Is It Really Worth It?


While heading home in traffic yesterday with no one but The Beat 99.9 fm to keep me company, I decided to relax and enjoy the cool music that evening not exactly bothered about when I’ll get home. Then a very popular song comes up, one of your favorites I presume, “One Naira by MI ft Waje”. I find that song sooo annoying. Certainly not because of the artistes who sang it because I think I am M.I’s biggest fan and the lyrics are fantastic in dreamland. But I find these same lyrics quite misleading. You are free to disagree o but I will give you my reasons.

In the past most couples started out really broke with the woman being as loving and supportive as ever. Rendering all kinds of help whenever the man needed it. Help such as pushing the beetle whenever it broke down or ran out of fuel(which could have been like everyday), patching up his one-nation shirt that was worn to every job interview and presentation, struggling to cook a 2000 naira pot of soup with just 500naira etc (ask your grandparents for more examples).After all this and the man finally becomes a bigz boy, and the beetle is replaced by a Phantom….ok …ok maybe a Benz(I don’t know if there were phantoms then) he will take good care of the woman who took care and stood by him through thick and thin. But that certainly isn’t the case these days. Most men seem to forget the past. After pushing the beetle or trekking with him, you may not sit in the Phantom when it arrives o. Back in school, I was always seen as materialistic by all my friends whenever I said things like this and I repeat the same question again “IS IT WORTH IT?” Guys these days ,enhh….una eye too chook,some of you are quick to forget how it all started and who was there with you during those low times when you were still a “suffer-head”. Well, that impression they had of me,changed sooner than I thought when “IT” eventually happened to one of them…I’ll tell you her story.

Ada (not her real name of course) was 27 at that time and in her 2nd year in school. She was dating Abbey 32 who was not a graduate, didn’t have a hut to call his own, didn’t have a car (that can be excused),in fact no shishi at all to his name.(don’t get me wrong, not everyone has to be a millionaire) Abbey wasn’t just “it”(I’m sure you understand that language)Ada didn’t notice all this one o,why…because*whether na one naira, whether na one million, baby you got me, Abbey has got her*(M.I and Waje!! Take your time o!).As I was saying before I started singing, he depended on Ada for everything including toothpaste to brush his ugly teeth.Ada was always broke and we always had to lend her money every week because of Abbey. She cooked a pot of soup or stew for Abbey every week with OUR MONEY!

Whenever I tried talking about this, she accused me of being too materialistic and self-centered. She said I had never been in love before so I wouldn’t understand what they shared…I said “ok o…I hear”. She said she believed in him and he had prospects….before nko…who no get prospect? mtsheeeeew. Abbey was pressing her mumu button very well, just like the professional he was. I didn’t want to spoil our friendship so I and the other girls formed the “siddon look committee”. When I finally accepted that Ada had exchanged her brain for that of a goat was when she withdrew all the money her late father left her to complete her university education, and gave it to Abbey for a new business he wanted to go into, meaning she had given up the two years she had left in school or maybe she felt Abbey would pay her back.Dont forget I said she was 27 not 22. I died10 times when I heard.

I was so sad because I knew this wouldn’t end well. To cut a long story short, Abbey shamed us sha, He made it BIG and I mean BIG. He began painting Lagos Red. Legedez benz became a Prado (big car then now) .Ada’s slogan became “I told you Abbey will make it”.I began to look like a bad bele friend.But sooner than i thought  (not that it made me happy)he stopped visiting and Adas excuse was that his business made him travel a lot , he stopped calling too and Ada,ever ready with excuses for Abbey said  he attended a lot of meetings and didn’t want to be distracted .After a while these developments and silent treatment began to bother her and she  thought all wasnt well with him . She couldn’t go looking for him because she no longer knew where he stayed.One morning Ada received the koko.It came via sms, it read and I quote”Ada (she used to be called sweetness before o), thanks for all your help, you were God sent. I’m not sure we can go on with this relationship any more…….(don’t open your mouth yet until you read the next words)……we are not of the same standard and I’m not sure you will fit in. I have moved on pls do the same. Abbey.

Ada didn’t react she just smiled and said shit happens. I thought she had accepted her fate and decided to move on with her life. The next morning on my way to school to finish my clearance, I noticed Ada looked odd in bed. She was still with us in hostel despite the fact that she wasn’t really a student anymore. She was always an early bird even if she wasn’t going anywhere. I decided to wake her up, I shook Ada, poured water on her but she didn’t move. That’s when I screamed my lungs out.I don’t want to recount these details.Well, we got to the hospital and the doctor said she had taken an overdose of valium and aspirin, more than her body could handle and all we could do was pray she snaps back to consciousness. If long prayer was the way to heaven, I for don reach since begin build mansion there. Her life hung in the balance because of one naira love. Anyway, she survived but she was never the same again. She became a crackhead.she was on every substance one could think of tobacco, weed, coke sometimes. I am not trying to discourage anyone o and he doesn’t have to be a millionaire either but please don’t let emotions cloud your reasoning.In other words “GIVE YOURSELF BRAIN”Most of the time these love songs are just what they are “songs”( Aggressive fans pls take note,i don’t have any particular song in mind).Personally, I’m not all about the money but I can’t invest like that.

