Imagine this scenario. A young girl comes to her parents…”Mum, Dad…I met someone and we`ve seen been seeing each other for a while and we think we are compatible and can live together as a family so we`ld like to get married”. Mum has this big smile on her face while dad has this guarded look, Mum jumps up, ‘O sweetie that is good news, what is his name?”, Dad interjects, “who are his parents?” The girl answers the two questions in one breath with sheer excitement. Daddy is not done yet…” What church do they attend?”
The excited girl replies with stars in her eyes “Daddy they`re anglicans, O God am so happy, mummy am thinking our wedding colours will be skyscraper blue and Romanian gold and we shall serve the guests with fried toad legs and Singapore noodles, oh and i think we should give the guest embossed toilet paper for souvenirs”. Mummy is already imagining the colour of the lace she would wear and how big her gele will be, in fact her fingers are itching to call her friend who shuttles Dubai to get her samples of the latest lace materials, you know those ones that are so itchy and heavy, you cant wait to get them off your body.
The daddy says in a low tone……”you cannot marry him”
You can imagine the silence which ensues, The bewildered girl asks “Daddy, but why?!”
“This is a core roman catholic family, I am knight of St John, I am also the parish council chairman, no child of mine shall marry a non catholic,” and he goes on to recite his entire religious resume.
But Daddy Apollonius is a sweet, god fearing, hardworking man, I love him and I know you`ld get to love him too,I’ve met his family, they all just love my hair” the girl gushes with stars in her eyes.
“i have said my piece, no daughter of mine will marry an Anglican and daddy goes into the history of the Anglican church concerning King Henry the eighth and his many horny women”………………….
This may sound funny but this is a situation that is very prevalent in our societies, it`s the 21st century but our parents still very much interfere with our plans…what the hell does it matter if I want to marry a buddhist or a Confucianist, or even some strong-headed atheist….. A friend of mine said to me a few years ago, he had better be catholic or nothing, some years down the line, with her biological clock buzzing loudly in her ear and she was not yet married. She says to me, “My dear, forget catholic oh, anybody who is serious I`ll marry, it seems all the eligible catholic bachelors are taken, orthey`re just blind, how can they not see me, in fact i now sing in the choir to see if they`ll motice but no, they seem to prefer club girls”. In fact she refused to come home for the holidays because her nosy aunties where going to make some annoying remarks about her so-called perpetually single status.
Dont get me wrong, but I believe our parents have a right to offer their suggestions in the choice of life partners for their kids but they should not make their opinions final and binding, think about it, they have lived their own lives. They should let their kids make mistakes and learn from them. every marriage must have issues, even the best of marriages may have been built on very shaky and controversial circumstances. come to think of it I believe, Religion does not make a man, but his love and obedience to his creator and the way in which he lives with his neighbours. However as young people make sure you`re marrying for the right reasons because when the chips are down whether your parents approve or not…..s@#$t happens and when it happens you`ll have to clean it up all on your own, people may come and talk, but it’s the two of you who would have to deal with sleeping on the same bed facing the wall or talking to each other via BBM even while living in the same house or hitting his head with a frying pan when some bimbo from the office calls him…ouch! However at the end of the day prayer will always be the key, marriage is serious business, so seek ye the kingdom of God and its righteousness, surely the rest will be added unto you, so if you`re ready to marry , if you`re not a prayer warrior, learn it because the Big Guy up there is the only one who determines whether a marriage will work or if it would go up in flames. Well thats my take, so what is yours?
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