Me Sef No Fit Marry You

39
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Men! Men! Men! I am very irritated and annoyed when i hear some of you brag and boast about not being able to cook. You say ” I no sabi cook jor, na woman work be that.” Who talk say na woman work be that ? E dey Bible or Quran ? Is that something to even brag about ? The same way many of you men say you cannot marry a woman that cannot cook, we women too no fit marry una.

When I say cook, I dont mean I want you guys to pound yam or make ogbono or make  fried rice oo, but if u sabi cook this type of food sha, na plus for u. When I say cook, I mean, you guys should know how to boil water, dice onion, fry egg, fry plantain, make tea and identify food ingredients/grocery.

Me and my ex thought it would be romantic if he assisted me in the kitchen to cook. So we started cooking , I wanted him to participate so am like “baby, can u pass me the powder crayfish and maggi?”  My ex was like ” which one be powder crayfish and maggi ?” Can u imagine ? I no vex oo, I opted to coach him on what food ingredients are and he was like ” I am tired baby, lemme go play game. Call me wen food don done.”  I asked him to help me dice onion and he said  “that’s  a woman job, besides I don’t want my friends seeing me dicing onion, its embarrassing.” So I let him go play his stupid game. While I was cooking, he asked me over 100 times if the food was ready. I finally said yes and if u see d way way he rush come kitchen. He ate more than 3 plates, me way cook am eat only once. He even assisted me in eating mine. Shoooo ! which kain tin be dis ? Long-throat, lazy boyfriend like him.

My current bf  no fit cook excellently, but he is willing to learn or help me out in doing one or two things in the kitchen and  he learnt  how to boil water and fry egg. E no try ? I can marry a guy who can at least do simple things even when am out of town. Unlike some guys who would rather their wives/girlfriend spend 7 hrs cooking and stocking up the freezer with  different dishes for them b4 she  travels. A male friend of mine on facebook, recently posted pictures of his culinary skills on fb and I was amazed at his skills.That dude can cook, even better than me.  Thats the kind of man that should come out if they are calling out real/complete men,  not the ones that can’t boil water and put too much maggi and salt in egg.

Pls Men, learn this basic skillz. Its romantic and could make any woman fall for you and it could also relieve us from some cooking task. Kudos to the guys who are excellent cooks and the guys who at least make an effort to learn. And kudos to the girls who can cook and teach their men. And for the women who can’t cook,  the topic is for another day.

Image source: http://threebrothersandasister.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

39 COMMENTS

      • As usual, bush girl is back insulting. You no fit change. I think you must be a virus that no one wants to associate with. Who are you always angry at?

    • Uhmm….D prince, many African men, have a swag and plenty of cash…so that is NOT enough. Therefore I think you should be the person going to blazes for having nothing special to offer a girl. Nonsense!

  1. Only a retarded man will utter the words D prince just posted.I guess your mother must have been your father's slave so i understand where that is coming from.I grew up in a family where there were no boy or girl duties.Everybody cooked and did the same duties. My father who is a very very busy surgeon was the person who taught me how to make eba at age 9. If you want you daughters to grow up thinking they are food caterers to their husbands then that is on you. You can instill in your sons that they are kings and women are slaves…that is your own stupid palaver.If you as a man can say such crap it just shows your background and level of thinking.Only a lazy man will not want to help his wife.If you can eat dont you think it is proper to be able to cook?

    It is obvious some men will forever take advantage of the double standard.I just thank God my hubby is not like some of the retards called African men.

    I am done commenting on topics like this.

  2. Interesting Article!!! Cooking skills has become a requirement/criteria for men!! what has the world turned into???

  3. I am a woman and i disagree with this article simply because in the home there are duties that are for the men and for the women, and theses days the line is becoming more and more blurry. I actually find if disrespectful for a woman to ask her husband to come in the kitchen and help dice oninons let alone cook his own food. As women God had equipped us with certain skills and cooking is one that should be our pride and joy. And to answer the question posted at the beginning of this article, YES it is clearly stated in the Bible that it is a womans duty to provide food for the FAMILY. As stated in Prov 31 : 10-31. NKJV:

    14 She is like the merchant ships,

    bringing her food from afar.

