Ahhhhh……The signs! Wait signs? What signs? Are there signs? I hear you ask…… Oh, there are signs alright, but you need to be savvy enough. Think of a relationship as a business, you need to invest, maintain and communicate. If you’re not doing all three of these things or at least two out of three, the relationship suffers. FACT!
We invest in unlikely and frankly unintelligent relationships for the sake of it getting ‘better’ or even funnier, that we can ‘change’ the person. Because suddenly we are mini-gods and able to change anyone or anything at a whim. Ha!
You knew who the person was before you entered the relationship, (I hope) now unless this person requested that they would love to change their persona just for you, then you must be one lucky and very unique person but however, unfortunately the rest of us are not exceptions to that rule.
Now imagine you go out to eat at a restaurant, the food is awful, you go there the week after nothing has changed. Would you really go back there again? No, yet the amount of people I know that go back in damaging relationships because of the word, I think that gets passed around much too often ‘Love’ as an excuse.
N.B Eugh. Sorry, I just can’t stand that word ‘LOVE’.
Or some of us think that our relationships are ‘unique’, newsflash: they’re not. There’s always someone worse off and more ‘unique’ than you. If a relationship is bad, it’s actually bad; no amount of investing or lingerie can change that. We think too much with our hearts instead of our brains. Use it people, it’s there for a reason.
Even when our hearts are telling us to get out, then get out! No resuscitation, just please move on to the next one, because there’s always a next one, but I digress.
If you’re not sure here are some of the signs that show its time to move on.
1. Like the popular ROM-com ‘He’s just not that into you’ based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. He’s not calling you. There’s 24 hours in the day, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds and even 86,400,000 milli seconds. My point? There’s time. Now you could be one of those smug woman ‘Oh, you know my man’s on his grind 24-7’ but if he can’t even check with you daily or at least weekly…..hmm. Or you send him a page long text only to receive one word…..hmm.
2. He doesn’t commit to any plans during the week but BAM on that Saturday ‘what you doing?’ Why does he do this? Well, he’s playing the waiting game hoping to get a better offer, now if a certain offer doesn’t come his way…..well there you are!
3. You’re both walking down the street and he tends to walk just a little ahead of you. You could say that he’s got longer legs. So he’s gonna walk faster right? Basically the message is he doesn’t want to get close to you. Body language speaks volumes. Listen to it, if he is always positioned away from you, then….well.
4. Now unless you’re dating a vampire or some other night creature, why does he only want to see you at night? Granted some people are busy during the day but if the date always tends to end with your kit off…..well.
5. The disappearing act. Oh you know the act…..he’s gone for days, weeks and sometimes even months yet that facebook/bb/twitter status is forever changing. You try to contact him, no answer. You start to blame yourself. Don’t. Whatever someone is going through, if you really meant something to him, he would at the very least send you a text. If he doesn’t think you can help in any way, then he obviously doesn’t think highly of you in the first place.
6. He puts you down. He makes negative comments about your clothes, hair, job or lack thereof. In general he’s just plain mean. You think he’s being helpful but if all the comments tend to be almost all negative, maybe you should re-think…..
There are obviously more signs but these are the common ones. If your relationship is showing any of these signs seriously get out. You are worth so much more than this. Don’t just open your legs; open your eyes as well. Pay attention to what he’s doing as well as saying.