Top 8 Nollywood No No’s

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Nollywood

 

Nollywood

 

 

It’s an industry that has produced your favorite films like “Osuofia”, “Beyonce”, and “Blackberry Babes” and has also introduced actors/actresses like Genevieve Nnaji, Jim Iyke, and “Mr. Ibu” who have each gone on to stardom.  Nollywood, a movie making industry out of Nigeria that because of its poor quality films and overly dramatic storylines, may be one of your guilty pleasures, an occasional result of boredom, or even a pastime.  The following list includes the most annoying, ridiculous, and repeated occurrences in Nollywood movies:

8.  Microphone Interferences

Since when is it okay for random pieces of equipment to make appearances in the scene?  Unexpected glimpses of one big, over-sized, fuzzy microphone somehow gets past the editing process and onto the racks for consumers.  If things get really careless, you will hear disruptive sounds of behind the scene crew members jamming into objects on set .  *Sigh

7. Titles

Who in the world comes up with these nonsense, rubbish titles? “Twins of Swagger” and “Journey of Tears” to name a few.  How can tears have a journey? Which kind rubbish is that na? (Exucse me, the frustration begin start.)

6. Olu Jacobs

Does this guy know how to play any other role besides King?  Every single one of his movies Olu Jacobs sits on a throne, mediating some kind of village dispute.  Abeg, he needs a new role.  If not king, gateman.

 5. One Song as the Soundtrack

From beginning to end, one tired woman dulls you with this her useless howling noise throughout the film.  Her voice will just be buzzing anyhow, anytime no matter if it belongs in the scene or not.  You will hear the same theme music when someone looks in the mirror to comb their hair, after someone gets killed, and of course when the credits come on.

4. Gun Action

How is it physically possible for blood to reach person when bullet no even reach?  In one film, a guy was shot and killed but his tomato ketchup colored blood covered his shirt before the bullet even left the gun.  ABEG! Do Better.

3. “Fine Fine Babes”

If the role is to play one lepa toh bad, or guy magnet vixen, why must the hair weaves and wigs be “imported” from a local Nigerian market?  Instead of advancing their hair, they remain with lace front wig.

2. Part 1,904, 345, 569

Nollywood films have given the word “Sequel,” a whole new meaning.  Just when you thought “Scary Movie,”  “Saw,” and “The Fast and Furious” was overdone, Naija movies insist on creating movies from part 1-16.  While the titles may change, the story continues, continues, and continues.

1. The Character From “Abroad”

Apparently, Nollywood films have this useless obsession with using a character who has gone abroad, usually to America or Europe and has returned back home with this new found American swag, adding “Nigga” “Man” and “Yo” after every sentence. Their attempt at masking their thick Nigerian accents is purely comical along with their extra-large clothing and obnoxiously fake jewelry.  Lastly, enough is enough with these so-called American scenes shot in Lagos.  Who the heck you fooling?

 Photo Credit: http://www.cassavarepublic.biz/blog/2012/07/26/adapting-literature-for-nollywood/

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