No Nookie For You Today, Come Tomorrow


If you’re unfamiliar with the idea around my topic, then you probably need to visit a buka and tell the owner you want to eat on credit and pay at a later time. He/She will probably point you to a sign that shows their only policy. Those that get it, get it.

Anyways, in one of my random moments, I got on the internet and stumbled across a pretty interesting video on about the dreaded “friend zone” and signs that let you know that you wont be getting any nookie from this babe that you’ve been programming since 2008.

As someone that has languished in the friend zone a lot in my younger days, I can definitely identify with its pains. It can get pretty annoying, especially when you cant figure out why.

Here are some signs that you’re doomed, and you should just hang it up.

1. She always brings her friends when you guys go out: This is pretty damn obvious. The babe is not trying to see you on a one-on-one P, and will always try to avoid that so you don’t even have a chance to try anything. In most cases she already knows you like her, but she “sees you as brother” or “doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.” Bringing friends along with her anytime you guys make plans puts a stamp on that. She’s on the “Let’s all have fun together” P, which is obviously not what you’re on.

2. She brings up that word “Friendship” way too often: If a girl is attracted to you, and will give you some nookie, chances are she wont be mentioning that friend word too often. Words like homie, buddy, main man, aren’t necessarily words that scream, come and collect my pant. Instead it lets you know that she’ll probably come and tell you about a guy she just met the night before at Rehab.

3. She avoids possible moments of physical and verbal intimacy: This is closely tied to 1. It’s all about avoiding those moments where you can make a move. If she reduces the moments where you can make a move, then your chances are seriously diminished. Like one of my guys will say, “You cant score a goal if you can’t even get the ball.” Even time for hug sef, you’ll get that dreaded “side brother-in-Christ” hug. I don’t mean that any disrespectful manner, but in 2011 when a babe you’ve been programming gives you that kind of hug, it’s pretty much a wrap.

4. You’ve made all the moves with no response: This gets kinda tricky with African babes, and Naija babes in particular because they are notorious for forming for extended amounts of time. However, I’ll say this, if you’ve made a move on the girl, and she pushed you off or gave you this “what are you doing?” look, then maybe it’s not happening…EVER. More especially if she’s someone that has been your friend for a while. Yeah buddy, just fashi that romantic movie, and watch transformers.

5. She talks about her men, and dating experiences: This is probably the ultimate sign of the friend zone. She talks to you about Tunde, Chike, Uyi and co, and how this one did this, and that one did that. She’s only telling you all this because she sees you as a friend, and not much else. It’s not to make you jealous as some desperadoes might want to think. As someone that has been in the friend zone a lot, I know this is the ultimate sign. Most girls wont tell you about other guys, if they are interested in you. It’s counter-productive for them.

That’s pretty much it, and in reality if you’re going to get nookie from a girl, chances are you wont have to do too much. As one of my female friends once told me, “A girl knows if she wants to fuck you before you even say anything.” Everything else is just ceremony so it wont be as if you just went and collected without doing small something. Your job will be not to mess it up.

So if you’ve been programming a babe since secondary school, and still nothing dey happen, check these signs. You just might be in the friend zone, and be on the way to receiving the “side hug” lol… Yea I know it sucks. Desperate guys will resort to hanging around on the hope that one day she’ll finally realize that you truly love her…. Yeah… That’s just movies.



  1. nice one. hey writers and Jaguda this is theboyisgood wrote some articles here like The Female Orgasm here is my new site for writers, poets, picture loves and good article writers. Support a fellow naija boys site check it our and tell me what you think…….

  2. Haha —-> "This gets kinda tricky with African babes, and Naija babes in particular because they are notorious for forming for extended amounts of time…"

  3. But women do this on purpose sometimes, then later we try to act clueless like we never knew. But guys are sha very slow. Kongi go just kill you on top one babe when you can be looking for other fish in the sea

  4. Hahahahaha @ "Even time for hug sef, you’ll get that dreaded “side brother-in-Christ” hug." I even hate getting those kind of hugs!

    Some chicks has been exposed!

  5. But babes too de old inside the friend zone. Be there trying to cook for someone and gives massage to get promoted to madam/wifey status.
    Back to the topic though, being placed in the friend zone by force is frustrating. Ah well like Bushgirl said, there are other fish in the sea.

  6. Yes oooo. I just got myself out of one. Experience is the best teacher of life. Thanks to Aribaba, he has laid out the steps to help navigate out of this dilemma. When you find yourself in the friend zone, just forget about the girl. It's a wrap.

  7. It's just very simple. She does not find you attractive. Have you noticed how us women meet someone we like who is trying to put us in friend zone and we try very hard to still win him over? No, you didn't find yourself "mistakenly" in the friend zone, it was a decision she already made after 1 or 2 mins of talking to you.

    I had a friend who was in the friend zone with another friend of mine, after professing his love for her, she told him she wasn't looking for a relationship. I asked him "are you sure she's not looking, or is it that she doesn't see you that way?" He replied and said "I believe she's really not looking." I said okay o. Well come to find out, 2 weeks later she started dating someone else. It seem guys (like girls) have a hard time facing the fact that she's just not into you.

    Move on.

  8. some guys out of stupidity or strongheadedness delibrately remain in d frnd zone hopin dat 1 day their luck fit shine….its so fuckin pathetic so heres free advice- move on dude nd stop wastin tyme or missin other fishes cos u are continuously castin ur line in the same spot…

  9. yes oh! I'm female and yes jooor… this guy needs big time award oh….I am guilty of all of the above. Not all gurls are vocal enough to bounce guys..i fall in that category. Its really annoying when a guy doesn't read such signs easily…. and when they finally do, i usually have a sigh of relief….