One of the things I noticed while I was in Nigeria was the level of moral decadence and the disrespect of the marriage institution and any kind of commitment. I know some people like to disregard bf/gf commitments with statements like “until there is a ring on the finger” blah blah blah. Na so? If a man/woman can’t even be faithful while dating, isn’t it obvious that marriage is not gonna cure them of roving-itis? A ni my eyes saw things in naija, ko ti e funny.
I went to this joint in Ikeja called La Cachette with some of my friends. While we were leaving, I noticed some guy outside rubbing and kissing up on some chick. Immediately I saw his face, I recognized him, but I just couldn’t remember where I knew him from. When he saw me I could tell he knew who I was but he chose to ignore me. So as I walked past him and his tenderoni, a light bulb went off in my head and I turned around and shouted “Victory Temple” at him. “You go to my church” I said to him. And in my head I finished the sentence with “…and you are married with kids”. For shame! He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Foolish somebody. All of a sudden the mumu started saying “mo gbe o, o ma so fun iyawo mi”. I don’t think I have ever said 2 words to his wife talk less telling her she is married to a ho. I hope for her sake, he used protection.
Imagine all these useless men going to naija to go and collect STDs loju dozen and coming home to infect their unsuspecting wives. Is this what married life is about? One of my male friends who also happens to be married told me point blank “I came to naija to do obo”. For my non Yoruba speaking folks, that basically means “I came to naija to fuck”. Simple and short. I’m like what kind of devilry is this? Your wife is in the states with your son and you are here in Lagos screwing around. I thought he was joking, until he came to meet us at a joint with his girlfriend. As in HIS GIRLFRIEND! A married man with a girlfriend. I don’t get it. So is this the marriage folks keep yapping about? I am telling you our generation is doomed! Apparently fidelity is a luxury in a marriage and not a requirement. Eyin ladies if you got ears better listen. At this point its only a dummy that will let her man go to naija alone. Aside from the men having a variety of women to choose from, all it takes is one encounter and they have used jazz to steal your man. Some of those girls in naija aint playing. Abi what else will make a man leave his wife and 3 kids in yankee and shack up with some girl in naija? Ko ki n she oju lasan. Again, this is how these alakoba okunrin will just come and dagbaru your life. All because you want to yansh puxy.
I told my friend’s dad about the guy from my church and his tenderoni and he was like “enh hen? He went to naija to relax. He went to relieve all the stress of yankee”. His wife nko? The one taking care of his kids? Abi she doesn’t deserve some relaxation? Aiye ti baje se. At this point I don’t even expect fidelity from any guy I choose to date which is a sad reality. I know for a fact if my husband cheats on me, I will harm him. So why derail my own life because some idiot couldn’t keep it in his pants? I can’t do it. If horny-ness enters the equation, there are ways to handle that. I do not have to be saddled with some miserable whore all in the name of being married. The saddest part is these are the scenarios me I witnessed because I have heard even worse stories from other girls. At this point I’m gonna have to say deuces to marriage until further notice.