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nigerian wife

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Men! Men! Men! I am very irritated and annoyed when i hear some of you brag and boast about not being able to cook. You say ” I no sabi cook jor, na woman work be that.” Who talk say na woman work be that ? E dey Bible or Quran ? Is that something to even brag about ? The same way many of you men say you cannot marry a woman that cannot cook, we women too no fit marry una.

When I say cook, I dont mean I want you guys to pound yam or make ogbono or make  fried rice oo, but if u sabi cook this type of food sha, na plus for u. When I say cook, I mean, you guys should know how to boil water, dice onion, fry egg, fry plantain, make tea and identify food ingredients/grocery.

Me and my ex thought it would be romantic if he assisted me in the kitchen to cook. So we started cooking , I wanted him to participate so am like “baby, can u pass me the powder crayfish and maggi?”  My ex was like ” which one be powder crayfish and maggi ?” Can u imagine ? I no vex oo, I opted to coach him on what food ingredients are and he was like ” I am tired baby, lemme go play game. Call me wen food don done.”  I asked him to help me dice onion and he said  “that’s  a woman job, besides I don’t want my friends seeing me dicing onion, its embarrassing.” So I let him go play his stupid game. While I was cooking, he asked me over 100 times if the food was ready. I finally said yes and if u see d way way he rush come kitchen. He ate more than 3 plates, me way cook am eat only once. He even assisted me in eating mine. Shoooo ! which kain tin be dis ? Long-throat, lazy boyfriend like him.

My current bf  no fit cook excellently, but he is willing to learn or help me out in doing one or two things in the kitchen and  he learnt  how to boil water and fry egg. E no try ? I can marry a guy who can at least do simple things even when am out of town. Unlike some guys who would rather their wives/girlfriend spend 7 hrs cooking and stocking up the freezer with  different dishes for them b4 she  travels. A male friend of mine on facebook, recently posted pictures of his culinary skills on fb and I was amazed at his skills.That dude can cook, even better than me.  Thats the kind of man that should come out if they are calling out real/complete men,  not the ones that can’t boil water and put too much maggi and salt in egg.

Pls Men, learn this basic skillz. Its romantic and could make any woman fall for you and it could also relieve us from some cooking task. Kudos to the guys who are excellent cooks and the guys who at least make an effort to learn. And kudos to the girls who can cook and teach their men. And for the women who can’t cook,  the topic is for another day.

Image source: http://threebrothersandasister.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

From Jaguda:

This note was originally on facebook, but we figured it was a good rebuttal to the earlier post “New Age Nigerian Wife.” We got in contact with the writer of the note and she was delighted to share with the audience on here… so here goes:

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Call me whatever you want but I am NOT destined for the kitchen just because some GUY says so. Yes, I am a woman but the ONLY duty that GOD designated to be completely mine in the marriage is to CARRY our children for 9 months. EVERYTHING else my husband can help me with. When GOD created WOMAN, He created her as a HELPMATE not a slave-mate for her husband. GENESIS 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an HELP meet for him.”

There is no reason why I should come home from working a 12-18 hour shifts only to work some more in the kitchen while my husband is laying around, watching TV and being a couch potato. If he was giving the kids their bath or helping out then that’s ok. Spin that however you want. How will my husband tell me he loves me and yet I am aching in the kitchen after work, then I’ll go take care of the kids and then come to bed and meet his needs too, I guess? Let’s be real!

Do not misunderstand me. I do not expect my husband to be in the kitchen all day everyday but for him to feel he is too much of a man to do it or its ONLY to be done if I am “sick, just gave birth or on special occasions”? That makes me sick and think less of him as a man.

A loving relationship is based on service I SERVE my husband and HE SERVES ME. Did JESUS not wash the feet of his disciples? JOHN 9:5-14: Verse 14 says “If I then, your LORD and MASTER, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.”

Ngozi Oleleh says: “Plus what kind of message are you sending your kids, when they know your wife wears the pants in the house….” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I am wearing the pants if my man cooks? What does this dude think wearing the pants means? So if I cook for my husband everyday, does it mean he is the head? NO. If I “…SUBMIT myself unto my own husband, as unto the Lord (EPHESIANS 5:22)* and …as it is fit in the Lord (COLOSSIANS 3:18)* then he is the head. Submitting gives my husband the final say but believe me it has to be according to the word of GOD NOT MAN and I will give my input.

I would love staying at home, cooking, cleaning, having the babies, taking of the home and whatever else, but my husband should be able to BRING home ALL the bacon and I’ll COOK it.

