I had been the proud owner of a blackberry for quite a while, but the blackberry messenger tool had just started heavily catching on. So like everyone I braved up and put my pin on my Facebook status (I swear, it seemed like a good idea at the time). Anyway, of course I received tons of random invites but I was able to weed through them and only keep favorable contacts. I was quite proud of the way this adventure turned out; I even made a new friend, Jimi.
Things started moving really fast and Jimi began to occupy a very prominent spot in my life. I guess it didn’t really matter that we practically lived on two different planets, and that we had never seen each other. We were just having fun, you know, keeping each other company. It wasn’t a big deal and there weren’t any feelings involved.
It’s funny actually because for the first time I didn’t even try to do any kind of research on this dude o, I just took everything at face value. No Google searches, no calling up the girls to find dirt, no digging for old girlfriends, nothing. Regardless, about 4 months into the whole thing I received very credible info that this dude was “married” to some chic (married in the sense that he had been hard core dating this chic for years). Damn!!!
For the most part one would think that it’s no big deal right? Wrong!! Jimi had explicitly told me that he was single and that he had been for a while. He had even told me about his past relationships and I was going around thinking I had finally met an honest man. How foolish of me! Anyway, being the curious person that I am, I asked him. Of course I didn’t tell him my source (credible as it was), but I outright asked him if he was dating someone. I even went as far as to tell him the chic’s name (oh yeah, turned out that I know the babe through distant connections . . . small freaking world!). He denied it, vehemently if I may add.
Needless to say, I continued contact with Jimi. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I believed him, but I just wasn’t ready to stop talking to him. I guess at this point I had finally stopped deceiving myself that there were no feelings when In fact the feelings were there, at least on my part. I mean, two years later it was quite inevitable. Keep in mind that at this point there hadn’t been a physical meeting; but oh the chemistry was there.
A couple of months ago, I went to visit some of my family who coincidentally live in the same country that Jimi does. I was very excited because we finally got to meet face to face. My entire three week vacation there came and went by so fast. Jimi and I met and it was great, we hung out quite a bit and had some fun – a lot of fun actually – and really enjoyed each other’s company.
. . . So, here’s the dilemma, me and Jimi have kept in touch since we saw a couple of months ago. We still talk everyday just like we have for the past two years. We still have intimate conversations and there is almost an element of exclusivity even though we have never clearly defined what we are to each other. Typically, this would be perfect for me because I’m usually wary of commitments. But in this instance, I can drop my pride and say that I have definitely “caught feelings.” Anyway, my problem is that I am still pretty positive (I would say about 85%) that Jimi is still dating that other chic, but I really do like him and I enjoy talking to him even though I know “we” are not really going anywhere. A part of me feels that I shouldn’t care about the other girl because I can’t be blamed for him lying to me; however, I’m a female and I understand that I would still be really upset if the tables were turned.
Image Source: bbmgroupsonline.com