Something Out Of Nothing?

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First of all,thanks for the comments on  EXCUSES….AGAIN? STOP PLEASE which was the series before thisOk, now here I come again, that you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time.

A few weeks back, a Sierra Leonean friend of mine who is engaged and with a proposed wedding date and plans already in the pipeline  called me. She called me occasionally since she has moved up north to be close to her man, so we often  try to steal each other’s attention with lengthy hour calls,(thank God for my unlimited calling plan)but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She sounded pissed off; grouchy, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with this engagement and a proposed future wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last six years of her life spent with him go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I stared at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant I felt like having a private jet – I would have flown to her city quickly to give her a knock on her head, just a gentle knock – to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed out of range with the crappy words she just uttered.

Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up also the next generation, raising kids that would need constant features on Dr Phil and therapy sessions for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last six years of your life – 1,2,3,4,5,6 – to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing her laments). So you are trying to create a love marriage from a six years crappy relationship?Needless to say, this lady is a young beautiful,intelligent  26yrs old chemist. With good life habits like hers, I mean good diet, no drugs or cigarettes she could easily live another healthy 50-55 years .And here you are, willing to mortgage a future on six years already spent with this jerk? Seriously, I can see it is really tough but as her friend I couldn’t hesitate to let her see she is probably desperately trying to make something out of nothing.

Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to offer. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. Sometimes, we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing.

TO BE CONTINUED

Image Source: http://www.zillow.com/blog/what-happens-when-bad-credit-marries-good-credit/2008/02/27/

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4 COMMENTS

  1. I agree, unfortunately, when you are young, 6 years feels like forever. At 26, her adult like has been 8 years and of her adult life, 6 of those 8 years have been spent with this one guy. So really, all she knows is him. So, from her perspective, she sees those six years as her entire life. I think you as a friend, injecting in her mind that she has 50+ years to go is a good wake up call and hopefully she gets it before it is too late.

  2. You copied most of this from the article called ; "5 mistakes women make " by Ekene Agabu.

    And you also did not reference the author. Paraphrasing( changing the names and ages of the characters) doesn't not mean you shouldn't quote your source. It is very unfair to the author because other people will think you wrote this by yourself and you didn't. Also, you get the credit for another persons work. For someone who is trying to demonstrate ethics in a relationship, you seem to have forgotten that charity begins at home. Even if he or she is a complete stranger you shouldn't just steal someone else's work.

    Here is the link to the stuff you quoted ; http://www.bellanaija.com/2009/07/10/5-mistakes-w

    • hello smartone,thanks for the critic and i am sorry to inform you that i read ekene agabu's not from bella naija but in raw format almost two years ago and i also acknowledge the source that helped me put the series together at the end of the series which comes next to this and i also said that in my last article when someone commented on this same issue. i am not really trying to inundate praises or applause for this article whatsoever but just to put it out there for pple to learn and i can repeat again that i acknowledged ekene agabu at the end of this article and the bottomline was to make people learn and not an intent at plagiarism.

      thanks a bunch and i appreciate your comment a great deal

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