Musings Of A Retired Video Vixen (Episode 1)


Move to the side, smile at the camera afterwards you turn, back the camera and shake your ass

I have always imagined that one day I will be famous. Dancing has always been part of my life so when I got my first opportunity to feature in a music video, I was excited. I never really viewed myself as a video vixen but I never thought that technically I will soon be called that.

The music industry is booming these days, one releases a single this week, then a video next week. I get to chill with some of the stars and have first hand access to them, so yea some perks do come from it.

My first video audition happened in Jos. I was called into the director’s office for the second time after I had flopped my screen test.  He had asked me to turn around, when I did.

You got a small  booty”, the director said

I know, you want a dancer or a big booty girl?  Of course I know am not packing but the audition says DANCERS WANTED FOR A VIDEO”, I said.

Oh sh*t, there goes my mouth but I wasn’t about to be put down by some short black dude.

Here’s the thing, I’m skinny, no ass, some breasts but mehn I can dance and play all sexy. Besides I wasn’t after the money. I just wanted my face out there, then deal with shyness later.#believemethatsrationalthinkingthen.

He then asked me to leave. I was so sure I had blown it.


Late that night, I received an sms asking me to be in the studio by 8am on Friday with some sexy outfits.

I got the gig!!

Yayy!!! #dancingazonto


Friday, 8am

I made sure my hair and nails were done and no pimples, yes I said it, no pimples; I needed to look fresh even though I was broke.

Day one of the shoot started well, the make up artists transformed me, (not an ugly duckling though). When it got to my turn to be on camera, I was a nervous wreck. I fell before I got on screen, the director took almost 10 shots of me and was not impressed. I was benched, like some players in Arsenal football matches (no names mentioned).

One of the make up artists walked up to me ..

Your first time, yea ?”  I nodded.

You will be fine, i will talk to the director to let you come back in. When its your turn, imagine you are in the club with your girls dancing the night away. Then let this song be your song, the song is quite catchy so one can easily dance to it. They are short of girls so you need to get your groove back. Do your think the garbage I just said helped?

I nodded but I knew I needed time. I called my boyfriend Ben and the first thing he said is “hope they are not pressing your nyash?

Typical Ben….

I knew he was worried about the skimpy outfits and the boys on set but I assured him, even told him I couldn’t do anything when it was my turn.

Here is the thing about my boyfriend, he likes me on skimpy outfits but only for his eyes. He likes when I dance for him, in clubs or in the bedroom but as far as it’s just him which I think iss cute but he just doesn’t buy the whole modelling thing, “baby, every girl in Nigeria is a model now. Even if they are modelling in their compound”.  Funny yea but true.

After he made me laugh, I felt beautiful and hot and definitely ready.

I walked to the platform when I was called again, I could feel the stares from people who couldn’t be bothered with me  so I took my time in case their impatience made me fall on my ass again. The music started playing and I turned my back at the camera  (#breathein&in)and went down.

I danced till my feet started to shake from pain of going down in heels. The director let me dance the full song, and I could hear people clapping on set.

As I walked away into the changing room, all I could hear was…

Well done!!!”….“Why she dull us in the first place?”…“Chaii that girl the dance  joor”….“Now that’s my girl!!!

As I walked away, I felt at the top of my game yet shaky cos I’ve never been a fan of being center of attention yet I wanted to dance in videos, sue me.

While getting undressed, someone knocked and it turned out to be an invitation to all the girls to a lounge for the celebration of a successful video shoot, they had got all the important shots with the girls.

For me, it was the end of the day. I longed for my house, my bed, to take a shower and just be free of all the accessories, so I just declined.

As I walked out of the studio I heard someone call my name. I turned and it was the artist…..

Aint you coming?”  he asked.

No, thank you. My bed sure pass right now” I said. This was just not the time to form, I was so tired.

Awww that’s sad, looking forward to getting to  know you better”  He said with a wink…

No thanks, maybe some other time”  I just needed to get away.

Lemme have your number, still in town i will give you a call, yea

Okay, 0803*******. Take care of you, by the way lovely song. My ride is here”.

I walked away, very conscious of the eyes starring at me. I hadn’t settled properly in the car well, when an sms came in…

I like you & ama b blunt with u. How bout me, u & my bed, xxx



  1. Yea he sure wanted your as*, and he naturally assumed that it would be easy; him being an artist and everything. Nice story though

  2. Haha! I can just imagine the look on your face through the auditions and sms lol! Your bed truly sure pass my sister, I totally feel you 🙂


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