OpenBook is our column where readers can send in situations and stories that they need advice on. We open it up to the general public no matter how outlandish or crazy for opinions and advice. If you have any situations you or someone you know might want to share or seek advice on please send email it to firstname.lastname@example.org. We keep all stories anonymous.
I’m a 25 year old man and I have been with my girlfriend now for about 2 years now, and I can comfortably say I love her. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, and she treats me very well. She supports me, take care of me, we vibe very well, and have great sexual chemistry. We are both on the path of getting married in the next couple of years, and all seems to be going good.
Here is my problem. Recently I’ve had some kind of epiphany about going celibate. Not because I’m necessarily the most religious person in the world, or because the sex is boring, but I feel like I should take a personal challenge to be celibate for the next 6 months and possibly longer or till marriage. I’ve been too addicted to sex all my life that I feel like a lot of my relationships have been based initially on the sex before anything else, and I want to be sure that I can still love my girlfriend the same way without sex before I get married. I might be crazy but I don’t want to feel like I won’t love my [future] wife without sex. In other words, I want my relationship to be much more than just the sex. I have pretty much made my decision to go celibate but I’m not sure how to go about communicating this to her, and I’m scared of how she’ll take it. I joked about it once and the response I got was “abegooo… don’t try that rubbish.” She’s also a very sensual person and craves it as much as I do, so I know she might not buy into it initially, so my questions here are. How do I go about telling her? Do you think she’ll support me through it? Will she leave or worse cheat on me during that period? What do you think you’d do if your partner approached you with the same thing? I’m really concerned and would like to know what to expect before I embark on this.
If you’ve had a similar experience I’d love to hear about it, and those that haven’t I’d love to hear any words of advice. Anything will help, no matter how blunt.