On fathers’ day I spent a few hours going through e-cards trying to decide on one to send to my father. We don’t have the typical sappy card relationship so I couldn’t imagine sending him the standard hallmark card.
This got me thinking about the general idea that a girl’s relationship with her father shapes her romantic relationships. “Girls want to marry their fathers”, “I married him because he is so much like my dad” blah, blah, blah. While I am not a believer in grown people blaming all their faults on their parents, I do believe that nurture has a big role in our character development. Do daddy issues play a role in why some women (me included) are a bit dysfunctional in our romantic relationships?
I’ve taken the time to examine my past relationships; measuring the men against my father. Not surprisingly, a theme emerged:
My father is indecisive- I gravitate towards very decisive men.
My father is not a communicator- If a man doesn’t talk, I am out.
My father has no interest in technology – I am strangely drawn to tech junkies.
My father is honorable and has amazing work ethic – Driven men are the only way for me.
My father has NEVER lifted a hand to me – Hitting me is an absolute deal breaker in a man.
The list goes on, but you get the idea. There are traits I want my partner to share with my dad and some are bad signals to me.
Regardless of my sometimes tempestuous relationship with my dad, analyzing him as a man and father I realized something, I am a daddy’s girl in my own way. I have absolute trust in his support for me, and that he will always be there for me regardless of what I do. This doesn’t mean that all my decisions will make him jump for joy but I’m his princess and he’ll always come around. I respect him, his wisdom, his ethics, and his faith.
Have you ever thought about the influence of your relationship with your father? How do you think your relationship with your dad shapes your life and relationships? Do you want a man like your dad? Have you dated a daddy’s girl who made your life a misery/joy because she expected you to fill her dad’s shoes?
Happy Father’s Day to All (Fathers of course)