Love Hurts…Or Does It?


Violence against women has been going on for centuries. GOD Himself told Eve that there would be enmity between her and the Serpent- hence, the ongoing subjugation, maltreatment and brutalization of women worldwide. That is not to say that He doesn’t love women! In fact, Jesus gave much more respect and love to women and did more to liberate and uplift women than Anyone ever did, most especially at the time He was on earth! Nonetheless, the disrespect and violence continues. Most crimes of passion involve physical assault, many times deadly, against women.

The whole “Chrihanna” episode of February 8th last year really brought out the issue of physical assault on women to the forefront. I mean, if this pretty superstar could be beaten up by her equally famous superstar boyfriend then what about us “mere mortals”? (BTW: this is out of context but isn’t it ironic that she has songs aptly titled “Rehab” and “Emergency Room”?) And this wasn’t just a few slaps upside the head, no. It was the whole shebang!! I guess we’ve all seen the pics that circulated the internet.

Anyway, I got to thinking about it and I wonder…do you realize that some people can actually rationalize beating a woman up??Yes, they do! It varies from “Oh, I didn’t really hit her THAT hard” (You blacked her eye and split her lip,ChRambo!) to “She deserved it” to “Women need a bit of that to keep them in line” and the list goes on.

Now mind you I will admit that some of us women can look for TROUBLE with a capital T!! I have heard of some girls deliberately goading men into seeing what they(men) will do or how they will react!! For instance, you may hear of a woman saying: “Yeah,that’s right,you punk!!!Yeah! Whatcha gonna do,huh? You gonna hit me,huh? Huh? You wuss!!” In the process some of these ladies won’t even give the guy a chance to walk away: they are all up in his face!! Now, some guys are in control and will walk away angry while some others will turn around, look at the lady and…..WHAP!!!One right smack in the kisser!!!

Ladies, not all men are chivalrous gentlemen! There are some who will take a slap calmly and walk away or not hit you back but there are some that will beat the oestrogen out of you and scatter your hair, nails and makeup in the process!! So a note to the ladies: if he’s that much of a schmuck, walk away and don’t look back. Don’t goad or provoke any man thoughtlessly. After all, they do have 30% more muscle than we do and believe me that can go a long way and do a lot of damage in a single punch!) And on the offside…it would also help to have big burly brothers or friends who can back you up!! Men should be able to control themselves but then, not all of them do.

A lot of a man’s self control depends on his background is. Some men will NEVER ever hit a woman no matter how she goads and provokes them. In most cases it is because their fathers (or other relevant male figures) taught them the value of self control. Some men are also not naturally temperamental or aggresive.

Personally, I just don’t think men should hit women (or vice versa). There’s no need, really. There are better, more civilized methods of handling disagreements. Not everything has to be handled physically. And what do you do when the man and woman have roughly the same level of strength or physical training? Do they fight until the death? Sure, the average man could be beaten up by Cynthia Rothrock but try pitting her up against Jet Li…and they are both about the same size! How do you think that would end up?

“Blessed are the peacemakers” it is said in the Bible but how can one “make” a woman “peaceful” by physically assaulting her? The only thing that would achieve is instill fear and pent up rage in her and is that really necessary? We women respond to love: TLC… basically mushy stuff. Instead of slapping a lady give her ‘the eye’ (and ALL men have that ‘look’ in their arsenal) and walk away, stay out for a bit till you cool down. Believe me, when you come back she’s likely to have calmed down and you can both rationally solve the problem.

What do you think? Is physical violence in relationships justified on either side? Can it ever really solve anything?

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  1. The first sentence of this article is infuriating. I read no further. Would need be for me to when i see a defect from the beginning? The objective of this article has already been defeated since we have negation. This comment shouldn't at all be rejoindered, for it is a befitting cause for women. But when an idea is twisted then it should be highlighted. Does the bible in anyway present the word of God as ambiguous here? It should be clearly understood that the enmity is between the offsprings of the serpent and Eve and not man and woman. Human bad habits comes with knowledge of good and evil. It is obviously written sentimentally and without thought for what have you been studying over the years of your Christian life(obviously you are a Christian).

  2. Noted, Felix. It was indeed written sentimentally. (Although I don't really understand the negation bit- please explain).

    My point is not that there is enmity between man and woman per se- just that the serpent uses any tool he will in this war- in this case, man (not all men, just the abusive ones) so yes, I agree I should have been much clearer on that issue.

    I do however take an issue with- "…without thought for what have you been studying over the years of your Christian life(obviously you are a Christian)." I think that is presumptuous uncalled for. Your issue should be with my method of writing and the way I placed my ideas as far as I'm concerned and not a personal attack on my way of life.

    • Oh but I will take the constructive bits of your comment and sharpen up my writing and presentation skills for the future so I thank you for pointing those out. I'm all up for constructive criticism- that's the only way to grow.

    • Am sorry my words were harsh. I din't mean for a personal attack. But on whole you have been sensible and understanding to criticsm. Like you am a writer and the logic of the article should be persuasive. We should have a little chat if you don't mind.

      • Apology accepted, Mr Felix as I'm sure you meant no harm. I am a 'starting' writer myself and as such I must open myself to criticism when necessary.:)

  3. The negation here is the sentiment. It defeats the objective of your logic by taking away your original message. Obviously your talent is evident.

    You could personally discuss your thoughts on this with me by my email because you do have objections like i do. Would be really nice.

  4. @Felix,am not sure anymore if ure trying to help with the article or trying to judge with ur own views…

    @sifushka…anyways, for me physical violence isnt acceptable whether it is coming from the man or woman…in no way does it help build a relationship,it destroys and kills the spirit of the party that is being abused, makes them become an image that even they themselves cant recognise, it cld lead them to a psychiatric home or even to an early grave if the party doesnt do smthg about it fast….

  5. I know I'm late, but this article is great! Very well written with good advice, don't provoke others to anger, test them to see what they might do, or push them to their limits – to what end? It just might end in a good a* whooping that you will both regret. I do not believe a man should ever hit a woman, or vice versa for that matter. Violence is never a solution, after all it only compounds the problem. This is def. a worthwhile topic and your writing is the truth. 🙂

    Recently wrote a poem on domestic violence on my blog actually –


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