You see a woman you like, not the friendly kind of like but the ‘hello-i-want-to-share-my-life-with-you‘ kind of like. You approach this woman and everything appears to be going smooth, one thing leads to another, stuff you can not control and gbam! You are in the friend-zone. But how did you get there? Well friend, this is one question I want to address but before we go further, let us explain what the term ‘friend-zone’ means to our brothers who have no idea what it means. A certain picture I saw some time ago, I think, explains the term, vividly.
“A friend-zone is a state where she sees you as a non-sexual entity, something like her brother or a lamp.”
I believe this definition is quite explanatory and if you still don’t understand what a friend-zone is after reading that simple and short narration, I would say, with utmost humility and shock, “you need deliverance.” No offense sha.
Moving on, I did say I would try and explain to you in the simplest of language, why men get into one of men’s most dreaded zones- the friend-zone.
Every time I write about relationships and women, there is one point I keep hitting on- Women are wired emotionally, they act on how they feel. This point hugely contributes to the reason why u are in the friend-zone. It is like this, a woman automatically likes you when you make her feel good but it is how you make her feel good that determines whether you would be friend-zoned or not.
Women are sensitive, it is their talent, they can perceive things far more than men can. A woman can tell within seconds of meeting somebody new of they are fake or not. With that being said, here is the reason yu are in the friend-zone, you met a good-looking woman, made her feel good about herself which she liked very much but somewhere along the line, she discovered you were not being real with her and so to protect her self and at the same time not loose you, she friend-zoned you, you get?
Now the question is, ‘How were you not real with her?’
There is one abstract thing women really want in a man but would never admit it- Realness, which is your offense….you gave her your attention which she certainly wants but you were not real. Giving a woman your attention and being real should go hand-in-hand, especially if you are just knowing each other. Your offense is you became nice too soon, you were trying too much to impress her, trying too hard to get her attention. Here is a shocking but obvious truth; Women test men every time. Yes! She does or you honestly believe that those times she asked you to send her airtime, she did not have any other way to get it? Or that period where she just met you and you guys were out and she said a casual “I’m hungry”, she was really so hungry that she was too weak to go home and find her self something to it? Huh?
My point exactly, she was testing you. A typical woman has lots of men struggling for her attention and the only way she can choose between these men is to subconsciously ‘test’ them, and anyone she succeeds in manipulating obviously gets friend-zoned, that is just how it works.
No, I am not saying you should not send a woman airtime, pay for her meals or other nice stuff, what I am saying is you should not try to impress her too much. Let her be the one to try to impress you. Do nice stuff for her only after you discover she’s earned it….give her opportunities to earn it. The best way to compete with a lot of men struggling for her attention is not to compete with them. Compete but not with them, compete with her instead, you get?
It is quite unoriginal for you to just meet a woman and in minutes or days, you already think she deserves nice stuff- that is just plain fakeness and that my dear friend is why you got friend-zoned. 🙂
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Image Source: lifeteen.com