How Much Older Is Too Old?


After my last post on I told myself that I’m not sure anyone wants to hear my mouth again. I received plenty insults, I actually questioned if I was really normal. But I decided I’m normal. Maybe a special normal, but normal.

Today I’m back with another burning question that I know plagues more than just me. How much older is too old?

So I’m in my twenties, and I consider myself pretty young at heart but right now I’ve had this serious craving for older men. Now I’m not talking men in their 30s o. I’m talking late 40s, pushing 50, and almost grey hair-ish. Think George Clooney (51) or Denzel (57). Fit and in shape. So I’m not talking about some pot bellied governor of some random state that wants me to calling him daddy or uncle, and rub his stomach for him. I mean I can call him daddy but only when… ok you get the point. I’m talking fit older men that still got it.

I’m dating a guy right now, and he’s 19 years older than me, and it’s wonderful. Better than I had ever imagined actually. Fun, exciting, spontaneous, sensually experimental, very understanding and probably the best of all, mature and free of mind games. Plus I get to learn a lot about the 70s that I didn’t know before. Yes I like it.

I’ve dated “small boys” in my age bracket (5 years or so), and often times by time you deal with their immaturity, lack of ambition, limited or rigid bedroom experience, and just general juvenile tendencies, you end up getting bored and just generally pissed off that you gave this small boy a chance in the first place.I don’t have to worry about him choosing between me and his “homeboys.” I could go on and on, but I’ll just stop so it doesn’t look like I’m bashing younger men even though I kinda am. Blame it on my ex.

With my older guy I’ve found that I don’t have to worry about 80% of the things I find annoying in young men.

But the only issue is that my family and most of my friends think he’s too old for me. That I should limit it to less than 10 years older. Often times when he comes around they start acting differently, or they feel they can’t talk about everything. One of my friends even said she can’t talk about bedroom activities cos she feels she’s around an uncle. Urgh! If only she knew what this “uncle” could do. Another friend said I look like one of those ashawos in Lagos always spotted with older men.

But who made that rule abeg? Is there a hard age gap where it becomes too old? My friends and family say above 10 years older is too much. Some others have said 7 years is the limit.I mean I’m just dating him for the fun of it, not like I want to marry him (or anyone for that matter), so why not just have fun and enjoy the experience while I have without over-thinking it or getting judged all over the place.

So I decided to bring this to the wonderful people at How much older is too old? 5 years? 10 years? 15? 20? Both as a girl and as a guy.

I’d love to hear the responses.

Side-note: Meanwhile what is an older man called? Like older women are cougars, so what name do older men have? Just curious





  1. They are called pedophiles. LoL! Just kidding. In this world, if you find someone who understands you and you all are on the same page about what you want out of life…go for it. No need living by other people’s standards of normalcy and creating stress for yourself.

  2. Lwkm..dis writer must be smoking smething really cheap ah swear… The moment u feel smething is wrong..then smething is rilly wrong!!!… If u felt notin was wrong with dating ur old man u wunt be askin how old is old enuf…ryt now I dunt think deres a difference btw u and a runs gurl..ur own worse sef cos u r in denial!!

  3. 19 years is a bit much tho, but for me I’ll stop at 10 or 12 maybe. But i see nothing wrong in dating an older guy.

    It’s very normal esp when these small boys are wasting your time.

  4. i respected jummai wen she posted sumtin abt not getting marid wich i fink itz her choice.bur dis sh*t abt datin a man as old as Ʊr oldman…Ʊ fall ma hand..Ʊ kno itz rong datz y Ʊr seeking opinion,biatch.b

  5. Nice question you asked. I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately too. Lost my wife and trying to get back to the mixing game. It’s amazing to see much younger ladies showing intrest when I’d thought they wouldn’t. Though I think otherwise, but even ladies say 15 years age difference is still cool.

  6. Let’s say am just passing by. But I’d like to be a lil bit indifferent here. And I’ll like to go with the comment of both omor and kez… First. I support kez’s idea which says u should go for whatever u want as far as the party involved is being understanding blah blah and blah and stop listening to what other people are saying. But then Omor got something stucked on my mind ( If u felt notin was wrong with dating ur old man u wunt be askin how old is old enuf…) And that got me thinking for a while and I was like “hell yeah. If she didn’t feel twas wrong she wouldn’t have askd” and finally. She added saying she doesn’t see the difference between u and a runs girl. Of course I laughed agreeing to the assertions while reading that part. But then I quickly came back to my senses realizing the part which u said it wasn’t like u intend marrying him. Well, have fun while it last I would say but then be canny cos u don’t knw what might end it. You might think its just for fun and other things creep in. Anyways. The ball is in your court. And don’t blame people around you as well as your parent for their opinions cos u might feel the same way if ur daughter does the same.

  7. Guys like to date gals dat will give him respect and honour him wen he his wrong nt d 1 dat will blame him 4 evrytyn wot i mean is dat guy love understanding and beautiful,dat can adapt 2 situations i.e. Tolerable.dat is Y guy are advised 2 marry gals younger dan dem!

  8. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. As long as there’s love and understanding then dere’z nothing to worry.

    all doze people saying she’s a runs girl it’s your mother that is a runz girl. didn’t your mothers marry men 10 years older than them? hiss.

  9. It’s all fun and games until one of these old men die ontop you lol. No judgement here though. Do as you please

  10. I used to say i couldn’t date a guy more than 5 years older than me. Then i met this guy… he was 17 years older than me and i didnt expect anything to happen… until it did! Its like you say. No games, no drama and he had experience that young guys don’t have, taught me a few things mehn… he had his own thing going and while i knew i wasn’t in it for the long run, it was fun while it lasted. I am in my early 20s as well and we gelled well. I didn’t want, take or request anything from him. We had our fun, it was great while it lasted, it is over now and no regrets. Don’t assume anything until you are in the situation.. you never know what experiences wait for you. Long term i wouldn’t advice it and it has its own issues as well but overall, it was the ish mehn!!!

  11. well i also know what it feels lyk dating older guys. i dated one who is older than me with about 19 yrs for about 6 yrs and it was almost one of the best things that ever happened to me. He was caring, patient, loving and all u can think of but i felt uncomfortable being with him in public because of the age difference but left for that he was all ill eva want in a man. I feel age is not a factor go for what makes u happy and comfortable but neva lead any1 on, if u know u dont want anytin serious with this man in question let him knw ur stand and come to an agreement with him.


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