I have secretly read your blog for a while now and never thought I would be writing you. But I need input and loved your response when you responded to the letter from the girl who wanted to tell her friend she was marrying the wrong guy. Great job on the blog, by the way. One of my best friends recently got engaged and we (all of us in our group of friends) are genuinely happy for her. She’s been showing off the ring so much, on all social media…its on Twitter, Facebook, BB, Whats App, Instagram, etc. It’s a nice ring but here’s the thing… we all know it’s not a real diamond. But she thinks it is because she’s been raving on social media about how big and beautiful it is and how her hubby did well. A couple of people have told me, “ah why don’t you tell your friend that her man is deceiving her and save her this embarrassment?” I’m afraid it has become the topic on the grapevine and people are laughing behind her back. Should we tell her the truth or shut our traps?
Thank you for writing Nwavic at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ve been in your place before. And by being in your place, I mean, noticing something that is none of my business. And what did I do? I told the truth believing that I was doing so for the sake of a friendship or what “I thought was one”. And what did it cost me? A friendship, or rather what “used to be one” (you get the point). Consequently, permit me to be a bit brash here.
I’ve learned to look straight and keep looking straight, except my attention is diverted. And how can my attention be diverted? If I am asked! I’ll say it one more time…when you notice something that is none of your business, you pay it no mind EXCEPT when, and only when, you are asked “directly”.
So, here’s my short answer…A girl’s engagement ring is very sensitive to her. Unless your friend says to you, “Hey C, do you think my ring is a real diamond?”, you should shut your trap. And even if she asks, don’t immediately shout “It’s fake!” Instead, you should say you can’t be sure and advise her to check with a diamond retailer/specialist, seeing as though you’re not one. Because in the long term, in this case, the value of giving unsolicited advise is 0. This is different from the letter from the girl who wanted to tell her friend she was marrying the wrong guy because your friend is already engaged and the size of the ring is of no consequence on the quality of her future marriage. It’s the symbolism of the ring and her happiness that matter.
Oh, and about the people telling you about “your” friend, why are you entertaining others talking about “your” friend? When next someone mentions it to you say, “I’m not a diamond specialist, neither are you. And if it’s bothering you so much, you should tell her yourself”.
Best of Luck!
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