Perfect

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Who is Mr. Perfect and what are the qualities that make him who he is? How tall is tall enough? How dark is dark enough? Would you like rock hard abs, or a beer tank that looks like it’ll be exploding any second from now? What exactly makes a car nice enough? And what types of bills make his wallet heavy enough? It’s a good idea to have standards when looking for Mr. Perfect but when does a list of requirements start reading like the script to the next Nollywood romantic blockbuster and become a deterrent rather than a guide?

I have heard one too many girlfriends tell me what the perfect guy will do for them on the first date, how he’ll look into their eyes and never fail to say the perfect line. They obsess so much about these fantasies that when they do meet someone, they examine the persons every action, and match it to that perfect scene that they imagined the other day while they were watching D’Banj’s “Fall In Love” music video. Some people get so wrapped up in their fantasies that they forget that the other person is a human being just like themselves, with good days, bad days, and the occasional diarrhea that comes about from eating too much efo riro at their home-girls wedding reception from two Saturdays ago.

Nobody is perfect, but everybody believes that there is a perfect someone out there for them; “I’m a princess, I deserve the best!”  Of course you do hunny! But seriously, have you considered the fact that because some of your requirements are so superficial you’re losing focus of some of the more substantial qualities so you end up picking the man who’s halfway through spending his inheritance money because hey! You deserve to be treated like a princess and he has the means to treat you like one right now! You don’t see the potential in Mr. Ambitious over there with his beat-up Datsun and the not-quite-Ferregamo-shoes. He’s been trying to catch your eye for the past thirty minutes but he can’t quite afford to buy you that $20 drink that will secure him five minutes of your time before you decide that you’re too good for him because he’s doesn’t make quite enough money yet, and his eyes are spaced so far apart that he doesn’t have to move his neck in order to get a 270 degree view of the room.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have standards, and I don’t have anything against the finer things in life in fact, I’m allergic to monetary bills that do not have a value of at least $20 as well as any guy who does not address me as “Most magnificent queen princess baby honey bee” for real, I’ll be singing “On to the next one” quicker than you can say “La Campagne Tropicana” three times without blabbing. My point is this Mr. Perfect is out there but he may not be quite what you imagined him to be. Looks, money, fashion, these are all things that come and go, and if you are seriously looking for “The One” superficiality may land you what you think you want for now but give it time, and you’ll see that like that .99cent nail polish you’re wearing on your gold colored acrylic nails; all that glitters ain’t gold.

Image Source: Corbis

8 COMMENTS

  1. Nice one……so on point……..Ladies,ur going to grow a lot of grey hair while ur waiting because Mr Perfect hasn't stepped out the novels and the movies yet so until then hez sooooooo not available.

  2. Very deep…. We ladies have to realize that theses men in the movies are acting. Remember its a movie,a musical video, a book and not reality. Iv learnt to look for things that are not material like personality, intelligence, attitude, like and dislikes, potential, ambition etc cos these thing r more likely to last forever rather than the look, car, phone, crib etc.

  3. Guys and their double standards. Ladies are a bit more realistic in their expectations while guys are busy salivating over nicki minaj's fake tits and ass.

    • I don't think it's a gender thing. It's a person thing. I've heard both men and women give descriptions of their perfect somebody and all I could do was chuckle and say "you go old small"

  4. Lmao at "his eyes are spaced so far apart that he doesn’t have to move his neck in order to get a 270 degree view of the room." That just killed me. Love it tho

  5. While WE (note my emphasis on the word WE) are looking for the perfect specimen to couple with, have we honestly analysed ourselves to see if we are perfect? A lot of folks do search for and come across Mr right or Miss right and then find out that they, the "searchers" are so wrong for their found "searchees". My people, repair yourselves first and Mr right or Miss right will come searching for you, chikena!

  6. I agree with Yemmie. Mos women have a "list" but in reality it doesn't take a lot to push your list to the side. Men, on the other hand, salivate over a woman's looks over anything else. Case in point: When was the last time you saw a man with a woman who he looked better than? We all personally know plenty of women who date men who are older, shorter, balder, fatter, poorer, less educated, and have children from previous relationships. And we've always asked ourselves: What is she doing with him? or She could do better. I cannot say the same for many men.

  7. guys also have these issues, i once knew a guy who had this thing about marrying a very very very beautiful, he had his specs down to what her fingernails would look like, and the annoying part is that this guy no even fine, money sef he no get

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