On Twitter this morning I found a retweet by someone I’m following that said: “@StephenAtHome: Valentine’s Day is almost here! Ladies, get your hopes up! Fellas, get your apologies ready!” Which I found to be funny, and yet sadly true. If you come across or create anymore, please Cc me – @MsStJohn.
And after reading @StephenAtHome’s optimistic tweet, that’s when I thought:
I’m sick and tired of Valentine’s. The red and white, the pre planned fight, the man frantically searching for an escape. Why? All because no one can live up to the man in the cape. You know – the man in the cape.
That “superhero” who goes out to save the corporate day, yet still returns with the perfect bouquet of roses and Swarovski diamonds that sparkle like a strobe light at an A-list club. That perfect man that the mind of a woman cooks up, then reality fries that dream to a crisp and she ends up with some blackened burnt version that leaves that sour taste of failure just behind her perfectly pouted lips.
What is the remedy to this reality? Well it’s quite simple really: Love should be shown every day, in any positive legal way your personality chooses to portray. It should not be pencilled into a calendar or dictated as a “today’s the day” sort of thing. It should not be a situation one is pressured into, or the price a man pays for some… It should be a natural occurrence in the lives of two people who truly care about each other. It shouldn’t be worth its weight in gold, iPad, Mac Book Pro, Brazillian hair, or airfare to Ghana. It should not be ascribed a monetary value, or be measured by how many roses and posies are waiting for you at work on Monday. Because the reality is – the size of the cake, the number of carats, the corny cards do not show how much he loves you at all. That’s not where the emotions lie. Emphasis on lie because the truth lies in the motive, and the public and private displays of Valentine affection may simple be motivated by a desire to stay out the doghouse and dwell in the love den that’s expected to come at the end of a successful Valentine’s Day.
And when it’s not – when that mandate is forgot – that’s when the wahala starts. When the affection- deprived women come with their ridiculous expectations and lists of all the gifts they deserve to receive, for all the days of neglect they expect a reprieve. And that miracle date – Feb 14th, is the day upon which their hopes are pinned and their hearts are set. Yet, one day cannot make up for every other day and so invariably things may, and probably will go wrong.
Many ingredients are needed for the perfect Valentine’s Day. Expectations are divided along gender lines – with A for the females and B and beyond for the men. These ingredients include:
A – A man willing and able to accept the title: it shouldn’t be assumed that just because he’s ruffled your sheets or used your shower he considers you his Valentine.
B – Beaucoup Bread to afford everything on the list your partner has composed in their head.
C – Cold Hard Cash, because “B” won’t be enough to buy all that she expects from you o. Blackberry Bold 4 abi 5 alone will consume the cash from “B.”
D – Divination and Divine Intervention to execute the romantic Valentine’s that DSTV has transmitted into your home, and will now be used as comparison to your own presents and presentation.
E – Etcetera! Because no matter what you do, chances are it won’t be enough.
So – Happy Valentine’s! I’m not trying to put Cupid in a chokehold or begrudge the lovers of a long weekend of affection and gift giving, I’m merely pointing out – it’s not by force. And Valentine’s Day is not the be all or end all of a relationship. Hell, for most it’s not even your anniversary. So whether you buy into it or not, remember that love cannot be bought and feelings cannot be taught or trained to express themselves on certain days. <3
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