Men Get Abused Too


I have heard and read several stories of men who beat their wives and irreparably hurt their women with violent words, insults, derogatory talk, forced sex and ejection every now and again from shared residence.

While I appreciate that there is absolutely no justifying hitting or maltreating a woman, I believe beyond any alternative argument that just like women need to be protected, men need to be looked out for by a judgmental society as well.

Let us not forget that we live in a country that is yet to engrave laws in black and white against any form of domestic abuse and let us remember as we read this that despite the fact that women rights are still not being aptly protected in a society like ours in Nigeria, some men are abused mentally by verbal swords of derogatory statements which come with a deep level of disrespect by their women.

Men who suffer this do for reasons which include the inability to perform sexually, earn nothing or less than their partners, being short or not good looking enough…and the list goes on and on. You will be surprised at the extent these women go to manipulate their men into doing exactly what they want them to do, and usually, mental defeat is a tool they employ.

I repeat, IT IS NOT JUSTIFIED TO HIT OR HURT A WOMAN but as we listen to stories of the visibly hurt and shaken lesser vessels we must not downplay their clever skill in turning situations around involving relations to favor the outlook that is so given to them.

That said, are you an educated, independent woman who has been hit by your man? I sympathize with you but hope you have the strength to tackle an issue that you most likely foresaw before you got committed to the current agent of your misery. No woman or MAN should condone abuse. If you are too weak to disconnect from your predator then your mental, emotional and in some cases eventual physical death must only be blamed on you.

A quick word in an abusive situation; Confide in someone and do not make any move for a group intervention. It tends to make matters worse. The abuser and the abused must each SEPARATELY get professional help through counseling.

I still am not sure this will change the situation but I personally believe that an abusive pattern won’t change overnight.

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  1. Great one dear,
    Talking of Domestic Abuse/Violence is almost like a no go are in Nigeria. But I'm glad more folks are being brave to address it. It is so true that men are also being abused, but for the fear being chastised by other males, most abused men just keep it to themselves, until they can't take it no more and react/ retaliate on their female abusers. A number of male abusers are actually victims who turn out to be perpetrators. While most are just brought up with no regard for women or see women as objects or property to be owned.
    It is sad that Nigeria still doesn't have any concrete laws on how such crimes should be investigated and how perpetrators should be persecuted. In this age, i still hear folks utter comments like "She deserved it, she should have or shouldn't have…" I pray we get to a stage in the life of out almost dead country, where domestic violence will be recognized as a crime. I get really touchy when it comes to Domestic Violence.
    My heart goes out to all who are being abused and whose voices are being suppressed.