My Ride Or Die Chick. . .

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Please pay attention to the PHRASES IN QUOTATION ” ” for a more enjoyable read…Thanks!

 

As a typical “Naija Boy”(young Nigerian Male) always trying to hunt for adventures and excitement, I decided to take a stroll on this fateful afternoon out of boredom, plus the added fact that I couldn’t stand watching Jerry Springer with my Old-Man since he was off work, and I was back home from school for summer vacation. “As I dey flex dey waka-bout town,” (As I was walking around the neighborhood), “na ehin I jam dis Sisi wit her paddy dem,” (I came across the beautiful young lady with her comrades), {ok I quit the Pidgin English}…at a nearby mall. Something about her was spectacular, and her presence took off-guard, almost knocking me out of my feet. Shawty was fineeeeeee! I automatically had love, lust or perhaps infatuation at first sight (Cupid wasn’t around to distinguish the difference). So many pickup lines started flowing through my medulla oblongata, but had no testicles to move an inch closer to her proximity to say just the simplest hello. My liver failed me yet again. I was sweating, upset, freaking-out, and assuming myself a loser even without making an attempt. Mehn, your boy was a coward.

While I was wondering and gazing at the invisible stars needing just a clue or hint on what next to do, one of the many wise sayings of my father that often come to my rescue in dire situations once again came to my rescue. My father always instructed me on following my intentions, and by all means necessary learn to express myself assertively. He usually stresses that “a try won’t hurt,” and in the worst case scenario you might just be rejected, but that doesn’t make you a failure. All of a sudden I summoned courage, and carefully approached the circle of friends. I asked if they were familiar with the area, and knew of “123 Jonzing Street,” which hypothetically happened to be my parents address lol, but of course they said no.  Full of disappointment like indeed expecting a legitimate answer, I swiftly stepped my game up a notch and tried initiating a lame conversation. I remembered how my Mom would blush the whole day whenever my Dad showered her with praises and told her how beautiful she is, so I thought to myself it won’t hurt to apply the same scheme. You guys look so gorgeous, I said, and not to much of a surprise, they had this glowing bright smile on their faces (while thinking “GOT YOU!”). The conversation sprung a little yonder, while giving the targeted chick more attention. She gave me few accolades, commending my mannerism, and at this point, there was no stopping me. We exchanged phone numbers and Facebook id’s, and cheerfully dispersed for the evening. I couldn’t be any happier at that moment. I raced straight to the closest ATM to ensure enough funds in my account because the next plan was to invite her on a date. We got together few days later, and the rest is history. “You know your boy don’t dull.

History since then is 4+years now. 4 years of an interesting, blissful relationship. Her existence in my life has been one of the best things that ever happened to me. As a very appreciative individual, I decided to finally introduce this blessing to the whole world, and give her the appropriate adoration due. She has been my backbone, and supported me through thick and thin. She never for once forsook me during my trials and tribulations. She wipes away my tears like the “Wiper” of my car, and brightens my world.

She’s indeed God’s very own “engineer” and more like the blueprint to my destiny. So many times have I tried going astray, but she “Steers” me right back into the right direction. She also never hesitates to put me in a complete “Halt” when I fumble; her no-nonsense attitude is something you have no choice but respect. She takes me for whom I am, and sees my vision clearly more than I can ever envision. There’s nothing as enticing and appealing as a strong willed, self focused woman; someone like a “Japanese” gymnast in the Olympics. Her tenacity is close too none. During my youthful exuberant years, when I act silly and nonchalant, she puts my behind right in “Check.” When we have our intellectual talks, her “Head & Eyes” yields so much light capable of leading a path in the dark. Speaking of head, man I tell you, her head game is bananas. Shawty goes hard, you will think she graduated from Cambridge University, but she was raised in the streets…

My chick is so welcoming and down to earth. She has a ritual of inviting friends and/or family members over in the company of 5 (reason yet known to me), and selflessly entertains them. Ma can definitely throw down in the kitchen. She never messes with her domestic cores too, and gets slightly irritated when she finds dirt on her “Leather Couch.” She impresses me so much that I try my possible best to “Gas” her up as much as possible. When we do our grown folks stuff in the middle of the night, its always like two elephants fighting. Our bed suffers a lot I tell, but thank goodness her hips are like the “Suspensions” of a brand new car. She knows how to hold me down tight, and gives me that motivation as described by Kelly Rowland. She’s the best I have ever had, if you know what I mean…

Swag is a word I despise and annoys the crap out of me, but she’s the epitome of that word and much more. We compliment each other well like Jigga & Bey or Barack & Michelle. The funny thing is, she got just “2 pairs of shoes,” unlike other females with shoes addiction, but she manages hers very well through all four seasons. Like every other relationships, we have our conflicting times, which happens at least “once in three months,” but when I take her for a little spa treatment which in return rejuvenates her body and soul, she returns to her happy self.

Because of her class and elegancy, I took the chance to take her out of the country once to pay a visit to my friends in Canada, and mehn she represented well. My friends couldn’t stop singing her praises. That has been one of the most gracious “Trips” I have taken in my life. She’s always readily available to go that extra “Mile” with and for me, sacrificing her time, resources and energy without complaints.

She has been a target and victim of hate, envy, and discrimination, but she still stands firm and keeps her head up high through the “Accidents.” A lot of crooks tried “Stealing” her away from me, but she realizes no one will ever love her like I do. She’s my ultimate love “Machine,” and my “Ride or Die Chick.”

I love my baby, that’s my baby, and I will treat my baby right, hold my baby tight. She is my “Baby Girl!” That’s my “2000 Honda Accord!” Thanks for riding with me!

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20 COMMENTS

  1. Chale!!! As for this one,..you got down oh. That was one of the most beautiful lubby-dubby (love) articles I have ever read in my life. Honestly. It's good to know that there are still men out there that appreciate Good women, and also that there at Good women attracting those Good men. Hopefully in the next couple of years you will have another article telling us about your wedding day:)……I'm just saying.

  2. Guy, u don crase oh…. got me hooked all the way man….

    My first love was a honda as well, was with her for 5 years and then i had to let her go…..

    Got me a stunner…

    There was a day i saw my her on the highway, i smiled to myself as memories amassed in my head…..

    Great read mehn……

    Didnt see it coming….

  3. stupid and pointless write up and i for say u try but u need to do much better than this…so your honda can cook, gave you compliments, xchanged phone numbers etc…..i get what you are trying to achieve, carry us all along until the last sentence or paragraph but this one ma guy is dull and plain absurd…sorry

  4. It was nice, but I had a feeling twas a car after the 2nd paragragh. I am curious to how you "showed" her to the world. If some guys could only treat their ladies better or even as good as you described your car…sigh.

  5. its a nice write up,
    But try and compose yourself very well, before writing on a next one.

    Your honda cooks, calm you when you’re angry, rocks with you, laughs , common man.

  6. mschewww..jst wasted d last 5mins of my life reading this thing. aw dos ur car spank u? cook for u? and u tek her on an international trip? rubbish wrte up. u got it right at first but mixed up 2 different stories

  7. I tot dis was gonna b a car nd i got it right cos no man can appreciate his woman or girl like dat.dou nice write up bt u really got me dere

  8. hello my name is macy daine am a easy going and nice lookiong girl, i am looking for seeking for long term relationship please contact me at (macy4macy@yahoo.com) and tell me more about youself

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