It is with great pleasure to writing you, the prevalent tone amongst the female folk for so long now has placed my male folk in your black book. Even some females claim that ALL men are dogs with mean and nasty attitudes. They overwhelmingly convince their peers to accept their false perceptions as irrefutable truths and since then I realize there is a lot amiss. I have several descriptions you and your friends have labeled us with, some as ridiculous as ‘’If you see a guy and a snake, Abeg my sister, kill the bros before you kill the snake”. Are we really that devious? But I honestly know some guys actually deserve whatever pain inflicted on them. Let me hit the nail on the head regarding my reason to writing you this letter.
To start with, we are all Work In Progress (W.I.P), we are not perfect, so I am not giving you sets of rules and regulations to follow because that way I will be setting a double standard .Unless you identify with your anti social persona you will continue to lie to yourself and pull these convenient excuses out of the ether to JUSTIFY or to veil your flaws. You may find ANOTHER person to repeat your pathological sociopathy with and hopefully get lucky that you will prevail in getting that person to accept you JUST the way you are without YOU having to change you.We will for so long be termed ”heartless and cruel” as long as you never come to terms with these:
- With the avalanche of modern fashion and appearance boosters such as the fake weaves, nails and even resurrected booty and possibly boobs, we have now become myopic and it has really become difficult for us to discern the wheats from the tares but when we chat you up we can easily grade you. So, believe me, don’t overstress yourself with those cover girl foundations and body shapers, it is more than the braids, its brain we looking for.
- I love confidence, so exhume the self esteem you have and believe me that is your greatest selling point.(Sorry to disappoint you, it is not the remy human hair, we love ladies that exhale self confidence)
- I want you to argue and have your feet to the ground on what you believe, I really want us to talk but often time all you do is yell. No dude wants to come home to battle verbal matches, resentment, ridicule or pointless debate .So watch out, we looking out for a wife and helpmate not another Mom.
- Sorry to hurt you but you don’t need to dress and flirt like a stripper for me to decide if I might actually take you on a date or get your cell phone number. Your attitude and mannerism can easily tell if my mama needs you as a guest in her home soon or we make it KELE KELE LOVE.
- For a shocker, if you say no to sex and I see you as the marriage material I long for, I will wait as long as you won’t be celibate on the wedding night.
- Stop giving us EVERYTHING just because we throw pretty words at you. Make us PROVE it to you – you want to be the WIFE not a baby mama, wifey or Shorty.
- We read between the lines- talk with compassion, empathy and show some love to other people especially your subordinates; we want good role models for our kids.
- You don’t need to talk profanity and creep in and out of clubs to nail him,believe me we ain’t gonna take our marriage applications to the disco.What starts in the club ends after 5.00am.Sorry relocate your moves so you can catch us up where we are in the favorable state of mind.
- Don’t let all your weekends be with PEOPLE magazine and gossips clutched around, get in tuned with politics, foreign affairs and rather then spend the whole day with the bottle of nail polish, watch sport, play against me some video game, believe me that turn us on cos some versatility spice it up.
- Please don’t look for old luggage at the baggage claim, you can’t find it there.Allow yourself time to heal by taking time out to reflect & decompress because transferring that pain to another person only compounds your pain because that person didn’t deserve your venting , malicious abuse & vindication for your PREVIOUS relationship and we will retaliate or reject you ,so once again you’re left with disappointment.Let your ex relationships be things of the former. (Though we might not complain about it but seriously we don’t want to hear about him).
Finally, please hang up the pity party, so come off it. Really!!!Raise your STANDARDS. A man will do what you allow and please have some restraints, end relationships where your dignity is being eroded on and quit having to secure him through sex and playing his sexual doll. When will you Stop making LIFE or DEATH (HIV/AIDS) decisions based on emotions? Who would want to marry and have a family with someone who doesn’t take responsibility for her own life??Truly who does that??
Till we talk again.
The brother who really cares and also claims to be a W.I.P
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