Ngozi Oleleh also says “When guests come to your house, imagine the MAN, cooking and bringing out food from the kitchen to serve the guests…WOW…NOW that would be funny… Your friends and your friends wives will laugh at you.” How immature is this man to think the character of your marriage is based on appearances and whether your friend/friend’s wives will laugh at you? It would be awesome if my husband came in the kitchen to ask if I needed help and takes out some of the food. Yes, your friend may laugh but ask him how happy his home is, and the wife may also laugh but I promise you she is jealous and thinking WHY does my husband not do this. I have friends who are my age and some who have bring married 20+ years and practice this “NEW AGE NONSENSE” but they are much happier than the other married couples who do not. It’s a tried and proven method that builds a strong foundation.

Bottom line? Marriage and real love is based SOLELY on GOD and his WORD. The bible urges a man to “… love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT; Ephesians 5:25*”. Ngozi Oleleh has completely missed the point: It is not what you can get from your wife but what you can give her and vice versa. Christ first loved us not the other way around: 1 John 4:19 “We love him, because he FIRST LOVED US!”

1 Corinthians 7:4 The WIFE HATH NOT POWER of her own body, BUT the HUSBAND: and likewise also the HUSBAND HATH NOT POWER of his own body, BUT the WIFE. This guy obviously just sees the first part where the man has power over the woman BUT READ ON AND WHAT DOES IT SAY? Verse 3 says: Let the HUSBAND render unto the WIFE due BENEVOLENCE: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Benevolence* meaning to perform kind, charitable acts: Isn’t cooking for your wife a kind and charitable act?

Finally, this is a conversation each and every couple needs to have this conversation BEFORE marriage! Each party should discuss where they stand, decide if you both can live with the ideals you set. CAUTION: This should take more than one conversation! Accept what your partner says at face value, do NOT think you can CHANGE him/her after marriage! Pray earnestly that God send you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh for the Bible warns “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:13-15. If you are unequally yoked and already married it’s not too late, pray for God’s forgiveness and healing in your relationship! Walk with him and he will guide your path.
Enough said!

NOTE:
* Bible verse was paraphrased/edited from the King James version.
*Definition from www.yourdictionary.com

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I will probably Hurt a lot of feelings by writing this Note…So please if you are sensitive, THEN “STOP HERE”, cause I dont care about feelings..JUST FACTS

I have had a few interesting conversation with a lot of Nigerian females ages
21 to 27 and I have sensed something very interesting

You all believe that coming to America gives you the Right to “STOP COOKING”…YEAH, I SAID IT..

Look, its very simple your mums cooked all the food when you grew up, your mums still do the cooking..I think every female needs to know how to cook, or at lease be willing to learn How to Cook, or else its a big shame…
Any female who believes that it is not their duty to cook is not ready for marriage….Its very simple, NO Nigerian man will marry a woman that feels it is a Man’s responsibility to cook…
The females with this “NEW AGE” point of view blame it on the fact that women nowadays have to work….WOW….REALLY…..DID YOUR MUMS NOT WORK BACK IN THE DAY

I am speaking for every responsible man and not the lazy ones who wants their wives to do everything…I think for a marriage to last there has to be compromises, there are thing a man must do in his house Hold because we do not have maids in America, BUT COOKING IS NOT ONE OF THEM..

Lets think about this, any man that senses this new found Nigeria female belief in his girl will probably not marry her.
When guests come to your house, imagine the MAN, cooking and bringing out food from the kitchen to serve the guests…WOW…NOW that would be funny…
Your friends and your friends wives will laugh at you.

I personally will laugh at any friend of mine that I find does the cooking for his wife…

Like the saying goes, IF IT AINT BROKE, WHY FIX IT…THE SYSTEM WORKS, MEN should not tolerate their wives expecting them to do the cooking..

HOW MANY COOK BOOKS ARE BASED AROUND MEN IN THE KITCHEN.

Plus what kind of message are you sending your kids, when they know your wife wears the pants in the house….
Thats how it starts, cooking.. Next thing you know you as a man become the Woman.

I AM A GUY AND I KNOW HOW TO COOK, that does not mean that i will be found in the kitchen cooking for my wife… I am not trying to sound like a Sexist…
I can cook for her if she is sick, just gave birth or on special occasions, but to believe it will be an every day thing….PLEASE….THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN

Discussions

I am not going to go into the topic of Nigerian WOMEN who are brought to America, then end up leaving the Men and Taking Half of their Net Worth….thats for another DAY…

Article By Ngozi Oleleh