We’re Kinda On & Off


I was talking to a friend today, and we were discussing relationships and potential life partners and what not, and in the process she mention something that I hear quite often about relationships – “We’ve been kinda together On & Off for 6 years.”

I have never quite understood the whole on and off theory. On one year, off another year, and that whole back and forth thing. I’m of the belief that once it’s over, then it’s a wrap, and both parties should just move on, and if for any reason they get back together then it should for good. There’s really no need for constant indecision from one or both parties. In most cases it’s one indecisive person, and another person that wont stand their ground and stop the indecisiveness of the other.

I mean how healthy can an “on and off relationship” be? My money is on “not that healthy”…actually very unhealthy. In addition to that, folks in this situation tend to lack the ability to fully focus on another (potential) relationship if there is already an “on and off” relationship going on, along side your current dating partner or toastee/toaster.

I’m personally of the opinion that once the relationship don end, and it’s done for real (not “taking a break”), then that should be it; no friendship (at the moment), no hanging out, and pretending the feelings just disappeared, no major things like “we’re friends with benefits” that can slowly drag you back into the relationship without even knowing. Once it’s done, you close that book, and buy a new one.

Now I’m not saying that I hate all my ex-girlfriend’s or that I completely forget they exist. NO. I’m just saying that I believe there needs to be some time for both parties to heal, and then eventually we can be all friends again… or at the very least, be cordial. Anything else besides that will just lead me to start doing “back together today, and break up tomorrow.” I no do that kind love abeg. The chances of me getting back with an ex right now is 5%, and we’ll leave that for the possibility of a miracle happening.

I mean I believe in everlasting enduring love through thick and thin and all that long story, but if it is infact that kind of love then there wont be all that on and off long tings. This no be romantic comedy abeg. Like Al Green said “Why people break up?… Then turn around and make up… I just cant see…” End the ting once and for all make we move on to the next book.

Anyways, that’s pretty much what I had to yarn about in these few paragraphs. I hope I’m not raining on some people’s on and off current runnings. I really mean no harm.

So what are your thoughts? Is it an indication of true everlasting love, or just a case of 2 people refusing to let go? Taaaalllk, Hayam Listening. LOL.

Photo Credits: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0988l.jpg

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  1. The 9ice reference at the end just got me laughing out loud. Too funny.

    I do agree. Off and on relationships are like dogs that keep going back to sniff at where they peed. Plus no friendship for a while so that both parties can heal is so very needed (I've learned that it doesn't mean the person hates you. They just need to heal).

    Great article.

  2. I couldnt agree more. Healing time is needed when people break up. I have done the friends with benefits thing a couple of times after break-up and it just got messy and messier and eventually dont see eye to eye with the people. all in the name of on and on. I believe breaking off with no contact is best. A hot and cold relationship cannot be healthy in anyway…even sexually sef.

  3. I read this and all I could say was GBAM. You don talk am finish. It it is unhealthy and it is chuck full with drama. As one matures, they tend to shed the excess drama and weight that comes with on and off relationships.

  4. lolll this is funny. true, on and offing can be very costly and yes, relationships are attempted a second time but if it did'nt work the second time,then "let it go." Nice way of ending like 9ice, i will use that from now on, lol. Cool article!

  5. I sooo got sucked into that friends with benefits thing… 2 weeks later I’m back in a relationship and I’m not even sure how it happened. lol. Thanks for dropping by

  6. These kinds of relationships are definitely unhealthy especially when the breaking up and getting back together part is excessive. I do feel like every relationship deserves a second chance though. If you both agree on a break and eventually you both come together to try it again then I say go for it! And if it doesn't work out… leave it alone.

    Nice write up.

  7. It is fair to give a guy or girl a second chance, but if they are still the same person that it didn't work with the first time, chances are those reasons will not just disappear into thin air. As the saying goes "insanity is defined as doing the same thing and expecting different results". That being said there will always be the exception to the rule, but then this guy or girl is most likely NOT the exception.

    Either way, I have def been in the on and off cycle before and let's just say experience is an excellent teacher.


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