Recently I went to a get together – the usual Nigerian affair. A mingle of long weave, suggestive smiles and glances, primping girls and predatory males. I played the game of who’s slept with whom and who’s on the hunt again. Or better yet who’s NOT slept with whom – would probably take less time. My demeanor was as usual noncommittal and slightly bored disguising my intense scrutiny. I quickly became bored with my game and turned for some idle chitchat with a reasonably attractive guy next to me. Soon I was praying my flirtatious smile was still on my lips and my eyes hadn’t glazed over. Before I gave up all hope and became a true sleepwalker a conversation sparked that drew my interest. My brain having checked out came back to attention excited to be back in action. Ok I’ll be honest I would’ve desperately clung onto any debate for life support. At first the conversation was cotton candy stuff… who’s the prettiest vocalist… blah blah… fast forward >>>> So a guy starts up a complaint about women who wait until it’s too late to settle down. The typical she should’ve given the chump from her past a chance complaint. Whatever… What really caught my interest was when he said, “All women should know their expiration date”. Eh? Expiration Date? I’d never heard of that term applied to women. I already knew where he was going with this but I listened intently anyway.
So it turns out that from the ages of 26 to 30 women expire. My 26th birthday had just passed so you can imagine my feelings after hearing that. I rubbed my forehead as if my Sell By date was stamped there. Maybe my clock was going down over my head like in one of those V8 commercials. That’s when the ridiculousness of it all hit me. Me? Expired ke? RUBBISH! I confronted the guy:
“So when [THE HECK] do men expire?”
He looked at me like I’d asked the most foolish question he’s ever heard. He smirked “We don’t expire”. He even had the nerve to try to sympathize with women… saying it’s a sad but true situation. With a sympathetic glance at all the women in the room he left leaving us to chew or more like mangle his so-called “words of wisdom”.
I’ve thought about it since that day. Grudgingly I agree with the guy somewhat. In the Nigerian community by 30 a woman who is still on her own is seen as a stigma. Even now when I tell men I’m single and have been for some time I get “What’s wrong with you” as they walk away backwards. (Shrug… that is for another post). These days’ a lot of women have different priorities from women of the past. Where in the past building a family may have been at the top of the list now a career, financial stability, etc. may top it. I know personally I am more career and goal oriented, in the process of attaining my goals a man will naturally fall into place (lol I know I may be attacked on this point). Call me Americanized but the 30s are a woman’s best years… married or not I will live it up to the fullest. Only God can tell me when I’m past due.
However I do not agree that men don’t expire. All of us know of or have seen that “old guy” at the club or at parties. Trying to hit on the younger women and just looking like a doddering fool. My friend, come out from here JARE. You have passed your delivery date!
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