Finding & Keeping That Special Man… Part 3: The Power Of Attraction


Last week and the week before that,we talked about the major blunders ladies make wen it comes to finding and keeping the right man. A while ago,I read somewhere about these 5 critical elements a succesful relationship must have and they include:

  • Attraction
  • Commitment
  • Sex
  • Love
  • Communication

Note them carefully, and I would like to add a 6th one-Boundaries! And guess what? They work differently for different men. Which means if you’re still waiting for a man to figure it out and come over to your way of thinking and feeling so that your relationship
can finally work and feel easy again, you are seriously on a long thing. It really isn’t fair on us ladies that we always have to do all the research and the work. Why can’t a guy just use his common sense 2 knw these things? Like I said last week,we hurt the most,we get dumped the easiest, guys have too many options – great guys especiall, so in the end, we still have our work cut out for us.

Understanding ATTRACTION and how it works is absolutely CRITICAL if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with
a great guy. As I said last week, guys know the difference btw a ‘sexual relationship‘ and an ‘emotional‘ one. They know amongst their harem of girls which is the ‘girlfriend’ and which is the ‘wifey’…Men stay physically and emotionally “engaged” when they feel attraction for a woman, and they don’t pull away or withdraw when they’re feeling intense attraction.

But here’s one crucial question… How does attraction work with a man not just on the first few dates, but much farther into a relationship?

Are YOU the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to and wants to have a deep, connected relationship with? Just what is it that makes a man see you as someone he sees as relationship material rather than something casual?

To share a few tips on how attraction works with men, let me tell you about “Carolina”. “Carolina” is just a sample ‘guy-speak’ term for the kind of woman who is attractive to men in a way that even they can’t explain or fathom and won’t tell you
about cos most times they really don’t know what it is (because men are like children,they just know they prefer this toy to the other)… but I will.

You see, “Carolina” is just my code for a woman who embodies certain qualities that, together, triggers attraction in a man – ‘an emotionally mature man’ (we talked about this last week- #mistake3 sizing up a man’s relationship potential). You must’ve heard a guy (maybe your uncle,brother or male friends) especially the ‘players’ say this about a girl, – “THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER“- (even Dr.Sid sang about If you’ve ever heard a guy talk about a woman that way or being ‘cool like dat’ etc, you probably saw him talk about her with a smile.

Carolina has certain positive emotional energy that men can relate to. She might not necessarily be the most physically attractive
woman in the room, but there’s just something about her that men find irresistible.

Here’s that “something”…

  • She brings funny, positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again
  • She’s willing to go with the flow when it comes to social sturves but makes certain assertions when she has opinions and ideas
  • She has options and things to do that keeps her satisfied so she doesn’t feel like she’s left out when not invited to something, and even if she does feel left out(which is absolutely human), she certainly won’t complain about it or even mention it – she’ll FIND something to do that’ll make her happy.
  • She’s not in any form of competition with women around a man whether at social gatherings or otherwise. Her sole aim? Have fun, enjoy and live for the moment whilst keeping her principles intact.
  • She prefers that a man makes up his own mind; She doesn’t try to make a man do something (try could be goading, forcing, nagging. It’s very different from advising or suggesting)
  • She DOES know that the way she feels and talks about herself is how men will feel about her
  • She ‘chooses’ (we all have choices) not to complain or talk about things for too long that are not other people’s responsibility or impossible for anyone to solve given the current situation

At this point, I bet you are starting to get a clearer picture about the kinda woman a man can’t help but want to be around and get to know better – the kind of woman he unconsciously starts to see as a long-term prospect rather than a friend or a casual fling!

Have a fab weekend,and good luck with keeping that man! And if you haven’t found him yet,he’s just around the corner honey,shine ya eye some more! Bless!

P.S. I look forward to hearing from you, for personal questions or the likes pls send an email to…

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  1. You have said it all especially this last part…..
    I particularly like the part u broke down the "something about her"
    On point…. No inpurities…. just straight talk…..
    Nice article….

    Carry go….

  2. Yea you are right on a lot of levels, but I feel I have to point out something, a girl can be ‘a carolina’ and more, but if a guy is not mature and emotionally ready, all the carolinas in the world would not make him stay. So timing is everything