“The fall of a dead leaf is an advice to the green ones” as my dearly beloved father always tells me. Before I start my diplomatic tirade, let me take this short moment to admonish you to stay on top of your thought process. Lest you end up like I did today… In the middle of nowhere. Literally that is. My writings are usually marked by my endless talks of how disturbing our present society is. I find a lot of things in our generation quite perturbing. One of these things is the very popular ‘side chick’ etiquette. A renown motivational speaker once stated the blatant truth with the following words: “ Relationships determine 80% of your happiness”. Hence you see a lot of people living unhappy lives based on bad relationships and encounters. I have been blessed enough to have met some of the most mischievous men on planet earth. But as a child of the Most High God, I have learnt a thing or two from them. Based on my own acuity, a side chick is a woman who is being kept on a leash by a man she may or may not have feelings for. A side chick is nonexistent without the presence of a main chick. While the side piece enjoys little to no benefits ( such as calls, the guy’s time, care, public recognition…), the man usually acknowledges the presence of the main woman. I reckon side chicks to be modern day concubines. Just as biblical days, concubines were not put in a position to be seen as wife material and were, more often than always, pushed behind. I’m also aware of the fact that some women out there like to be in that position and that, my dear reader, is perfectly okay. Nevertheless, this will not hinder me from spilling my thoughts on why most men are deceitful. And I say “most” explicitly because I am a valiant hater of self-deceit. Just maybe someday I will rise to the defence of the side niggas but as for what may pertain to today’s topic… It is very well known and widely recognised that most men often times go for what they want and who they want. So in a case were a man wants to make you his side chick, he will very much probably go all the day to do so. Even if it means playing the family card on you. Join me as I elaborate more on my theory.
In today’s age keeping someone of the opposite sex on a leash has become one of the most easiest things to do. As a matter of certainty, this is exemplified in the game called “talking to”. I see “talking to” someone as way a lot of guys/girls use in order to eat their cake and have it. Thereby swearing that they aren’t committed. As a woman, being kept on a leash becomes the easiest task for a man when it is very obvious you had or have feelings for him. At this point, your feelings can be likened to a candle that can be lit at any given time when needed. This can be when he and the main chick don’t see eye to eye or when he’s just looking for a fling. The bottom line is that he will always return to her after he’s done with you. The most ludicrous part of it all is that he won’t mind cheating on the main woman. What am I trying to tell you here? A lot of women believe that a man being in a relationship ( or even married…) is enough reason for him to leave them alone. I bless the heavens because I am not a part of that idiotic train of thought anymore. Most men don’t, shall not, cannot and will never care. It all comes down to the male ego which is one of the most complex things I have ever studied in my entire life.
A man can decide to put you on a leash and consequently make you his side chick. Surprisingly enough, this doesn’t necessarily have to do with who you are as a woman. You’d think having a good heart and being caring will make a man respect and love you but the opposite is often true. You can liken my previous statement to a man who is a lover of bronze. A table is being presented before him with gold and bronze. Now, we can all agree that gold is by far worth more than bronze. But because our guy here loves bronze, he will pick the bronze and keep an eye on the gold.
Another important factor to consider is the other woman. When a man truly loves a woman, he loves her. Hence you can see little red flags here and there that can serve as warning signs to you. It is not wise for you, as a woman, to reason that a man will leave the woman he has at home for you. I say so because, in all truth and honesty, he won’t leave her for you. Some men are very bold in their dubious ways. They can go the extent of telling you they will dump her for you but the opposite is true. Just because a man loves a woman doesn’t mean he won’t cheat on her with you. Take for instance a man that says he doesn’t like his relationship to be displayed on social media. You will be shocked when you realise their relationship is all over your timeline or Facebook page. It hurts, ma, that I know. But the truth of the matter is that true love is found in little things. These things can be checking up on you, spending quality time with you, acknowledging you when you two are out… If he only knows your name and number when he is horny then you, ma, have a problem you need to solve. Or better still, if he feels comfortable enough to pop out of nowhere in order to tease you then you, my dear, need to draw a line. Mind you, having people on social media know you’re in a relationship isn’t a criteria for it being real. Nevertheless, the moment you find yourself down and doubting him most of the time then that should be enough reason for you know where you stand with him.
Being a side chick is like a one-sided relationship were the man is basically taking all he can from you and you are getting nothing in return. Like I reiterate very often, the only treasures a woman owns in this life are: her body, her mind and her soul. Once a man deceitfully captures your mind, you can consider your body taken and your soul tied to his. Hence we speak of emotional attachment which is one of the worst plagues to find yourself in when it’s with a man who doesn’t value you. You can’t force a horse to drink water from the river if it doesn’t want to. So also, you cannot make a man love you and be with you if he doesn’t want to. But if he wants to make you his side chick? He will do it anyway and you won’t even know you are till it’s too late and that is if you let him.
I said in the beginning of this article that most men are deceitful. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t good men out there. But just like it is hard to come across a good woman so also it is difficult to meet a good man. Though being a daunting task, it is not impossible. As they always say… nothing good comes easy.
Now with that being said… I think this post will need a part 2, don’t you agree?
– The Alpha Female