Shakara – A Naija Babe’s M.O.

The Look of
The Look of

“To ba b’oni sakara pade | Pasan to ma fi na e oje l’o nje | Kini won se npe o | Shakara oloje ni”. Those are the lyrics to one of my favorite Fela songs “Shakara Oloje.” Of course I’d like that song seeing that I dey feel where Fela dey come from… esp the verse about the girl doing Shakara. What is shakara some might ask? Well shakara is the act of faking the deal. Acting like you don’t want when you actually do. Pretty much fronting, as our yankee people would say. These days it’s commonly used in the chasing phase of a relationships… esp with Naija babes. Ok… enough definition… Make I enter the main thing.

Naija babes and shakara. Na wa ooo. Sometimes it’s as if dem born Naija babes, come give them “Shakara” as middle name. It’s like their standard Modus Operandi(M.O.). Except if they see Dbanj, Denzel, or someone like that, then all that flies out of the window. But for the masses like us(guys), we have to put up with the Shakara to get anywhere with a naija babe.

To my guys, have you ever tried to approach to naija babe, and she sizes you from head to toe, squeezes her face, looks at you in disgust, and then replies “Yes, Can I help you?”… Kai!! Liver failure sets in immediately… Wetin man fit do after that kind of response? It’s like all the air just escaped from your lungs. At this point, any reasonable guy would know that the babe doesn’t like him or is not feeling his P, so he’ll respect himself, say what he has to say, and try to forget that ever happened… until her friend tells you that she’s actually feeling you – “you know now… babes have to form small.”

Ok… no wahala… let’s try again. This time you decide to call her (as recommended by the friend). You’re lucky if you’re able to squeeze 2 mins of conversation from the babe. She’s even carrying on another conversation with her friend in the background and all your questions are answered with one word answers. “So What’s up now? How are you?” Response – “Fine”….”What do you do?” – “Work”… “So the wedding was great yesterday, right?” – “Yes.” You might even try to make her give you more than one word answer so you ask “So tell me about yourself?” Response -“I don’t know… What do you want to know?” … and we’re back to square one. At this point, boys don begin vex small… What’s the babe feeling like sef? You report back to her friend, and tell her that the babe shakara too much abeg. Of course her friend convinces you one more time… “The babe is feeling you man… she was just telling me about you yesterday sef. She’s just nervous that’s why she’s acting like that.”

Toh`.. no yawa. One last try. You hit the babe up again, and immediately ask her out on a date. After she’s told you how busy she is on saturday afternoon, friday night, thursday night, and saturday night, you’re finally able to get a sunday evening appointment. You go out on the date, and the babe is forming the whole time… texting someone every 10 mins, giving you the standard one word answers, not laughing at your “dry” jokes that all other babes laugh at… I mean the babe even ordered one expensive meal and only ate 2 spoons… Chei!!. Which kind forming be this one now? Nothing seems to be going well. At this point, you’re convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that the babe not only is not feeling you, but actually finds you quite disgusting for some reason. You vex for her friend for playing you, and lying to you, delete the girl’s number and continue about your life. That one don end… or has it?

One random day about 4 days later, your phone rings, and you look at the phone. The babe is actually calling you… “Ah ah… maybe it’s a mistake, or maybe she’s calling to ask for a favor.” When you answer the phone, the babe is actually talking and creating a conversation, and tells you that forgot about her abi… some even go as far as asking you out on a date sef. Na wa o. At this point, omo boyz are either not interested anymore, or they jump on the opportunity and it’s smooth sailing from then on out.

So my question to Naija babes is: Why all the shakara? It makes it difficult for guys to differentiate if the babe is fronting or she really doesn’t like us. Awon boyz… which one be your limit? I know for me after the first phone conversation, I’ll rake for the babe’s friend and end it there. Me I don’t like insult abeg. Let’s hear it… Babes, Guys, what’s your take on Shakara?


  1. Me i no fit take that rudeness on d phone nonsense…I would even start insulting u on dat first call.-"is that why ur talkin like u don't hav home training?";-"you know who i be"


      My broda, dnt worry eh, u wl find ur mate soon.

      Girls, there's no need to trip. if a guy woos u and u like him, y nt go 4 it? wen u get in2 d rship & it's nt wot u bargained 4, talk 2 ur partner(it hepls most times). if dt doesn't wrk, seek an alternative.

