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5 Things Nigerian Men Find Unattractive In Women

By Obinna Odenigbo

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Let the record reflect that just because we find some of these unattractive- does not mean we will not attempt to sleep with you. Sleeping with you is a different ball game when compared with attraction.

The two are not mutually exclusive!

 

1. Desperados!

These are the sort of girls that you find at every party, in every bar or night club. And if you’re confused; here are some pointers. They are wearing thick make up, chewing violently on fake gums and standing ALONE clutching unto their little purses! So we can already tell that they either don’t have cars or they didn’t come with anybody they could trust enough to hold their bags. Desperados don’t want to dance of course; except you have a striking age resemblance with their dads back in the village or if you’ve got a tommy to remind them of theirs’ before they got an abortion. But not dancing doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate drinks!

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ “Of course”.

And while you do; she pretends to receive a call in front of a loud speaker!

Listen I’m not saying there’s anything wrong in being bought a drink for; but women who act as though they are entitled to a man’s wallet have got to go! It’s unattractive and it’s downright classless!

 

2. Blackberry Beggars.

How a classy lady can turn from her ‘whatever’ attitude before you got her PIN to posting sad and teary icons on her blackberry profile, beats me. I mean come on girls; whatever happened to your pride? I know you’re broke- but must the world know? Do you have to post all your problems to the new dude?

But I trust my Naija guys to say-

‘Eeyaa! It shall be well!’

Jokes apart; one thing is certain; if he helps you with some money, he does so out of pity- which is not something you want a man dating you to feel for you. He should feel respect for you; so please respect yourselves. If a man starts giving you money immediately after meeting you, please don’t go running to your gossipy friends 6 months later to tell them how wicked men are. He’s just recouped his investment dividends for 6 months! And if you must tell them; please start such stories with how greedy you were.

Gbabe

3. Gbabes:

Granted that most of us want girls who have Indian blood running in their veins; but we’re not stupid enough to know that we can’t all have that. Gbabes are girls whose hairs remind me of the psychiatric hospital opposite my church!

I know you can’t all afford to wear the expensive lace wigs and Brazilian hair that Omotola or Patience Jonathan wears- but why not thank God for the Aba boys? They have made some extension braids and ‘Brazilian hair’ affordable for peanuts…

 

4. Unkempt Private Areas:

*Hums* “Sometimes I shave my legs sometimes I don’t’. That’s cool and all but I’m going to need you to shave under your arms and the other place (you know where.) I am not scared of using the P word but this is a family friendly website- and I’m sure you get the gist. We may be bush men here in Nigeria, but please give yourself an edge up by keeping it like a well-manicured lawn rather than like a jungle safari in the middle of Niger Delta!

5. Loud Mouths:

Some girls know all the lyrics of all the tracks in Terry G’s or Wizkid’s Album. I once danced with a girl who took me through Timaya’s discography while wearing a smile. She even knew what the upcoming tracks were! Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s all good.

But what’s not good is that the Naija guy, you’re dancing with or rapping at, has already formed an opinion of you! You’re a loudmouth in his head. And you seriously can’t fault him for this assumption.

What the average Nigerian who wants to have something serious with you- thinks about is; “what will my people say about this girl?”

Truth is; if I can’t bring you home to momma we can’t roll. I can’t stand a woman whose every word is a curse; mothereffer this, son of a —– that et cetera. Kindly have at least; an ounce of class and act like a lady not an Obalende conductor!

 

Peace out and love to Nigerian ladies, I think you’re all beautiful. These observations are not meant to offend any of you; but a little dose of ‘keeping it real’ is always healthy.

Leave your comments so I know what you think about this.

Follow Obinna on his blog : www.cruisenigeria.com or on his twitter account; www.twitter.com/cruisenigeria


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http://www.cruisenigeria.com

I love, I drink, I write, I speak, I eat- I even worship words!!! And hey- don't blame me- after all, the word was made flesh- and you know the rest...

Comments

Comments
  • Posh December 22, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Lmao … Well said and i am a lady too.

  • Tolu Fine Body December 22, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    What kind of women have you been messing with though?

    • Bey December 23, 2011 at 11:20 am

      Of the very fake razz kind obviously! long hiss!

  • Kingmaker December 22, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    This is like d best thing I’ve seen on jaguda dis year…….pretty funny buh it depicts that normal 21st century naija gurl!

  • you December 22, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    why must u refer to the ones that can't afford the overpriced hair n wig as 'peanuts'.

  • Awoyemi skid December 22, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Mehn obinna dats really humorus bt its d truth,nice article bro

  • EljE December 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    U tok am wel sha. d sha wey i sha b say, u xprezd sum tinz in a way dat soundd dgradin som ladies. anyhw, i hop d viktimz take korekshunz.

  • #L December 22, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Truth’s been told!!! We no want no lousy, unkempt trick!!!

  • George December 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Goodness me! Awesome article,u simply painted our world in black and white.

  • jess December 23, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Knowing d lyrics of a song doesn’t mean a lady is loud mouthed….

    • chinwendu December 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm

      I agree…If you were to say a girl fighting in the club was a sign of something…but a girl singing all the lyrics is just her having a good time

      • Minn October 6, 2014 at 8:30 am

        But with a smile? Lol

  • GTB December 23, 2011 at 8:26 am

    True talk.ΐ†ƨ like urself had taken time 2 rap wt dese gurls

  • @DicksonKalu December 23, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    D armpit own annoys me most…..haven’t dy seen beyonce’s armpit? Looks lyk a baby’s face.

  • Jolg December 26, 2011 at 3:24 am

    I don’t think this is fair enough, I can’t have a playlist now and sing the. lyrics of all the tracks in it and call me “lousy” nahhhhh

  • tgirl December 28, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    guys….stop harrasing yourself…..there are women of differnt type of character everywhere so are guys. your type of person determines who u role with….maybe u shd try and step your games up and then you can meet beautiful ,decent and attractive ladies. if i say you attract your type of person trust me i know what am saying…..

  • sharon December 30, 2011 at 5:38 am

    but the peanut hair looks cheap, i think dats wat he is trying to say. girls should try their natural hair,if they cant afford d expensive ones. u must not fix brazillian hair

  • Tammy January 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Everything’s spot-on but I don’t see anything wrong with a girl who can sing all the tracks on an album, but that’s just me. r

  • Cynthia January 20, 2012 at 1:35 am

    You hit a couple of high notes there but I think a lot of it is exaggerated. And 5 things is sorta restrictive. There is A LOT of things Naija men don’t find attractive. The one that annoys me are those gurls that wanna turn a guy to cab-driver just ‘cos he has a car and offered rides in the past. Pls check my blog at http://www.cr8tivphenom.wordpress.com

  • shim January 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    I totally agree with your article. Not a brilliant read but… What can I say? Your tone was condescending and rude. Read articles like that in a magazine, and observe the tone. Nigerian men generally address ladies in this manner. Its unattractive. When a gentleman acts like a gentleman, the women around him are forced to act like ladies.

  • bathysrael March 22, 2012 at 5:17 am

    Why do Nigerian males want girls with "Indian blood" running through their veins? Did being dominated/subjugated by the British White Supremacists make you all hate the very features of your mothers who are NOT INDIANS, but African females? Wow, this is sicker than I thought. I have been disappointed to see that even African females are disappointed in their own hair due to conditioning under Racism (White Supremacy)…but I didn't know Nigerian males were worshipping the blood of those who didn't exist BEFORE the African…pity!

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