Thinking about the guys that have toasted me in the past,or are currently toasting me now, I have come to realise that guys have no pattern, no motif of detection whatsoever. They randomly select who they will date and who they will be official with. Some guys have toasted me in the approach of a relationship when all they really want is a chillationship. What exactly is a chillationship you may ask?? It is the in-between friends and a proper relationship… you know the guy who doesn’t want to claim you but will get jealous and territorial the minute you start talking to other guys; yup that right there is what it is. And the worst part of it all is they tell you, “hey don’t stress boo, we’re just chilling , we’ll see where it goes”. BULLCRAP!!
That’s a bunch of pish posh! Guys know from the get go who they want to make the wifey and who will always be stuck as the boo. My question though is, why do guys go for you knowing you want more and get mad when you push for it?? Shey na only u get tosh and follow?? Commot jor!! I have noticed, (take no offense) that oyibo men however, turn chillationships to relationships and vice-versa. If dem talk say dem love you, dat one na to love you die be dat. They do not have a certain type they feel fits in any category, if they are feeling you,and you remain as awesome as when you started hooking up, sweetie watch out!!! He just may have a ring for you in store. I find that Nigerian men in America tend to follow the so to speak akatarish playa mentality. Bimbo is a jump-off, but Chidinma is wifey! Why though?? When you were Kpanshing Bimbo all was great but to advance this “thing” further na wahala be dat… mchewwwwwwww!!
Me sef I don tire from all these toastations leading nowhere. I’m a relationship kinda gal, so don’t tom-tom your mouth for me, be frank so we don’t waste each others time. I find that when they come here, they no longer want to toast you for many months till you guys become official. They try for a month or so,then tell you your wasting their time and cut things off when you had just started fancying them. Or they toast you so tey, and when they get you, your mindset is “he’s my boyfriend”, while hes telling his boys in the DMV, yall are just “kicking it”. Seriously wtf??? Why do many Naija guys come here and wanna screw anything walking but when they are ready to settle down they expect you to either be a virgin or only to have been with one man, tops two?? I don’t get it.
However on the other hand, in summertime, when there is fresh, hot meat that you both know won’t amount to anything, nne biko, run and collect! There’s nothing wrong with a girl having some summertime fun in the sun….literally. Now don’t get the wrong idea, in no way do I condone ashawo bizness, becos dat one no be work, but enjoy each others company, do stuff together without getting deeper than need be. Sex is purely optional, sex should be earned not given away sha (I say wait till your in a relationship for that one). But if your summer fling is looking like Tyrese in The Fast and The Furious, I won’t blame you if you fall and slip on….ehm. yea.
Anyway sha ladies this is 2011, do not dull yourself!!! Whether your looking for a relationship or chillationship or your in one of them, keep your eyes open to explore new things and people. Don’t refuse a date with a Mexican guy because he’s not Nigerian, who knows? He just may be better than Tayo, Chike or Bashiru. And men please be frank, (which is why I appreciate akata men) tell us what exactly we are in for, rather then buttering us up to leave us high and dry. Who are you to define a woman by her behaviour when you haven’t set any clear boundaries, give her a shot. Being a tad bit flirtatious as your “chillfriend” holds no grounds as to how she would be as your”girlfriend”. All in all people, go for what you want and NEVER settle for less! Don’t let him trick you into the “let’s compromise” there’s a huge difference between the two. Compromising means coming to a middle ground in both stances, while settling for less, is you taking whatever you can get whether you agree with it or not. Have a safe summer Peoples and let me know your opinions on chillationships Vs Relationships and why Naija guys here act different from the ones back home and anything else you want to chime in.
Holla at your girl Ajeburra.
Love, sanity and Jesus.