    15 She gets up while it is still night;

    she provides food for her family

    and portions for her female servants.

    16 She considers a field and buys it;

    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

    If you read this chapter to the end you will see that this does not make u a slave to ur husband. I understan that women can have stressful jobs too nd all tht is required from ur husband when u cannot cook is understanding, if he truly loves u he will understand the time when u can't cook for whatever reason, maybe u worked late or were too busy. But that is the role assigned to women biblically so ladies stop trying to "americanize" and make excuses or find loopholes to the situation and GET IN THAT KITCHEN !

    • If you want to use this bible passage to justify why women should be the care takers then no woman should go and work for someone else. She should own her business and control the hours of operations (just like the proverbs 31 woman bought a field). Yes, that bible verse prescribes what a woman should do, but it does not say "O ye Man, do not help your wife while she goes about her duties".

      Also, the so called “manly” duties dont come up as often as the “woman duties” (which needs daily and hourly attention). How many times does the man get to fix things in the home? And when things need fixing, most times an expert is called in to fix it. So really, what does the man do? Lifts his fingers to call the plumber to come have a look at the broken pipe?

      If we are going to take the bible literally and follow proverbs 31 exactly, then it means that women should not be preaching in churches. After all 1 Timothy 2:11-12 says “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent”. What I am saying is that there are many things the bible prescribed but are not relevant today because of the evolving nature of the world. Whether we like it or not, some things in the bible were as a result of the Jewish tradition, time and place.

      As far as I am concerned, Jesus Christ whom I look up to as the overall authority has put to death law and tradition. The bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus”. Basically, Christ considers all of us as one. Christ is the true representation of love. If a husband is a true follower of Christ, if he loves his wife like Christ loves the church, a man will not sit down and fold his arms while his wife does everything. Anyone that operates on “WWJD- what would Jesus do” knows the right thing to do.

      If you as a human being comes home tired every day after work, what makes you think that you wife who is a human being as well is not tired? Any man that sees his wife struggling with home duties and does not help her is not worthy to be called a HUSBAND and a lover.

    • If you want to use this bible passage to justify why women should be the care takers then no woman should go and work for someone else. She should own her business and control the hours of operations (just like the proverbs 31 woman bought a field). Yes, that bible verse prescribes what a woman should do, but it does not say "O ye Man, do not help your wife while she goes about her duties".

      Also, the so called “manly” duties dont come up as often as the “woman duties” (which needs daily and hourly attention). How many times does the man get to fix things in the home? And when things need fixing, most times an expert is called in to fix it. So really, what does the man do? Lifts his fingers to call the plumber to come have a look at the broken pipe?

      If we are going to take the bible literally and follow proverbs 31 exactly, then it means that women should not be preaching in churches. After all 1 Timothy 2:11-12 says “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent”. What I am saying is that there are many things the bible prescribed but are not relevant today because of the evolving nature of the world. Whether we like it or not, some things in the bible were as a result of the Jewish tradition, time and place.

      As far as me I am concerned, Jesus Christ whom I look up to as the overall authority has put law and tradition to death. The bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus”. Basically, Christ considers all of us as one. Christ is the true representation of love. If a husband is a true follower of Christ, if he loves his wife like Christ loves the church, a man will not sit down and fold his arms while his wife does everything. Anyone that operates on “WWJD- what would Jesus do” knows the right thing to do.

      If you as a human being comes home tired every day after work, what makes you think that you wife who is a human being as well is not tired? Any man that sees his wife struggling with home duties and does not help her is not worthy to be called a HUSBAND and a lover.

  4. Also if u notice it doesnt even say just to cook the food, it says PROVIDE it. It says "She gets up while it is night" meaning that even while everyone is asleep the woman is working on providing that food so nothing should keep us from performing that duty; "and out of her earnings she plants a vineyard" so it's also saying that her money is also going towards providing the food. So u see, nowadays we women actually have it easy because the man is willing to buy the food, nd does not expect us to wake up in the middle of the night or under extrenuous circumstances to prepare it. We were created as an helpmate for man, and these are God's rules which man is trying to alter and modify to fit their disobedience.

