Me and my best friend have known each other all our lives. Our parents are from the same village, we went to the primary school, and even though we went to different secondary schools, we stayed very close through those years, and eventually went to the same university. Think about someone you are close to that you’ve known your whole life, and that’s about how close I am to my friend. From playing video games, chasing babes, sharing excuses when we had to do runs, sharing clothes, sharing ashawos; think about what male best friends do, and we’ve done it. We were so close that our parents called us twins. I’m sure you get the point.
During our second year of college, my best friend and roommate at the time – let’s call him Chike – brought this bad ass babe to the house. I’m sorry but the babe was bad. Brown-skinned, short hair, about 5ft 5, and had the curves in all the right places. She was on point. Her name is Amaka (of course that’s not her real name), and she was unlike any babe we saw around campus. I mean FUT Akure wasn’t known to have the finest babes. Hell there weren’t known to have that many babes in general sef, seeing that it was technology university filled with boys. Anyways, I introduced myself, and excused them. Once babe enter room, that’s the clue for the roommate to cut-out, unless stated otherwise.
That was the day I met Chike’s “madam”. Their relationship blossomed and even though they had their fair share of issues, they were chugging along, and looked to be in love. I remember Chike telling me that she might be the one. Heck, I also made fun of him because all of a sudden he stopped playing 2pac, and jay z in the room, and I had to endure Boyz II Men on repeat, and Celine Dion half of the day because this boy was in love. Amaka was always in our room, and after a while we started calling her First Lady.
All was good in Love Land until one morning after pulling a TDB (Till Day Break studying), I walked into the room to see Chike with a bottle of vodka and Amaka’s picture in his hand. With a confused look on my face I asked “Chike, Ogini? Wetin happen?” He raised his head and with tears flowing uncontrollably from his eyes he said, “I don die ooo… Amaka broke up with me. Omo I no know say love dey pain like this.” Those that have had a heartbreak can probably relate. I could see the pain he felt in his eyes, and it was clear that he didn’t want to live anymore with Amaka. Amaka had left the guy for reasons I didn’t know, and as much as I felt that I was supposed to hate Amaka from here on out, I couldn’t. I didn’t know the details of why she left him so I just did what I had to do to support Chike through his pain and left it at that. One thing was clear, Chike was not the same after Amaka left him.
Fast forward to today, 7 years later. Chike is married with a son, and doing very well in Lagos, I’m in Kansas pursuing a PhD in GeoPhysics, and we’ve all put FUT Akure in our past. Heck, me and Chike joke about him crying like a baby because of “woman.” “I wonder where that useless babe is now sef”, Chike would say. I wondered the same thing sometimes, and one day at a friends graduation barbeque I saw Amaka again. Wow! She was just a beautiful as I remembered. The American weight gain program had definitely not affected her at all. She still had her great shape, and short hair that I liked. The same initial attraction I had for her when I first saw her instantly came back. I felt excited and disgusted at the same time.
We talked for a while, and caught up on things. I told her Chike was married with a son, and she told me how she has had bad luck with men ever since her break up with Chike, and how she feels that her clock was ticking and all that stuff women her age talk about often. She doesn’t live so far away from where I am doing my PhD program so we exchanged numbers to keep in touch. A couple of months have passed and we had been talking on the phone quite often. We hang out every so often on the weekends, and have started getting used to each others company. There aren’t too many Nigerians in the part of Kansas we were at so we use that as our excuse to keep hanging out. Well it was our excuse, until last night. We went to a poetry reading event, and after-wards went out dancing and eventually we had sex. Great sex. Yes, we did, and as much guilt as I felt after we did it, I can safely say that was the best sex ever. I felt like our souls were intertwined with each other, like we were meant to be.
The problem now is, she’s my best friend’s ex. Not just any ex, but the ex. The one that escaped him. His real first love. I should know better, but I choose not to. She’s everything I ever wanted in a woman. She’s smart, kind, goal-oriented, homely, can cook, speaks my language, and is just all in all a complete description of what I’ve always wanted in a wife. I feel selfish but Chike is married and should not be concerned, right? I don’t know.
What do I do? Should I continue with this? and if I do, when should I tell Chike? Or should I even tell Chike now? Am I wrong for what I’ve done or how I feel? Does this happen often? How can someone that feels so right be on the no-go list? What do you think about dating your best friend’s ex? Recently, I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one that has done this.