Is It Time Pressure?


Right after typing this title, I  felt a sighof relief cause this is the last point  I will be delving into as I close out on these five differently titled series from LIVING THE FALSE NOTIONIT IS STANDARDS NOT EGO, EXCUSES……AGAIN? STOP PLEASE, SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING? ,to finally this. I have actually learnt a lot from each typed word, gotten in contact with a bunch of cool people, received a deluge of comments and alsa overall the positive feedback outweigh the negatives, thankfully.

As I  fall within this age range, I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give it the effect. You are the effect. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long it will take to find another guy and get married? Ouch! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue.

A girl friend of mine, who is 23 called me up to talk about her ‘man’ troubles.(It seems like everyone talks to me but truly I just seem to have ears that can listen to  friends who need someone to talk to. I found it a problem half solved for me  when I have people to talk to).  During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.

Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!


Always believe the best. He/She sees you at your worst but never forgets your best; thinks you’re a little bit more wonderful than you really are; will talk with you endlessly or just sit with you in silence; is happier about your success than you are; doesn’t try to know more, act smarter or be your constant teacher; He/She  listens even when what you have to say is not particularly interesting. That’s because love believes you’re important!

Seriously much said already. There’s no need to compromise your true integrity and I will encourage you guys to read all the five articles but truly I love and pray for y’all and I appreciate your time. I ALSO SERIOUSLY NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE EKENE AGABU’S  WRITEUP “5 mistakes women make“,WHICH HELPED FUEL THESE ARTICLES. I ONLY TRIED TO REPACKAGE THE ARTICLE NOT TO INUNDATE COMPLIMENTS BUT ONLY SERVE AS A LEARNING TOOL. I THINK I NEED A VACATION NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


  1. Nice Article Ayomide!!! we expect to read more from you on your vacation!!! Some people make better decisions under pressure while other dont!!! sometimes pressure is good!!! i am speaking from a man's prospective!!! some men may need pressure from their society to get into this matrimony contract!!!

  2. Not baad, but pls the editor should check the English and make certain corrections before posting articles. Nice article.

  3. I have read all 5 articles. They are all nice, it seems as if that you are very observant and well conscious of the Nigerian society. Much pressure is being put on ur ladies to go to college, get a job and have a marriage. In the very end, they end up in a loveless marriage with kids and a husband that goes to Africa to sleep with useless girls. Speaking as a guy, I feel these young girls pain. Such is life.

  4. i took time to go thru all the 5 articles,and i truly felt God was talking to me,i just left a 3year relationship with a guy who i didnt knw where he lived,simply becos he had a daughter frm a previous relationship,and was careful who he brought home,so after 3yrs of living with his lies and with my stupidity i called him to my house one day sat him down told him it was over i deserved better ,reading this article has giev me a reassurance of my worth.thanks

  5. all these your friends that you are using style to spread their gist on the internet…Ayomide's friends beware lol
    On the real, very sound advice, it's something we all know but it takes time and experience for it to really sink in.

  6. WORD!!!Really d pressures cld be killing not only d pressure lonliness as well.buh really bliv it is well.9Ce note there

  7. i wish i could stand and shout out that 30 is the new 20 but in all actuality, when it comes to marriage and family, that's just not going to work. If I didn't have to worry about my constantly ticking biological clock, then yea, I wouldn't mind marrying in my late 20s or early 30s. Thats more time for me to get my shit together and carefully select my future life partner. However, because i've always dreamed of having a troop of kids later on in life, i have to realize that i don't have the luxury of leisure. I need to get serious abt finding a good man and jumping the broom because the longer I wait, the harder and more complicated it will be when i'm finally decide i'm ready to have kids.


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