I was talking to a friend today, and we were discussing relationships and potential life partners and what not, and in the process she mention something that I hear quite often about relationships – “We’ve been kinda together On & Off for 6 years.”
I have never quite understood the whole on and off theory. On one year, off another year, and that whole back and forth thing. I’m of the belief that once it’s over, then it’s a wrap, and both parties should just move on, and if for any reason they get back together then it should for good. There’s really no need for constant indecision from one or both parties. In most cases it’s one indecisive person, and another person that wont stand their ground and stop the indecisiveness of the other.
I mean how healthy can an “on and off relationship” be? My money is on “not that healthy”…actually very unhealthy. In addition to that, folks in this situation tend to lack the ability to fully focus on another (potential) relationship if there is already an “on and off” relationship going on, along side your current dating partner or toastee/toaster.
I’m personally of the opinion that once the relationship don end, and it’s done for real (not “taking a break”), then that should be it; no friendship (at the moment), no hanging out, and pretending the feelings just disappeared, no major things like “we’re friends with benefits” that can slowly drag you back into the relationship without even knowing. Once it’s done, you close that book, and buy a new one.
Now I’m not saying that I hate all my ex-girlfriend’s or that I completely forget they exist. NO. I’m just saying that I believe there needs to be some time for both parties to heal, and then eventually we can be all friends again… or at the very least, be cordial. Anything else besides that will just lead me to start doing “back together today, and break up tomorrow.” I no do that kind love abeg. The chances of me getting back with an ex right now is 5%, and we’ll leave that for the possibility of a miracle happening.
I mean I believe in everlasting enduring love through thick and thin and all that long story, but if it is infact that kind of love then there wont be all that on and off long tings. This no be romantic comedy abeg. Like Al Green said “Why people break up?… Then turn around and make up… I just cant see…” End the ting once and for all make we move on to the next book.
Anyways, that’s pretty much what I had to yarn about in these few paragraphs. I hope I’m not raining on some people’s on and off current runnings. I really mean no harm.
So what are your thoughts? Is it an indication of true everlasting love, or just a case of 2 people refusing to let go? Taaaalllk, Hayam Listening. LOL.
Photo Credits: http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0988l.jpg