      Time waits 4 no one.

    • laughing mighty hard!

      bros no worry eh, u wl soon find dt special girl 4 u(nt those tripping ones). ladies pls, there's no nid 2 act. time waits 4 no one. if u like a guy, give him a chance.

    • by the time the shakara stops it cud be too late. so many girls, the shakara babe wud have to wait in line like everyboy else.

    • Omo sometimes I dey feel that way myself… I feel like I reduce my marriability value with every post I put up…LOL.

  2. LMAO!!!!!!!! bro, u r just 2 much.

    Sum girls v a principle:neva say yes immediately!

    Dt's crap! If u like a guy, give him a chance. Wen u go into d rship & it's nt wot u bargained 4, talk 2 ur partner. If dt doesn't wrk, split.

    This is nt a ques. of being cheap or easy. it's abt knwing wot u want & going 4 it.


  3. The Thing Trip Me Too….LoL That Is Why Some 9ja Guys Decide Not To Deal With All That And End Up Seeking Love/Lust Elsewhere….I Remember When I Toasted One 9ja Chick Like That…The Girl Form Tire So I Leave Am Chase Another Chick Wey Come Gel..Can U Believe The First Chick Been Come Block Me Dey Ask Me How I Fit Do That To Am..Say She Been Dey Think Say Me And Her Be Item…Omo If U C The Laugh I Begin Laugh U For Pity The Chick….LoL

  4. I still dey wait make some babes enter this thing talk their own mind…At least defend the need to do shakara small… I'd like to understand it oo. lol.

  5. It's plain simple..Naija guys are just punks. If you act like you like him the first time you meet, he just brands you as cheap. Or when you finally gree to date him, he gets comfortable and turns you into a housewife: meaning, he won't call, text or come to see u as much as he did when he was toasting you and is like"well, she'll always be there." Trust me, you guys don't know how to appreciate your women. you're only sweet when you're toasting. After toasting, you turn to Papa Ajasco

    • LOL. Chei… Naija boyz have suffered in your hands Toluwalase, but I can agree with you to a certain degree… guys tend to get comfortable… I think the same can be said for girls too. Naija babes will trade in the tight jeans for wrapper once the marital vows are read…LOL.

      I wont go as far as saying naija guys don't appreciate their women though. At least not all.

      • I know naija women have that habit or gluing themselves to a wrapper once they drop one. But naija guys don't know how to treat their girls…I mean, they can be so brutish like they are brigadier general or something. The romance sef, you have to beg them. They need to know how to make their women feel special. It's not all about iyan and egusi and her dropping the babies.

  6. My homeboy said that Shakara is one of the reason he enjoys chasing Nigerian Girls.. That Yankee Babes (akata) Make it too easy for him.. He likes the Adventure of chasing while she acts like she is not Interested, as he pesitently makes his case why she should give him a chance.. he says that with akata babes by the time you get into the room her clothes are already off but Nigerian babes you have to take off her clothes by yourself, which he seems to enjoy.. so guys some Nigerian Guys find Shakara encouraging and interesting…

    I am allergic to Shakara. I am not saying be cheap or easy, just keep it real..

    • Mr DoublePrince I agree with u… No BS abeg.. don't say they is no chance or act like u're not interested when infact u are… i mean… not saying it should come easy or anything like that but the extra forming dey tire person man….lol. At least encourage boys small now…lol.

    • Lol…this guy! That one na conji word of encouragement. Whether you take off the cloth or she takes them off by herself, the deed has been done! All this tumble and fumble doesn't help anybody. Why pick on the meat when you know you can eat the whole of it…if u like him, abeg save him and urself the headache of listening to his litany of lies piled upon lies and the sweet talking, jst agree make we hear word, ABEG!

  7. I be proper najia chic and I believe in doing SHAKARA well well…Infact I am doing it right now for this fine bobo…LOL

    Aribaba to answer ur question, naija chics wey worth something suppose do small shakara atleast to for a week or two even a month sef. That will help her know if the bobo dey serious or not. The naija girl's mentality be say, if a boy really likes u, he will be patient with you, but if he just dey toast u like every other babe, then he will back out easily. Another thing too is that we like to play hard to get, cos my personal philosophy is this: "Easy come, easy go" In other words if a guy gets u easily with no challenge, he will loose interest in you easily.

