Relationship I: Wait to settle and You Go SETTLE



This is Mekus and I will be bringing you relationship articles

Since my friends and I are in our late twenties most of our conversations seem to be focused on relationships and marriage. Most women seem to  be ready to settle down right after their college graduation. Men on the other hand, are the complete opposite. Their rationale seems to be “why settle down and have one woman when I can have all of them?” I want to direct this post to the men,so fellows, listen up so you do not end up like this joker.

 Meet Tim, a successful 26 year old real estate investor, who has a great job, knows his culture and back ground and keeps in shape. The ladies like Tim because of the way he dresses, his attitude, and “Swag”. You can say that Oga Tim has everything going for him. Career wise he is doing extremely well compared to his age mates. He is pushing a Mercedes and just bought a nice house. Tim likes to have a good time on the weekends. He is the definition of a play-boy. Tim has a phethora of women in his life … enjoyment is his middle name. Tim meets a fine Ghanaian babe that matches his hearts desires. They date for a while and she is pressuring him to settle down. Tim is feeling the chic but he is still doing runs on the side with other babes. Tim agrees to settle down with the babe and they date for a couple years or so. It looks like all roads lead to marriage until Tim informs the babe that he needs some space and he is not ready for commitment. He goes back to his enjoyment lifestyle and picks up where he left off.

 After playing the field for a while he meets another delicious babe who he truly falls for. They date exclusive for two years and all of his guys hail them Mr. and Mrs. All the signs once again are pointing towards marriage and Tim destroying his black book. Things take a turn for the worse as Tim decides he wants some time to think. Consequently he decides he wants to be a bachelor for a couple more years. He explains to the current babe that if only they meet 2 years from now he would be ready. The babe is confused because things were so perfect to add insult to injury this babe had made a lot professional sacrificies for this joker. Tim wasn’t concerned by all theses things, he just wanted to be free. Tim has more dollars in his pocket thanks to a couple of promotions at work. So Tim is popping Champ-a-gini every weekend … After being free he comes to realization that being single is not that much fun anymore as most of his friends are married with children. He tries to holla at his Ex who is now in a committed relationship and she blows him off.

 Keep in mind that throughout all this Tim is now 36 year old man and not looking so good. He goes to any  function where he may meet potential mates. He tries the same line on every girl he meets. Most of the babes he encounters are looking at him and saying, “what is this old man trying to talk to me for? Does he not realize that I am 10 years younger than him?”. When he meets a new potential he is acts like a kid in a candy store: full of excitement and giddy. Tim realizes that he messed up when he was younger and should have settled down years ago. Now he is old, out of shape, and lonely and worst part is the recession has affected his money so he is not “balling” like he used to.

 So guys don’t be like Tim make you organize yourself early. Our problem is that we have the right to choose so we go chill and enjoy different dishes. When it is time to pick a dish most of you namas (Cow) will choose a buffet. When you finally settle down it will be with one washed up babe or one desperate babe that marriage is wetin she wan chop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is a sad situation because Tim was a catch 10 years ago but now he is that scary man that babes dey hide from at parties, weddings, and so on. So biko don’t be like Tim … If you have a good woman; wife her up so we can come wear suit for you and chop rice. I better get an invitation to your wedding.

Ladies, if you happen to run into any “Tims” be very firm with him and keep asking what are we  doing before different parties get attached. My favorite question is: “What are your Intentions with me”. Although harsh and to the point this question answers any subjectivities. Oh yea do not take the response “I don’t know”. Keep pressing till he breaks down.

This Mekus aka “ Future Tim if not careful” signing off.


  1. 1) Is there a reason that "relationships" is spelled wrong in the title?

    2) You can't say 9ja men without mentioning side runz, only very few of you guys are able to recognize a good woman for who she is, keep your stuff in your pants and be a respectable faithful man. I've known many 9ja men who lost amazing women over foolish side runz. They will live to regret it…make una continue…

    3) Most 9ja guys want perfection – good frontage plus ikebe supa in the backyard. You ignore the wifey material chics in your life, that are right in front of you, in quest of superficial stuff. Wetin ikebe go do for you? Will it be a good mother to your kids? I didn't think so…

    4) Tell this to your friends – they need to hear it !

    • Great article…

      @ obianuju, i dont totally agre with point 3…..

      if im not attracted to a woman then y must i be with her…..?

      women still dey wey get ikebe for back and water meloins for front wey be wife material so i dont see the relevance there…..

      at the end of the day im sure you are 100% sure about what you are talking about so all join….

      Just my opinion….

