Dairy Of A Great Jambite Lion [Part 7: Bloody Civilian!]

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So after that experience with the exam attack, I was like, Lai Lai. Me and Cult shall not be friends. I would mind my business and just give them chance abeg. Me I no want. I had some friends who I kinda knew had blended but I didn’t judge. Just not my thing.

But then one day, something will test me to the point that I almost vexed and said I must do my own.

One day one of my friends, let’s call her M4, and I decided to go buy suya near SUB (Student Union Building). M4 and I always hung out and her boyfriend at the time didn’t send. We were all cool, so it was no biggie. Now m4 nah halfcast babe so we used to call her flourescent light cos she would just stickout among us regular darker naija peeps. Plus she always attracted attention of toasters cos she was a fine babe also.

So that day now, we’re walking to towards SUB from somewhere I can’t remember and shortly before we get to SUB one guy just calls me “Bros. How far?” It was dark so I couldn’t really see him so I stopped to see who he was. M4 probably didn’t notice that I stopped so she just continued to SUB.

When I got close enough to see the guy, and knowing that I didn’t recognize him, I just replied “how far bros?”. Dude just goes straight to the point and asked “wetin u dey do with my babe?”

Now at this I’m looking at dude like, this bros is not well o. I know M4’s bobo and he’s certainly not this guy. So I tell him “Bros no dey misyarn now, no be ur babe be dat. I know her bobo well well.”

Apparently that was not the best of things to say. Dude looks at me like what audacity do I have and replies “so u talk say I dey misyarn. U open ur mouth talk say I dey misyarn!! You dey call me liar!!” At that moment, you know how in the movies you see people appear from the dark? I swear like 3 other guys just literally appeared from the dark. “So you talk say our boss dey misyarn?” one of them said.

Before I could even open my mouth to say anything, na so slap land my face. Tawai!! *Yes it sounded like that* Tawai!! Now as a guy, the worst thing another guy can do to you is slap you or spit in your face. I’d rather have taken a punch. But then I looked up and saw those 4 guys. Eyes red as who knows what, and I thought to myself, maybe this is the time to use your head small, cos the first thing I was about to do was swing a punch. But I didn’t. Somehow the liver I had in my body decided to fail.

One guy just shouted “Vamoose from here before we finish you here! Bloody civilian!” And like the liverless boy that I was at that moment, I just hailed one okada and hopped my slapped ass back to Zik’s flats. The whole ride I was just silent.

When I got home, I just sat in my room thinking “Bloody Civilian!… Me? Bloody Civilian.” My mind at that moment was to find how me I was going to do my own back, and I was ready to ask my guy. It didn’t make it any better that M4 came to the hostel later on and started raking. “How can they do that? Who do they think they are?” I’m looking at M4 like  “Na because of you I chop slap this night o, and you’re coming here to make noise.” *hiss*… Please just shift.

But instead of letting my blood boil too much, I drank one bottle of star, and slept. The next morning I climbed bike and went for morning mass, and prayed for God’s protection while in school. One good decision I made.

We Thank God for Jesus!

7 COMMENTS

  1. lmao. Aribaba! Nah you chop slap like that? that was a bitch move sha. U for at least punch one person then run.

    Meanwhile, please the update should be more frequent abeg. This one took almost one month.

  2. Really cool diary… I love this piece. Made me remember those days back at school. Good, bad, Ugly, Funny and Beautiful moments. Nice One!!!

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