    So pls all my fellow shakara babes, don't stop doing shakara oh, make these boyz work hard cos u are worth it.


  8. lol…there are different levels of shakara sha. If you like a guy and you give him some kind of encouragement, that doesnt make you cheap or mean that you should spread your legs on the first, second, third or whatever date. Making a guy chase you around for months is some BS high school crap and stops being cute after the age of 13…and then just being plain rude to the guy when you genuinely like him and he is nothing but respectful to you makes no sense at all. If I was a guy, that woud be my cue to move on. All this "forming" must stop ladies…lol

  9. It appears that some of you men are straight up dealing with 17 year olds or something? Like on some juvenile ish. Shakara for what? If I like your ring tone and you like my ring tone then let's go ahead with it. This isn't going to be on some Naija style toasting where you ask me to be your girl and I use 2 days to 'think about it'

    • Hia!! Original Mgbeke… No one here is R.Kelly biko… no child Anyways, I will say that it's not all Naija babes that do shakara but a very good number of them do use 2 days to "think about it." Especially those in Naija or those that grew up Naija.

  10. looool! Hilarious shi! but this only happens in naija tho. With the relatively low amount of Naija girls to guys ratio in the States, I dont think alot of forming is happening jare! Shakara is good jo! it makes them do things for you that you would never get them to do in that relationship again. Some naija guys have this habit of being lax/comfy once the deal is done..mschewww!!!

  11. Intereresting piece, as one of my friends put it…..Men act like cute puppies around ladies during the chase but immediately after hooking her, they become Simba the Lion King!

    On the real though, im a born and bred naija guy but buttered in the UK and feel a lil bit of shakara is necessary but the big question is where do we draw the line? There is a thin line between reasonable/healthy shakara and plain stupid/senseless shakara.

  12. why waste your time when you know you already want the guy, save the guy some headache and youself some heart troubl

    this days, 'i 'll think about it is almost equivalent to yes'

  13. Lol, having grown up in both naija and the UK, I don't think shakara is a bad thing as far as it is used reasonably. I for once like to play along to girls that do shakara and see how long it is to break the barrier. It is like a challenge for me when a girl starts the whole shakara thing and i start looking for ways to make her think otherwise.There was even this ajebutter girl that did shakara for me for like 3 years but once i broke it down , the girl wont leave me alone. I think the bottom line is naija girls or lets say black girls generally like their man confident with a lot of balls so if you got game and you walking up to a girl, think of it as a battle and you need to win. shikena….

  14. LMAO…AWWW BLESSS…..ARIBABA i feel yuu



    LENN I agree wif you…months is too muchh….

    it not only in nigeria it happens it happens here in london…we gurls love to front..and am not denying it

  15. Why is Aribaba soooooooo obsessed wih the Nigerian woman's 'shakara' ?? I ask becase this tout seems traumatised by a string of ladies who must have turned down his sloppy tongue, shallow brain, ugly face and lean-lined pocket!

    Put a sucker on it Aribaba (typical copy-cat Nigerian writer who can never innovate but must always imitate, you could not even coin an origial name for yourself, what could be more than this sort of mediocrity?!) ; get over the rejections- that's what they are – they are not death sentences. Remember, if you are refused from joining the fold of the TYPICAL Nigerian woman, you WILL ALWAYS be welcome (Like Jim Iyke), in the wide, wild fold of the Jamaican women or better still that in the slum in which you were raised where womanhood is disregarded.

    • LMAO…….. U dey vex o

      @ I ask becase this tout seems traumatised by a string of ladies who must have turned down his sloppy tongue, shallow brain, ugly face and lean-lined pocket…..How did you know? You must know me personally… Nah wetin God give me… wetin I go do now?…lol

      • @ Aribaba (morkey face! Spy spy name), yes oh! I dey vex for poopoos like you wey no know dia sef finish!

        Ugly mosheshe dey call morkey worwor!!!

        You nor join d click wey dey fit MOVE these 'shakara' chics; as God give you worwor face, wetin you go do na oya to take your worwor face face worwor like you naaaa! After all na God sti create all the fingers for your hand, abi dem equal??

        In a nutshell, Simpleton (have you checked out the meaning now?), change the topic it's a tired one. Why is your focus on chics chics and chics??? Dis trauma women have given you is soooooo heart-wrecking; a tear for you my friend, but let go and let time!!

