Last week I hit on a couple of issues women face in finding and keeping a man, starting with the 3 Deadly mistakes women make with men without ever realizing it… Read up here to catch up.
Do you sometimes wonder why your ex left you to/and marry someone else? Was it that you weren’t ‘good enough for marriage’? Or why this guy you thought you were getting ‘there’ with,had great sex with, and all what not,suddenly withdraws and the next time you see him in the club or some public place,he’s with an ‘oshere’ who’s not half as HAWT as you are? We are africans,and I believe strongly as do many of us too in DESTINY and the ‘maybe he wasn’t meant for me factor’ bt at the same time many ladies make the mistake of thinking if they can attract a man SEXUALLY then they can attract him EMOTIONALLY as well. We too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. Don’t get me wrong,great sex is key! But if you have to do a guy,let it be because you wanna do it,don’t give it to him in the hopes for a relationship,pls don’t hang it on him like he has to pay you back for giving yourself to him ‘by dating you’. After all,you enjoyed it too! I know,it sounds like we have to do all the work,yeah? Very annoying,but in reality,in africa especially,its really a man’s world! We get dumped the easiest!
Men have the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things,infact way better than our own evaluation and because of their twisted mindset,it requires some special set of easy skills to mold these two things together in a man’s mind… and keep them connected.
The woman who knows how to satisfy a man emotionally,give great company,mentally confident and holds her own even while other women are setting the ‘sexual traps’ always gets him!
A friend of mine said to me, ‘Nyore,there’s no such thing as MR. RIGHT …Well prince charming did try to find cinderella after all….’ Attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS to want to be with a man for attraction alone or because of what he has materially! No woman wants to suffer,but you need to shine your eye well with regards to other aspects too! When young ladies complain to me saying there are no men,’when will my own come?’ ,’my friends are all getting married’ etc…its sad really because we already have this built up model of how and what our Mr RIGHT should be like even me too! But there are young,PROSPECTIVE men around you,’toasting’ you,asking you to dinner and the rest,open your heart,be nice to everyone who crosses your path and you just may never know! As they say in the Niger Delta…’make we no go use husband take do boyfriend and vice versa’ .When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts… leading us to overlook many faults, If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why!
Make sure you size a guy up and spot the littlest “warning signs” of a future bad relationship/marriage FAST and run as fast as your legs can carry you! … so you don’t waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn’t right for you… or who will leave you heartbroken.Most of us see these signs,and you know it but we still play along,most times because we think we can change the man and mould him to our taste,sometimes the ‘how I for do syndrome’ too is a cause ..’Make e no be like say I no get boyfriend’ or ‘he dey pay the bills’ etc …there a lot of personal reasons why we hang on to abusive relationships/unprofitable relationships/’NFA(No Future Ambition) relationships… Abi,you never taya to mark register for men calender? Then you need to nip any ‘unholy relationship’ right now in the bud!
You need to captivate a man with your sharp wits and your kind heart and not just ”being wanted around for SEX’
Always remember that every great guy has options,too many beautiful and mentally sound women around,so if u wanna keep him,give him what no one else can! I’ll let u decide on what that would be all by yourself!
Have a great weekend! Bless!