I always knew my paternal grandma never liked my uncle’s wife but I could not figure out why until recently. My uncle lives in the U.S with his wife and kids and his mum( my grandma) stays in Nigeria. My grandma would always complain bitterly about my uncle’s wife and blames her for “snatching” away her only son. My grandma would blame my uncle’s wife for not allowing her son to send money home. Note, this lady sends money to my grandma every month but my grandma thinks $300 a month is too little. My grandma would make comments like “ She is just there eating up my son’s money, growing fat and does not allow him to take care of me.” My grandma would even pick up the phone to call my uncle’s wife to hurl insults at her. Recently, my uncle’s wife went to Nigeria and my grandma insulted and embarrassed her so much that the she cried profusely and opened a secret that no one knew about. According to her, she has been the one carrying her family’s responsibility for 10 years because the husband lost his job and could not find another one. So all the money my grandma was saying is her son’s money belongs to her. She did not tell anyone about her husband not working because she wanted to make him feel like the breadwinner and she did not want anyone disrespecting the husband. My grandma apologized to the daughter inlaw and they became cool.
I recently heard from the grapevine about a lady who paid for her and her fiance’s trip to a vacation spot and the mother in-law wrote nasty comments on her facebook wall. The mother inlaw accused her of spending all her son’s money vacationing. Not knowing that the lady paid for the entire trip. When the mother inlaw found out, she felt ashamed. This leads me to ask the question, what makes this so called mother in-laws assume that the money belongs to their son ? Why can’t it belong to the daughter in-law. If the couple decides to spend their hard earned money on their spouse, its no one’s business including the parents. A lot of spouses sometimes attribute their wealth to the other spouse who may not be as financially stable as he/she is to boost the spouse’s respect and dignity amongst people.I thought this only happened in movies and amongst the uneducated but i am shocked to know it happens in real life and even amongst the educated ones. A lot of couples do joint finances so mother in-laws need to let them be , rather than looking for which one is the son’s money and how fat the wife is getting or how many pairs of shoes the wife has. My paternal grandma once told my mum that ” Since u went to America, all u do is buy earring and bag, don’t finish my son’s money oo” Note, my mum makes more than 80% of our family income. Haba ! Mother in-laws story tire me oo. Heaven knows that i don’t want that kind of mother in-law. Am too weak to fight. One little thing can make me cry all day.