        • *sigh*… Ok… i wor wor and all of the above. Thank You very much…. Abeg please educate me on the meaning of simpleton… as i no go school, and I can't figure it out for myself… please…. I'll be happy if you educate the less fortunate like myself. God will repay you a thousand folds for telling me the meaning of simpleton.

          By the way, you might want to click my name at the top of page or better yet, click here – – to see all that I've written, and since you are in the teaching mode please help me count how many of my posts have been about chics since I don't think I'm educated enough to count for myself

          • Hi Simpleton;

            I seem to be making your day swell. Why do you beg for pen notice by giving me an internet link? Why do you feel so pricked by my 'ramblings'? If it sincerely causes you a sigh of exasperation, you would not bother reading it or giving me the honour of yet another reply in a few hours.

            What is the fear? What is the desperation to tell me you are a writer?? If Jim Iyke can be a music artist, any ignoramus can be anything ARIBABA (change the name please, it is an apologetic form of imitation), don't you think?

            Hey! You need to thank me today; reeeally filling your sleepy blog with responses. Keeping it alive ain't I?

            You desire pen regard? Pursue hard-core politics and like Ruben Abati, you will not need to desperately introduce your writing to people; if you find political issues too complex (as I know you would) do some real-time entertainment news. Get some lessons from E entertanment you may be able to COPY a savory style of writing from there.

            Now, as to the meaning of words, go get a dictionary, it will do you a lot of good, 'writer'.

    • @Sam…What is your problem..Someone took the time to write an article about something most Nigerian men I know often complain about. Why are you attacking the writer. This internet gangsta steez is getting annoying. Is your full name Samantha? That would explain your rant.

      Aribaba, keep up the good work.

      • @ Ray,

        Firstly, I think you should take some writing lessons too.

        Secondly, if the product of ARIBABA's time-taking is this shallow and you see enough to commend it this much, then you too swim in these waters that upset many an egg-headed Nigerian.

        Thirdly RAY (the monkey), the name is Samuel Nneji, get it 'SHITTY BORING RAY'?

        • @Samantha…LMAO…You are one miserable buffoon..Honestly, going back and forth with you would be a total waste of my time.

          It makes no sense for anyone including myself to reason or argue with a fool like you. Have a blessed one.

          • C'mon, Ignoramus. Each time you pen a note you showcase how ludicrous the content of your reasoning is.

            How much more stupid can you be?! Always finding the time to reply, saying you have no time to trade words.

            RAY, you are DULL!

            Common now, I await another reply, after just giving you another excuse to keep your lethargic blogg going. Ready now? Alright then! Fingers on your key pad . . .one, two, go!



        • Sam… mehn you get issues sha! if you like girls that front, and you like to front too then say so. The fact that other people would prefer people to be themselves is also their preference which they are entitled to.

          I do not think the topic is shallow, partly because the beginning of a relationship in many ways determine how the rest of the relationship will go, so if you start out fronting good luck. Thirdly, Jim Iyke can marry whoever he wants, if she makes him happy. I am a Nigerian girl, born, bred and buttered in Nigeria until college, and if was a Nigerian guy, I am not so sure I would date most Nigerian girls. they are amazing people, but in relationships, sometimes their drama is too much.

          And talking about relationships is NOT a shallow issue, it fundamental to the human existence, they have done psychsiatry studies on counselling for refugees and vistims of war crimes, and with everything these people had gone through, love relationship was at the top of topic that they wanted to discuss with their therapist.

          It's okay tp have an opinion, but educated people give constructive criticism, not incoherent and illogical rants and raves.

      • @ 'RAY' ,

        Get straight out of this steamy board if you can't stand the heat. Who gives an ounce if my opinion of TOUT ARIBABA 'annoys' your myopic brain??

        If you want to test a new gutter slang, dregg, do not fling it at me. At least ARIBABA manages to pass his messages across (however insulting it may come), in a fairly developing form of ENGLISH. Do not write slobby slangs here to cloak the proper spelling skills you lack so bad.

        Good luck when you buy a spelling dictionary



  16. Guys please lets stop all these mudslinging. While i dont have any problem with positive criticism, let them be positive criticisms addressing the issue at hand instead of penning down personal attacks. Thanks all.

  17. a few things to say about this post from a WOMAN's point of view….

