What constitutes a healthy relationship? Would we know one when we see it? Better yet, would we know what an unhealthy relationship looks like?
Many of us, unfortunately, have grown up in unhealthy relationships. Be it as a result of “culture” , religion, or just plain old human upbringing. The older I get, the clearer it is to me what a healthy relationship is. However, in a twisted way, it gets even blurrier when I look at relationships that have lasted for a long time. How does one keep safe and not push everyone out of your life as soon as u spot a flaw. Nothing wrong with being picky. The rest of ones life should not be taken likely.
Even if we may not know what a healthy relationship is, at least we should know what it’s not.
When Your Partner Hits You Many of us would laugh and say “oh please, this is obvious”. While it’s easy for us to judge those who’ve allowed themselves to be abused by another, in the real world it doesn’t seem to be so easy to walk away. Take a look at some long term relationships, some of the husbands or wives will admit to being subjected to some form of physical abuse at some point in the relationship. Keyword: SOME. If your partner EVER raises their hand to hit you, hit the road. Fast! If not…
When He/She Cheats On You Another obvious red flag right? Not always so. They say once a cheater, always a cheater. Never give excuses for someone else’s selfishness. However, in a sick-twisted way, I have noticed too many long term relationships have dealt with this or are still dealing with this issue. In your clear mind, this is not a good sign. It will break the trust and cause a lot of heart ache. And trust me, if he/she is not faithful to you now, he/she will not change when you get married.
When He/She Constantly Brings You Down This is a tricky one. Many of us want someone who will tell us the truth, even the ugly one. However, when you’ve built such a relationship it’s very easy for it to become a parent-child relationship. Men hate when women nag as much as women hate when men boss them around or verbally abuse them. Verbal abuse can be very hard to spot. Just pay attention to what comes out of your partner’s mouth. If they have more negative things to say than good, you may be with the wrong person. It will not get better, you’ll start to resent each other. Tough love gets old eventually. Worst of all, they may eventually become an enemy to your progress.
The divorce rate in western and non western countries has increased. While the reasons I’ve mentioned are not the only reasons, they are the major reasons anyone should walk away from a relationship. So, we ask: “Who will stay married?” Well, I don’t know. I just know that there are great humans out there who want what’s healthy as well. I fear getting advice from older people because sometimes they’ll act like these actions are excusable. Is anyone as confused as I am?
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