So, I ask again “IS IT REALLY WORTH IT”? Share your thoughts.

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  1. “siddon look committee” HAHAHAHAHHAAHA. LMAO. Very sad story but a vast amount of people go through this situation, both male and female.

  2. hmm. Sad story indeed. I guess dat is her fate. I am not in support of giving up your life for a man but i once did it and that has bin the greatest blessing upon my life. I did same thing for my boyfriend, now husband and it worked well. Unlike your friend's bf, my husband did not forget me and made sure to give me all the best things i want in life. He bought me cars, houses all in my name. He is currently sponsoring my masters here in the USA. And to top that up, he is the most loving, god-fearing man ever. Am not saying all this to boast, rather to emphasize the point that some men are really worth the sacrifices even though its too much of a risk to take. All in all, lets let God direct our footsteps and protect us from evil in the form of some men. My warmest regards to ur friend. Its well.

  3. It just happened to me too, he told me i wasn't his type, i'm his play thing, and that's why we never go out in the public together. All because i said he should stop calling his married female friends late at night. He started saying those things to me. He just graduated law school but before then I stuck with him and gave him the little i had so we could at least eat well. But now, i'm no more on his level. Never in my like will my 1 cent (as in the case of america) go to ANY MAN, same goes for my support, time, energy and faithfulness. NEVER AGAIN, its just not worth it. Instead i ll work on improving myself and getting that master / doctorate degree and NO MAN will dare open his stinking mouth to say i'm not in his level.

  4. Thats unfair.hw could a guy do such a thing…despite all d extra miles d lady went thru coz of him.well…shit happenz..i pray d lady find sumone sweet 2 take care of her 2 prove 2 her dat we guys r nt d same

  5. thank you all for taking time out to read my little story
    @slimfish thanks for your prayer for my friend
    @don cuzo stories like this dont seem real except you are the one at the receiving end,thank ur stars ur not its not a pleasant experience.
    @lady i'm glad therez someone here who can attest to the fact that these things happen.your story is indeed sad too,so sorry bout that.but i am glad you have chosen to build up yourself and stay strong.i wish my friend did the same.
    @bolatito count urself as one of the lucky few.i pray your happiness lasts forever
    @markky i'd like to hear a guys side
    @yes o…na so we siddon look,thanks for reading

  6. Same thing happened to me. I went above and beyond for my ex boyfriend but as soon as he became financially stable and started living the "good life", he fell out of love. Only difference between your friend and i is that i was able to move on immediately. Dude broke up with me during finals in my last semester of nursing school. I'm of the belief that success is the best revenge, so even though i was obviously hurt, i forced myself to snap out of it. I refuse to be bitter and recount everything i did for him and how he repaid me evil for my good. Have i learnt my lesson though? Ah definitely! He even started calling me recently to make peace, that he doesn't want us to be enemies. After i'm over it already

  7. Such a sad story to happen to your friend. Quite shocking but dont generalize on all men cos of that. NOt all guys are like that. I put in my two cents to my then-boyfriend-now-husband and we are still very happily married. He never forgot and still treats me like I am the best thing that happened to him. dont generalize so you dont overlook your blessings. Just use your brains and if it doesnt look right, it probably is not right
    I am sure your friend had the red flags but ignored them all. Some men are ugly inside and are horrible but remember that its not all of them.

  8. An unfortunate story..But not all guys are like Abbey, i know lots of friends who never forget the lady who was there when the going was tough..Also realize that there are some girls who would stand by you [literally] when things are tough but only to remind you at every chance they get of how much of a failure you are.She sits in the beetle and curses you out each time it breaks down,she insults your generation while battling with the pot of 500 naira soup and compares you with all her friends boyfriends who are better off..Although she doesn't leave,she is most probably looking for greener pastures..She reminds you all day of how lucky you are to have her..Then the heavens smile upon you with good fortunes and she now feels you owe your life to her….Yes she was there but more of a curse than a blessing…POINT IS,,its not just being there that matters when things are rough but being there and making a positive difference..

  9. Woow sounds lyk one nigerian movie I watched,..this is not worth it,.at all,.so painfull and the guy would have a peace of mind ???? Woow life sha

  10. she should take heart shit happen.move on wit ur life,something better is coming 4 her but it every painful experience.lagoon


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