  5. My response in 3 Parts.

    The statement that " Women are suppose to be in the Kitchen and just cook" was made up from back in the days when women dont work and just stay home with the kids…and the man go to farm, hunt and bring food home to the woman to cook…those days are long gone…most men dont hunt or farm any more…you do the same work that women do in offices and companies…so sharrap and stop makin that type statement..that kind of backwards thinkin is why naija is the way it is right now..

    For married men..

    in these days…you go to work all day,,and so do your wife… she comes home and start cooking..help your wife…she no be ur house girl, ur mama or ur slave…she is just as tired as you are after a long day of work…besides the less energy she spend running up and down in the kitchen because of ur lack of help…the more energy she has left for your sex life at night…also if you cant cook and ur wife just have a baby.. how would you eat…you will force the poor woman to make iyan for you when she just come back from hospital…dont be a yeye man… only idiots friends laugh at you for helpin your wife out in the kitchen or better yet know how to cook.

    For single guys..

    Knowing how to cook is another weapon in your arsenal…it steps up ur game to the next level..by atleast 10 points…when i was single..not too long ago…once i can get a fine gurl to the appartment…and she eats what i call my " pata (panties)- dropper dinner"…which compose of fried rice..Moi moin, and chicken/fish that i Yii-lata ( mix with fried peper)..lol..all cooked well by the way…well lets just say…alot of friendly visits has turned to staying the night..or even weekend…

    women love a man that can cook…just knowing that when they are tired..her MAN can step in the kitchen and cook something is a turn on for many women..

    so stop being lazy, learn how to cook…there is no shame in it…but too many positives both married and single men..

    Spoken by a 26 year old, Modern-african man….

    p.s do anybody know where i can buy bush-meat in New jersey… I want to make efo-riro with bush-meat…been cravin that for weeks

    • So called modern man you have your fact all wrong. Back in the days there was division of labour!! men planted and harvested heavy crops like yams, hunting and fetching firewood while women planted vegetables, did the light weeding and selling the proceeds. back in days women did the selling or trade by batter of the harvested proceeds. Never In African culture did women just sit and home and cook and nurture kids.

      the truth of the matter is that our African mothers were made strong!! The responsible of being a mother in our culture is not easy!!! thats why mothers are very significant!!!

      Do your research next time before you open your mouth an open forum….

      "the African man is the hunter, while the African woman is the mother, cultivator, and market woman, as central to the economy as men." Dr. Ali Mazrui

      The Africans: A Triple Heritage

      • At least it was the woman's own personal business (the selling of crops) and she had control over the hours of operation, thus making it easy for her to also oversee the affairs of the home. In current times, a woman who works outside the home just like her husband has little control over her work hours.

    • how i wish there were more naija guys like you. for this reason, getting married is a scary thought to me due to this traditional expectation of a typical nigerian wife. imagine finishing a 16hour shift and coming home to make a full course dinner for a would be husband sitting on the sofa watching tv and asking me to hurry up with the food. i believe household chores like cooking should be something shared between husband and wife especially when both are working professionals. it's not like back home when the wife did not work and the husband was the only source of income.

  6. So called (Tunde Dududskii)modern man you have your fact all wrong. Back in the days there was division of labour!! men planted and harvested heavy crops like yams, hunting and fetching firewood while women planted vegetables, did the light weeding and selling the proceeds. back in days women did the selling or trade by batter of the harvested proceeds. Never In African culture did women just sit and home and cook and nurture kids.

    the truth of the matter is that our African mothers were made strong!! The responsible of being a mother in our culture is not easy!!! thats why mothers are very significant!!!

    Do your research next time before you open your mouth an open forum….

    “The African man is the hunter, while the African woman is the mother, cultivator, and market woman, as central to the economy as men.”

