Do As I Say, Not As I Do


Where is the most religious country in the world? You guessed it… Nigeria. Enter any major city in the country and you are bound to see a church on almost every corner or a huge mosque in the heart of the city. It’s not news… We love to worship in that country. But what still baffles me, is with all that church church, and praying at 5am in the morning, we are still a highly immoral country. Armed robbers, and kidnappers are all over the place… 19 boys are still doing their thing, militants, religious extremists killing each other, prostitutes in major cities like they are giving away free entry to heaven, and people are visiting the jazzman steady.

But probably what bothers me the most of all the immorality, and hypocrisy in our “great” nation Nigeria is the BS we call a marriage institution. It’s almost like a load of crap in naija. *excuse my language*

Now I’m not sure if we were just madly naïve when we were younger or things just took a turn for the worse, but it seems like that thing called marriage in naija is a big joke (no offense to the happily married, because I’m sure there are some)

I was talking to friend that lives in naija… Single girl, with a masters degree, and by most people’s standards she’s a pretty good catch. As per normal jokes now I was like…”So when u dey marry now?”…and she responded that there are no toasters oo. All her toasters are married men. Ah ah… I’m like… Ok. I know some married men do their runs here and there, but for her to say it’s only married men toasting her I was kinda surprised. She told me, “omo these days nah married men dey do pass o… Always in the clubs with girlfriends, and such and it’s become so normal for everyone to have a wife and a girlfriend… Normal P.” As in no hiding nothing.

On the flipside, young babes too dey chook eye for married men. Apparently, all nah for no strings attached loving and spoiling. No hiding… A significant number of babes in naija have their boyfriend and their “uncle.” My distant cousin once told me, “it’s not like I don’t love my bf, but I need that uncle to spoil me every now and then, and my bf can’t do that… Plus I know the man won’t leave his wife so it’s a win win… No emotions.” On some BB Babes levels. LOL.

Me sef I won’t say all this is news, but I must say that the fact that it’s so wide open is kinda baffling. In her words, “my husband is going to cheat anyways with a younger girl, so I might as well do my own now.”…and so the cycle continues. Tomorrow we’ll all go to church and shout “He’s a miracle working God.” Such hypocrisy.

Let’s not even get into the cougars in naija these days… Organizing guys left and right, or the 50+ year old men chasing 16 year old babes… Una no dey shame? Tufiakwa!! *sorry I had to*… What are we supposed to tell teach our kids?

It’s like everything we preach to ourselves and our children everyday, we do the exact opposite. What’s the point? Everyone might as well be open with it and we can just have a free for all, and forget about faking religion, so we know that nah us bad pass.

I’m not saying these things don’t happen in other places and parts of the world, but the level and the hypocrisy that goes with it in Naija I believe is unrivaled… Then again I haven’t visited every country in the world.

Anyways… Enough of my rant. Sometimes I think all the prayers we pray in that country has been blocked by some screen from reaching God, because we pray and pray and then go and do evil after service or after the mosque.

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  1. Preach on, Aribaba. Coincidentaly, I was talking to a friend of mine, who’s in the US, today and this same exact topic of moral hypocrisy came up.

    When I was applying to college, I was limited to certain states because my parents were concerned with the “gross immorality problem” in the US. Back then, naturally, I had to acquiesce to their demands. Now, that I am older and have time to think about it, I look at it this way: “Sex Sells”. Period. If companies want to sell products, pop and hip-hop artists want to promote their music . . . (not-so-)recent history has shown that there is a higher chance of capturing a large segment of the market (depending on the market, of course), if some sex-appeal is introduced. It doesn’t even have to be blatantly obvious; the curves on apples more recent products come to mind (bear with me). So, it appears that everyone in America is going around humping one another with reckless abandon . . . just the sort of drivel that some of my ignorant countryfolk love to latch on and echo mindlessly. Like you I am constantly amazed by what goes on in workplaces in Nigeria all in the name of “performance evaluation”. Sad and sickening.

    I’d rather be vilified for being a cheating husband than for being a cheating husband . . . and a hypocrite.

    • Errmm . . . I'm not sure if you realize this but a cheating husband IS a hypocrite. You took vows and said " I promise to do this and that" and after the papers are signed, you start chasing other girls. If thats the case, then what are you if not a hypocrite?

      • Oh, yeah. No doubt. A cheating husband is many things . . . and being a hypocrite is one of those things. What I meant to convey in this case, though, was the "religious hypocrisy".

  2. in france a man can have a wife legally and a mistress on the side without any legal problems from the wife,because french law allows it. But i do understand what you are saying about hypocrisy.

    when growing up my parents will come home and talk about how bad my aunts' and uncles' marriages are,but a day later they are at each other's throat,but once they go out they paste a fake smile and everything is well act on their face.

  3. I completely agree with this post! Very sad actually. I've grown up with this kind of hypocrisy around my whole life. Even though each individual can make it different and choose not to continue the cycle…the whole issue makes me not really interested in getting married. *shrug* We'll see.

  4. It's poverty and repression. We've carried religion so much on our heads… our parents cheated on each other secretly while we watched. Now this generation is all grown up & is not sending that's why these things are done so blatantly. If not for poverty, young girls will not be looking for sugar daddies.