Finding & Keeping That Special Man… Part 4: Spotting The ‘Zoo-Guard’



How you today? Last week, we talked about creating a lasting attraction with that great guy! But we all know that some guys are ‘zoo-guards’, extremely difficult to please and very immature too. Guys like that will frustrate all your efforts in making a better relationship. So this week,I’m going to talk about differentiating the great guy from the ZOO-GUARD:

Were you dating a guy when one of ‘those situations’ came up in his life that shook his foundation and challenged him – either made
him re-think who he is, what he does, or what he’s most passionate about? Maybe he lost his job or maybe someone close to him passed away? Or even something worse. Well I have, and if you have, you most certainly watched him pull back from you a bit once it happened. Men often do this when they feel their life and significance is in crisis (like they loosing control)-its normal and expected.
But here’s where differences between an emotionally mature man and an immature man show up:

An emotionally immature man will completely withdraw without warning. He will completely avoid addressing the issues he’s facing and the feelings he’s going through. Not only will he block himself out of his own feelings, but he’ll block you and your relationship completely out as well. He can’t admit when he’s going through a challenging time (pride,male ego), and he can’t open up and see that allowing the people he’s closest to and loves the most to be there to listen and support him is the best thing. Instead, he wants to isolate himself to try and make the pain and the problem go away. But it doesn’t/never works that way. On the other hand, an emotionally mature man will handle things very differently.

While an emotionally mature man will still feel the pain and frustration of his circumstances and might even noticeably pull back a bit in all areas of his life, he WON’T shut the woman he loves out of his heart and mind. In fact, an emotionally mature man knows that
in order to have a truly loving and honest relationship, he has to be honest about who he is and how he’s feeling, even when he’s feeling down about himself. And he can’t hide if he’s going to stay close and loving with the woman in his life. Emotionally mature men are willing to show their feelings, and more importantly, they’re able to allow the woman in their life to “see” them even when they’re going through a difficult time. They will avoid the temptation men feel to shut down and go into “survival mode” all alone
in isolation.

Have you ever watched a man go into survival mode? Omo,I have o. That’s when you know that people can be very resolute! There’s no talking him down from it. It’s simply a matter of whether or not the man has the mental and emotional tools inside him to handle the situation in a better way. Mature men understand that their feelings can’t simply be stuffed away or shut off, or else the relationship and the ‘women in their life’ suffers as well. Now that’s an expensive quality ‘SELFLESSNESS’


Now that you’re starting to get what I’m talking about, start looking for signs of emotional maturity in any and all of the men around you. Practice looking at all areas of a man’s life, and you’ll be able to identify a=man’s emotional maturity level:

Maturity Area #1: Work
Is the man able to handle adversity, criticism or even intense politics at work and remain level-headed, relatively calm, or even
compassionate? Or is he spiteful, does he talk about problems instead of thinking about solutions and how to improve personal dynamics in his work life and relationships?

Compassion and the ability to handle ‘complex'(whether superiority or inferiority), mental and emotional situations without coming
unglued or doing negative or harmful things to other people is one of the best signs of emotional maturity – and sensitivity as well.

Maturity Area #2: Friends
What type of company does he keep? It has been said that you can know all you need to know about a person simply by looking at
the people they spend their time around. A man’s closest friends and peers are one of the very best windows into his mental and emotional world.

Are his friends people of integrity? Are they doing positive things with their lives and committed to living a good life? And his friends capable of being in mature and committed relationships? Does he have any married friends who have stable relationships where both partners are relatively happy and fulfilled?

Men spend most of their time with people whose values they share.

Maturity Area #3: Family
How does a man handle his relationships with his family members? Sure, lots of people have challenging family situations, but whether or not a guy’s parents are together is not what’s really telling about him. It’s more important whether or not he’s on stable emotional footing in the way he relates to his parents.

Fighting intensely with parents, high and low emotional swings, or completely estranged situations without a clear reason can be signs of deeper emotional turmoil that’s unresolved and might mean that a man will have trouble being there and being present and stable with you emotionally.

So now you know, there are other key areas of maturity you should look for in a man to make sure you’re not wasting your time with someone who isn’t capable of the relationship you deserve.

So the next time you wonder if a guy is stringing you along, just look out for this signs and know right away what kind of man you have on your hands… and how to handle him. We know it may not be the guy’s fault, could b a lot of reasons,bt no be your own fault too.Quit makin excuses for a guy you find negative signs in! NOW is the TIME to be selfish with you and yours! Put yourself ist,cuz if the guy wan mess up he fit no think about u ist! Your happiness is key!
Goodluck in replacing that ‘ZOO-GUARD’

Have a super-weekend!!!

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