    Dr. Ali Mazrui (The Africans: A Triple Heritage)

    • Response to "You have your facts wrong":

      Excuse me, I think you need to pick the log out of your eyes before you worry about the spec in another persons.

      Number one, African mothers are not so significant because they are over-worked in African culture. They are significant because of the process of child bearing and rearing where a biological bonding begins from time of inception of the baby and continues through breast feeding and child rearing and also because of their love and sacrifices. So please correct yourself.

      Secondly, back in the days, home management (cooking, & home chores) and child care was the major role of the African mother while the African father served as the sole Bread winner (trading, hunting, & farming) and protector of the family.

      Yes some women may have voluntarily planted outside their homes because they had free land, but it was NOT their duty! And Trade by batter was done @ home by any family member depending on the goods in question.

      So please get it right.

  7. to u have ur facts wrong… you did enough to bash my point…but what is ur opinon about this discusion…lets hear that first before you start tryin to dislodge mine…

  8. "And for the women who can’t cook, the topic is for another day." Why so?

    Per Sophisticated's comment, so God "equipped" women with cooking skills and not men? It is also disrespectful for a woman to ask her husband (the man who is supposed to be her partner) to help in the kitchen? Wow! Interesting!!!!

    Putting aside all the "romantic hoorah", everyone should learn how to cook, even if it's just frying eggs and other basic stuff. How do you intend on surviving when and if you have to live alone? Take out/Dining out everyday? Even that sometimes gets old fast.. But i guess if you have a chef & all then, okay…That's fine..

    I thought marriage is about compromise and complementing one's spouse? If your wife can't cook and doesn't like cooking, what stops a husband from cooking the meal? (and vice versa). Fear of being "emasculated"? Wow!!

    We sure have a long way to go. God help us and free us from such limiting ideologies.

    Smh..

  9. People up in here getting all worked up…..

    As they say another man's meat is another man's poison….

    I'm a guy and i do not mind cooking… Infact most of my friends enjoy cooking….. I live alone and cannot imagine how i'd survive with just take outs especially in a foreign land where u dont have many choices when it comes to naija food (yes, i said Naija lol).

    When a woman comes into this picture i still see no difference, it actually makes us a stronger team.

    If i get home earlier than her, i'll surprise her with a nice meal….. if she gets home before me, i'll surpise her with a foot massage and a bubble bath cos she's been standing all day (and mind u there are still more things u can do besides these o)…..

    Omo, dats my darling o….. the one i'll spend the rest of my life with….. I need cherish am till i die o….. Na she go dey there when people turn their back and everything else seems to be going wrong….. and na she go dey when everything dey sweet…. Not forgeting the pain of child bearing…. abeg make una carry go…..

    Ego aside….. She'll be my everything…..

    Great article Jayfunade, nothing do u….

    • You the only one who gets my point here. I don't understand y pple are getting worked up over nothing. I obviously do all the cooking in my house and stuff. I don't mind if my hubby does'nt help me out. But i just feel men should also learn this basic skill so when we not around, he could stand in the gap for us. Even if its not for a woman, can't he learn to cook for himself so that he won't rely on his woman for that. What happens if God forbid, his wife dies ? Back to eating outside abi ? My brother's wife likes to shakara my brother. Everytime they have a quarrel, she will not cook and she says she is going to starve my bro to death. My bro cannot boil water so everytime he has a prob with his wife, he goes out to eat until he was poisoned.If he knew how to cook, he would not have had any bizness eating outside. And i am not going to call my husband to cook for me. If he says he wants to, y not ?

      • Hehehehe….

        well na different strokes oh…..

        When i saw the post i knew it'd draw this kind of attention but that wont change how i feel about it….

        When i was in university i tried all i could to teach my house mates who didnt know how to cook how to cos there was no way we could get back from lectures then i'd b the only one cooking while everyone played games….. from that point on i realised what women went through…. adn for those who didnt wanna cook they had to do other chores like cleaning the bathroom and living room while i cooked….

        As far as you are in a relationship with anyone you have to learn to share responsibility…..

