I was listening to a radio station yesterday,when a guy called the OAP on air to plead with him to help him call his girlfriend and break up with her on his behalf. While this is hilarious, it brings up a real question; Is there ever a proper way to end a relationship?
So, you have searched your soul hopefully and decided that this person and this relationship are not working out for you. You have decided to move on. To continue would be cruel to both of you, nobody wants to find out later that someone did not want to be with him or her, but was afraid to say goodbye. Your next step is to take a deep breath and follow a plan that allows both of you to exit with dignity and hopefully some closure.
As you make your plan on when, how and where to say goodbye, be conscious of the fact that at one time there was something you thought
was great about this person. If that does not work for you, ask yourself how you would want to be treated if your girlfriend were saying goodbye to you.
This cannot be stressed enough ”BREAK UP IN PERSON‘.’ IM, BBM, email, a social network like twitter or any other modern technology is
unacceptable. Have the courtesy to say goodbye face to face in a place where you will have each others undivided attention and do not turn
it into a shouting match.
Be honest as to why you are leaving, but don’t be cruel and recite everything this person ever did to get on your nerves, but do give the main reasons. Listing the faults of your soon-to-be ex will only add insult to injury and more than likely lead to a shouting match. Don’t say ”I just need a break,” “It’s not you – it’s me.” when you know very well you are not coming back. Phrases like these will only create false hope for the other person who will then be kept waiting for your return. If you do not want to be friends with your former mate, then do not lead him or her to believe you will be. On the flip side, if you are the one wanting to remain friends, remember that your ex may not be able to return the sentiment and you need to respect this person’s choice.
Now that you have made it clear that the relationship is over, take into consideration that while you have known you are leaving, this is fresh
information to the guy or girl sitting opposite you. Your now ex may be wondering if he or she heard you right. Give this person some time to digest the information and to ask questions within reason. Again, remember that you do not want this to turn into a shouting match.
After some weeks have passed, your mind might drift to your ex because you’re feeling lonely and bored, or worse, you might have been drinking. You may then convince yourself that you should call. Pause! Count to one hundred, think about why you are really calling and remind yourself that the reasons or issues that caused you to leave still exist. Most of all, remember the heartache you caused by your earlier declaration. Unless you can say, “I was wrong … I want you back ” then you must leave that person alone to heal and move forward with his or her life.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but hopefully the above will prove to be helpful if you are ever faced with the task. Also doesn’t matter who asked for a break up, you should give yourself time before jumping into another relationship. Hang out with friends, read some good books or get to that list of to-do that you have been putting off.
Being alone does not mean being lonely and a little time spent just on yourself will give you a clearer view of the new person you want to have in your sights.
By Damilola Okejide (@Ms_Dharmilorlla)
Image Credits: http://baucemag.com