I have heard and read several stories of men who beat their wives and irreparably hurt their women with violent words, insults, derogatory talk, forced sex and ejection every now and again from shared residence.
While I appreciate that there is absolutely no justifying hitting or maltreating a woman, I believe beyond any alternative argument that just like women need to be protected, men need to be looked out for by a judgmental society as well.
Let us not forget that we live in a country that is yet to engrave laws in black and white against any form of domestic abuse and let us remember as we read this that despite the fact that women rights are still not being aptly protected in a society like ours in Nigeria, some men are abused mentally by verbal swords of derogatory statements which come with a deep level of disrespect by their women.
Men who suffer this do for reasons which include the inability to perform sexually, earn nothing or less than their partners, being short or not good looking enough…and the list goes on and on. You will be surprised at the extent these women go to manipulate their men into doing exactly what they want them to do, and usually, mental defeat is a tool they employ.
I repeat, IT IS NOT JUSTIFIED TO HIT OR HURT A WOMAN but as we listen to stories of the visibly hurt and shaken lesser vessels we must not downplay their clever skill in turning situations around involving relations to favor the outlook that is so given to them.
That said, are you an educated, independent woman who has been hit by your man? I sympathize with you but hope you have the strength to tackle an issue that you most likely foresaw before you got committed to the current agent of your misery. No woman or MAN should condone abuse. If you are too weak to disconnect from your predator then your mental, emotional and in some cases eventual physical death must only be blamed on you.
A quick word in an abusive situation; Confide in someone and do not make any move for a group intervention. It tends to make matters worse. The abuser and the abused must each SEPARATELY get professional help through counseling.
I still am not sure this will change the situation but I personally believe that an abusive pattern won’t change overnight.
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