      Have a great day

      • @ iTalk – just saying alot of men base their decision on who to marry disproportionately on what the chic looks like. I agree with you, there absolutely needs to be chemistry and attraction but other ENDURING qualities that will stand the test of time (which ikebe and watermelon will not) should be considered strongly as well, if not equally. What happens when ikebe start to dey resemble ripe mango wey dey dangle from tree? and water melons turn into two cucumbers taking a road trip down south? What do you have to fall back on? …..yyeaaaa thought so 😉

        • lol!!!!!!

          I knew u'd reply to it…..


          I dont expect water melon to remain the same forever…

          Neither do i expect to have a six pack forver…..

          Fear of God, Understanding, communication and trust na im make am….

          U talk correct sha….

          Enjoy ur weekend….

  2. Word of Wisdom…He who has hears, let him hear. Abi in this case, he who has eyes, let him read and understand.

    This write up make sense die.
    Seeing 34 years old men talking to 21, 24, 22 years old girls. Biko, That thing don’t make no dang sense. The girls will tag you as Agbaya. All these men that think they want to work work work and make money, enjoy life to the fullest before they ‘settle down’, you are all sitting on a long thing o.

    this body you think you have will not last long, the money you are pursuing is not guaranteed. You better learn, if not, you’ll be “uncle/godfather” to all your friends children, and you don’t have a wife or kids of your own.

  3. This is so true. I know one like this today! I just dey look am dey shake my head. He has had several good women and wife materials come and go, and he is still single…

  4. I have to register just to comment on this: ”What are your Intentions with me?”

    I bet that question came up a lot at UmuIgbo Unite

  5. Dear Abi,

    I'm a real life Timmy but I stays gymed up and my money is only getting longer. Is it possible that I will still be able to snag a fresh college grad if I can maintain both at 36? Please respond.

    32yr old Picky Timmy

    • Dear Timmy,

      Staying gymed up and rich doesn't mean anything cos there will always be gymed up, rich guys who are younger and by default hotter. I dated a "gymed up", foine as hell, rich as heck older guy and there's only so far you can get with all of that. Eventually the age difference shows up at the most random times, in the most random conversations. And no girl wants to date a guy that reminds her of her Dad, Uncle or Older brother. And besides a hotter, younger, gymed up guy comes along, and he might not be as rich, but he sure as heck is a lot more fun to be around and the conversation is more natural.

  6. Nice. How about the flip side of this story. Lets talk about the 35 year old guy I met and fell in love with. I'm exactly 10 years younger than him. He is very hardworking, looks absolutely hot and actually claims not to believe in relationships. I went through his pictures and putting the timeline together, I figured he has only just started 'making money' this past year, cos he finished university late and has lived 'on his own' for just over a year. So unlike the guy in your story, some 30something year old guys have had their 'player card', aka money, handed to them at this later time in life and they feel the need to use it first before settling. You could tell from the lines on his face that in the past he had fought for girl's hearts and they had obviously dumped him for not having much. Now he believes he has arrived and wants to just be a player. I actually said this to him and he went silent. I saw a couple of pictures from his university days and girls he dated, u could tell he was one of those guys that could stand under a tree for hours waiting to profess love for some chic, but now with his BMW he doesn't need that stress anylonger. All I'm saying is that with men the juice only gets sweeter with age as long as his 'playa card', aka wealth, is still fresh!

  7. as much as I agree with what the writer dey yarn, and I'm sure he means good, most men know this already and chose to do otherwise… Like someone said "the devil knows the way to get to heaven, but will he?"

    I do however agree that sometimes women allow these things to happen… a man will only do what you allow him do.

    Nice write up

  8. yardie yardie ya ha! this article would have made more sense if you'd said our main character was 40 years or so… my uncle is 38 and wasn't willing to settle until last month…to a 24 year old.

    he was and is still drop dead gorgeous.

    he's a doctor, and ladies, we all know that kinda career doesn't end too quickly.

    @writer, african men wish to be like Tim… and ladies, don't lie, y'all know if u met 'Tim' it don't matter if he's 36 or 40, you'd fall all over him.

    @writer, i think i get the general idea of the article but you should change a couple of things, e.g he shouldn't have a job… maybe ur article would be more believable then:)

  9. I once tried to date such a guy, meeehn! i was bored to death, i found my way oh…..i just didnt know what to talk to him about, and he was acting all old on me, telling me that i couldnt wear jeans all the time, and he called me the most old fasioned pet names, infact he tried so hard to come down to my level, it was just pathetic. Now i`m engaged to a cutie who is just 6yrs older, and i`m having a blast with him. 🙂


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