thing years ago.For God sake dats nt sumfin a gurl shuld lie abt.

  41. try n get 2 met her make sure ur cousin is dia.ur cousin wil countiue 4rm dia if he ask u do u kw her dn’t bite ur go straight up tel him evry tin n GOD WIL BLESS U

  42. Who really cares if you are a virgin or not if you are really a cool person. Well its not proven but I can bet my lil money that most people who publicly claim being virgins “shag” like no tomorrow

  43. Just find a means of meeting that ur friend again,let her know she’s dating ur cousin and she must let ur cousin know the truth.Or else u’ll inform him urself.Let’s see if she can change her ways.

  44. chic i beg tell ur cousine. nobody is a saint. it has happened, y lie abt. it. if u truly love ur cousine and u have his well-being at heart, dent tell him. it will b disastrous if he finds out after marriage.

  45. Aint gat mch 2 say….

    Bur i fink u beta go tel ya cousin,let em knw bout ya past relationship wiv d gal nd then itz lft 4 em 2 dside.

  46. I tink u shud tel ur cousin dat u wud lyk to meet his galfrnd nd frm dere, u’ll hook er nd make er say it by askin er wat she told ur cousin abt her virginity status.

  47. 1st of all I wanna commend u 4ur gudwrks,plz kp it up :). Now ur cousin shld wake up,being a virgin/nt doesn’t mata ny more and dt shldnt b a reason a criteria 4marriage!he himslf is he a virgin?I tink u shld tell ur frnd,ex-frnd to open up 2him b4 she regrets it…it luks like he’s only in2 her cus he tinks she pure…I dnt cr abt her,its ur cousin I care abt,family is evrytin 2me…hv a gr8 day 🙂

  48. Get her contact,call and tell ha 2 tell him herself b4 u do,am sure if lovs ha he’ll stil marry ha,but u kno wat dat means?no trust cos she lied at first

  49. This is frnd is insane,y wuld she b lyin abt her virginity,jst go ahead n tel ur cousin bcos if ur cousin finds out at the end of the day,he wont forgive you.

  50. let him discover himself i av my reasons..but am short of word cos dis same thing happened to me….i jst can't imagine y gurls does dat….don't know wat to say…cos its SUCKZ.

  51. Dat liar needs deliverance… 07035682891 cal me i want 2 advise u personally… Facebook (ADAMS ABUBAKAR SODIQ) or mail smartangel4luv14@yahoo.com.. Pls bcare of dat lady she mite b dangerous if she found out dat u r d one dat let ur cousin bro to no.

  52. I think it wil b gud if u let ur bstfrnd knows dat her husband 2b is ur cousin mayb dat wil mak her tel him d truth abt herself bcos she might get scard u’ll tel him

  53. hahahaahaha very fani! das wat we wil do to you guz yes! cos everyguy wana mary a Virgin,but they are the same people who alws askd for it b/4 marraige yes we wil continue to lieeee…Niway pls don tel him let him discover himself kk…..lol


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