Dairy Of A Great Jambite Lion [Part 5: Never Attach Yourself]


So it’s end of semester, and it time to go home. By this time I had gone home twice already cos of strike, but this one was the end of semester and I was pretty much cleaned dry. By time I calculated how much I had with me, and how far it can take me, I decided that maybe entering bus at obollo afor rather than 9th mile will save me money. If you’re from the east and u go up to the north you’ll understand why.

Anyways, I calculated. Bus to obollo afor, bus to jos, and okada to the house. Money should reach right on point.

I get to obollo afor, at about 10pm at night and the place is even more alive than in the day time. It’s like the place jumps off at night or something. Me and one my guys that’s also a jos boy, get there and start waiting for a bus heading to jos. Not long after we were standing on the road, 2 babes walk up to us and say “hey fine boys. Me and my friend want to show you something.” Me being the JJC that I am, thought it was someone selling akara or fried yam so I said no thank you, we don chop already. Babe responded “not that one, this one *pointing to her crocth*”. Ah! Omo see o. I had never seen a real life prostitute before then, and it was just crazy how bold they were. Me and my guy just said abeg o. We no do, and just laughed it off. Konji no hook like that abeg, and that environment was not the sexiest of places.

Anyways, bus lands, and it’s time to hop on. Conductor started calling price, and then it hit me. Omo I no get money complete o. Neither does my guy. After begging and arguing with conductor we realized we had no choice but to enter attachment. Last bus for the night and if we no enter, nah sleep we go sleep for obollo afor.

Now when it comes to attachment there are different levels. There’s sitting on the small bench in the middle isle, sitting on someone’s bag, and lastly standing with holding on to the rail. Of course as luck would have it, it was only the standup attachment left. So me and my guy had no choice but to do that.

This is by far the worst journey I have ever been on, and I hope it stays that way. Imagine standing in a bus (naija night bus for that matter) for 8 hours and hanging on to a rail. I mean the thing was pure hell. By the time we got to jos, I couldn’t bring my arm all the way down cos it had been raised for so long. At some point I had to sit down on the floor, until one woman shouted at me for leaning on her bag of tomatoes.

We get to Jos at about 5am, and the only thing left to do is get home. I don’t know if you’ve been to Jos during hamattan season, but it is dusty as the sahara desert. Imagine riding okada, carry your load, at about 5am, with that dusty cold wind blowing in your face. By the time I knocked on the house door, I looked like I had just finished working at a cement factory. Face, mustache, eye brow, eye lashes, lips and everything were ashy white…. And I still couldn’t put my arms all the way down comfortably.

Jesus Christ! I cant suffer this kind suffer again o. Lai Lai… but something made me feel better. Another of my guys got to obollo afor even later than we did, with no money and ended up entering gwongoro with the mallams and their cows. Yes! It gets that bad for some folks.

But more humiliating was what was going to happen to me when I got back to school