    1. shakara can often be confused with girls knowing what they want

    2. some babes dey do shakara that DO NOT need to!….if u dont look the part, please girls, u have no right to do shakara AT ALL!

    2. naija guys think that they are all that, so thats y some need to show them…and shakara is the way to deal wit some of these boys

    3. if girls "fronting" is "shakara"…the guy version to that is what? because you boys sure like to pretend u are hott stuvvs… when some of you def arent

    4. some girls may not be doin shakara…they may truley not like you…the ones that put u on a long thing and call u back….stay away from those…

    point is: just be real…i hate when girls AND guys pretend to be someone they are not…me i dont have time for all of that rubbish…come at me correct, be on my level, know what you want, and be prepared for a challenge …dont waste my time.

  18. Sha! I know Naija babes are brought up with this whole shakara notion, that if you don't do shakara then you're cheap. And some Naija guys believe that if the girl is nice to him then she is cheap as well. About doing shakara to know if a guy really likes you… well if he's into the chase he'll chase you more so he can get you and when he gets you, then that can be the end of the relationship, because that was his only driving force – this happens to girls too, once the mystery is gone, if that was all there was then there's nothing left.

    The other problem with shakara is you never get to really know the guy and he never gets to really know you. But then because shakara takes effort (and it does because instead of having a normal conversation and moving on – you form levels and stay awake with your scheme to draw him in and other ish), you become emotionally invested in someone you don't know,. While if you just opened up, and got to know him, he'll shine or flop and then you can decide.

    There's no need to do shakara, just be nice, talk to the guy, get to know him, and you don't have to get into a relationship with him, you might become friends and stay friends. Either way less stress for both ppl.

  19. The thing about Shakara, if i should say, is actually a Nigerian problem and not just the girls. They are in a position to use "formalin" more than the guys and that's why it is very noticeable.

    Nigerians are the only people i know (maybe i have not gone round enough) that would come across their fellow nationals outside the shores of the country and size themselves up as if in competition and actually ignore them or if they are the nice ones , they might just acknowledge them with a nod of the head, some eye contact, thumbs up, a casual wave, just something to acknowledge the presence of their compatriot and i heard of one sometime ago that dismissed the notion his friend brought up about saying hello to "fellow countryman" with "Abegi, no be the same Muritala Muhammed Airport we comot from".

    However that is not to say that is what you get all the time, but in my opinion it is the general disposition of Nigerians to Nigerians.

    Forming, Shakara, Buga, call it what you may is an integral part of the Nigerian social physiological make-up if i can say that, and it is quite unfortunate.

    Ladies, you ain't getting off that easy anyway because, "una too form sef, slow down". Sometimes, it is very unnecessary and tends to give off the impression of a complex. Feeling important when you shouldn't even when you know you want it. That's why i like Wande Coal's Mushin2Mo'hits track 1 (I know you like)

    Then again, we the dudes make them feel too important. Take a look around you guys from today wherever you are, you will notice that females are always more than the males. Reminds me of that familiar age long cliche, too many fish in the river.

    I rest my case.

  20. abeg,walahi talahi bros u hit d nail 4 im head naija galz 2form sef even d one's wey neva chop 3 square meal sef go dey form mesef 4rm dat ist squeezin of face na him i dey get realllllllllllly pisseeeeeeed offfffffffffff.

  21. Well…the part about trying to free the girl and four days later, she's calling, that's sooooo true. Thing is, as soon as a girl begins to form home video or give me drama, omo i deyu discharge ni o. No time to check time. But seriously, it's crazy the way Naija girls form that is why I never try to hang out with them. Even the wugly (Wowo + Ugly) ones sef go dey form.

    These ladies have got to stop the drama, i tell you.

    • true, some babes do cause drama, but you guys are experts in causing drama AND denying that you are dramatic.

  22. Well! Shakara no be only gals stuff, in fact guys do am pass gals. Just that it is noticeable in Gals more than guys……small thing like this na shakara go follow, i dey do am wella, so i really knw hw it is. But atimes we need this shakara so much in order for you guys out here not to take us for granted, thinking we are all over you bcos u get Ego, Swag or something

  23. Different strokes for different folks. I have a friend who feels he can't go out with a girl who doesn't do shakara for him. I, on the other hand, hate shakara like the plague. I don't like playing games and if you look at me with disgust and insult me I will speak to my legs and look elsewhere. As if women weren't already difficult enough to read.


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