I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago, and somehow our discussion got into colonialism in Africa , and how each and every colonized African country just can’t seem to shake off the effects of colonialism. A lot of times I sit and I think about how things would’ve been different if we were never colonized, or better yet if the situation were reversed. Like what if we were the colonial masters. Like…
What if Africans traded Europeans as slaves to other parts of the world?
What if we occupied an area in Europe and enslaved their citizens and made them second class citizens?
What if apartheid was in Switzerland ?
What if the Greek Kingdom, French Kingdom and Spanish Empire were joined together to form a country called Mediterraia, and their national language was Hausa, while their local language was considered vernacular?
What if it was the Benin Kingdom that attacked and burned down Amsterdam to the ground, instead of the other way around?
What if the British were still begging and appealing for the Benin Kingdom to return their sculptures?
What if wearing Agbada was considered corporate attire?
What if Europeans all had a traditional wedding and “black” wedding to be considered officially married?
What if their men had to wrestle for their wives, instead of proposing with a ring?
What if European women spent a fortune on buying nappy hair cos it was more acceptable or it looked “better”?
What if there was darkening cream so that Europeans could “darken” their skin to be considered “more beautiful”?…just like we Africans bleach.
What if we all looked at them as inferior cos their skin is pale?
What if black was considered pure & good and white was evil and bad?
What if we had commercials all over Africa about saving the European child for just N10 a day?
What if Europeans were the ones always celebrating the firsts?… First white president, First European country to do this, first white woman to do x, y and z?
What if Africans took traditional religion to Europe on missionary work?
What if Europeans all had to learn Igbo or Swahili to be considered educated?
What if Europeans all had Fulani “middle” names, just like we all have Henry, George, and Sarah middle names?
What if Europeans worshiped Oduduwa and Amadioha?
What if Europeans spoke pidgin-igbo as a slang?
What if Queen Amina of Zaria was like the Queen Elizabeth Of England?
What if Europeans were the ones excited about hosting world cup for the first time in London ?
What if Europeans countries had to get their “independence” from their Zulu colonial masters?
What if Europeans all supported Eyimba FC, and shooting stars of Ibadan (football clubs) and lived and died by if they won or not?
What if Europeans fone’d their igbo cos it was cool to do so?
What if Europeans felt better about themselves if they were half-black? What if that made u socially finer?
What if eating eba and vegetable soup was considered as being classy, and eating pizza was considered local?
What if speaking English was local?
What if I was supposed to write this in Igbo for everyone to be able to read and understand?
What if they abandoned their culture to adopt ours so they can be considered as developing?
What if the 3rd world countries were in Europe ?
What if the tables were turned?
What if they complain about us all the time, and we looked down on them?
What if we were them, and they were us?
What if I never even had to think of the what ifs?
Often times, I can’t seem to not think about the what ifs. I’m not writing this because I feel we should revert back, or cos I have a solution or any answers. If I did, I’d be writing about the answers instead. Call it a moment I have every now and then, and I had to vent… but think about it though… what if?