I am really not sure how the standard English dictionary or any other kind of dictionary defines the term, ‘marriage’, in fact, I don’t care. I just like 2 perceive marriage as more than an institution…as some sort of calling, not necessarily mandatory but necessarily necessary, if not to experience the pleasure of being fulfilled, then stopping people from wagging their tongues in painful criticism is not a bad idea cos the society that surrounds us today find it overly irresponsible for a person not to be married when they should.
I personally don’t have a problem with who you marry and neither should any other person, not just for the flimsy reason of it not being anybody’s business for in a community like ours, anything one does affects the general public, directly or indirectly, the fact that everyone has a right to make mistakes and learn from it is enough excuse for me not to mind whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with. However, i do have a little bit of concern with the ‘why’ you choose to go into this divine school called marriage.
Most people choose to believe that love is enough reason for a man or woman to get married while others have concluded that love is not enough reason. I don’t have any intentions of belonging to any of the schools of thoughts, what i do have intentions of doing is bringing out the benefits and consequences of the two reasons and then let you decide for yourself.
Most people in our today’s society, to the glory of God, have stopped believing in ‘love at first sight’, but are still waiting for ‘that perfect person’ which i find still childish in a way, no offense though. We have created an unrealistic image of the person we want to marry, i mean if i am going to spend the rest of my life with someone, that person should be perfect for me, right?
I believe there was a time where women were betrothed (old way of saying ‘engaged’) before they knew they had a mind, not to talk of making unrealistic pictures with them. Kings had their wives imported and though, these imported wives had minds and were aware of it, their minds or the opinions formed out of these minds could do nothing to save them, if at all they thought they were in danger and somehow, these marriages found a way to work, these women grew to love and respect their husbands. But there is something else, these men, these women were married to could afford this kind of marriage. They were, in most cases, wealthy so why wont the women grow to love and be loyal to their husband in the midst of so much comfort?
For me, I believe this goes a long way to show the importance of not just financial stability but total financial independence in a marriage because money solves part of the insecurity problem of a woman, underline the word, ‘part’. Let me appeal to your imagination;
A young woman, let’s say Ekaette, meets and falls in love with a young man, let’s say Akpos. He is everything Ekaette had pictured her perfect man to be except for one small problem, he is not financial buoyant although he is hardworking and he believes he would make it. Ekaette is in love with him and she believes in him and agrees to marry him. Fast forward into a year, 2years, 5 years into the marriage and things do not get better. Ekaette is confused, torn between love for her husband and financial security. Would she regret her marriage? Would she still love her husband when her children have to stay at home because they cant afford their school fees? Wait, before you answer these questions, please permit me to ask you one more question, who are we to decide whether a man would stay poor or most importantly, the rich would remain rich?
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