        The builds understanding among people in the most subtle ways….

        at least u know its a great post thats y people are all worked up over it… hehehehe….

  10. Kudos to the writer of this post. I think i will have to step up my game when it comes to cooking. I love cooking but only in a neat kitchen. I love hanging around my girl when she's cooking. I think its romantic

  11. So called (Tunde Dududskii)modern man you have your fact all wrong. Back in the days there was division of labour!! men planted and harvested heavy crops like yams, hunting and fetching firewood while women planted vegetables, did the light weeding and selling the proceeds. back in days women did the selling or trade by batter of the harvested proceeds. Never In African culture did women just sit and home and cook and nurture kids. the truth of the matter is that our African mothers were made strong!! The responsible of being a mother in our culture is not easy!!! thats why mothers are very significant!!! Do your research next time before you open your mouth an open forum…. “The African man is the hunter, while the African woman is the mother, cultivator, and market woman, as central to the economy as men.” Dr. Ali Mazrui (The Africans: A Triple Heritage)

  12. I don't think it's a requirement (at least not for me) for a man to cook. If he does it is a plus! I think the problem comes when the guy is demanding me to cook every evening, when I too have been working all day. As long as you and your significant other have an understanding of how these things will work themselves out, there should be no wahala. If the guy is oppressing you in the kitchen, it was your choice to be with him, so bear the consequence. If you know you are a woman that does not like to cook and feel like it is insulting your independence then find a guy that wants that. Don't go find the most bush of Igbo men and then cry that he wants you to cook! Life's about decisions…make ones you can live with!

    • Haba!!!!!

      Why the segregation? "Don’t go find the most bush of Igbo men"…..

      I'm half ibo half yoruba and i must say that it isnt about where you come from o (even though ibo guys can be aggressive lol!!!)….

      We have a gentle side to so i think its a personal thing o…..

      abi r u talking from experience…?

      • Ah ah, no vex me o! That comment was strictly for dramatic effect. I love my Igbo guys (the unbush ones of course 😉

        • Ok madam no vex…. Lol!!!!

          Thanks for d clarity….. Was jus wondering… Wink wink…

          Hehehe…

          Enjoy the festive season…

          Cheers… 🙂

  13. If you want to use this bible passage to justify why women should be the care takers then no woman should go and work for someone else. She should own her business and control the hours of operations (just like the proverbs 31 woman bought a field). Yes, that bible verse prescribes what a woman should do, but it does not say "O ye Man, do not help your wife while she goes about her duties". Also, the so called “manly” duties dont come up as often as the “woman duties” (which needs daily and hourly attention). How many times does the man get to fix things in the home? And when things need fixing, most times an expert is called in to fix it. So really, what does the man do? Lifts his fingers to call the plumber to come have a look at the broken pipe? If we are going to take the bible literally and follow proverbs 31 exactly, then it means that women should not be preaching in churches. After all 1 Timothy 2:11-12 says “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent”. What I am saying is that there are many things the bible prescribed but are not relevant today because of the evolving nature of the world. Whether we like it or not, some things in the bible were as a result of the Jewish tradition, time and place. As far as I am concerned, Jesus Christ whom I look up to as the overall authority has put to death law and tradition. The bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus”. Basically, Christ considers all of us as one. Christ is the true representation of love. If a husband is a true follower of Christ, if he loves his wife like Christ loves the church, a man will not sit down and fold his arms while his wife does everything. Anyone that operates on “WWJD- what would Jesus do” knows the right thing to do. If you as a human being comes home tired every day after work, what makes you think that you wife who is a human being as well is not tired? Any man that sees his wife struggling with home duties and does not help her is not worthy to be called a HUSBAND and a lover.

  14. hey hey guys why are you getting workup on this issue cooking.come on guys they is noting wrong with cooking.helping your spouse or chick.see see guys cooking natural domestic work which we all as guys to made it so so so in fun.men men men cooking is not a big deal even me also cook i can't imagin my gilr friend cooking for me.so i do the cooking myself.

  15. my point is still for men to learn how to cook… there is nothin wrong with that….just take into consideration a case where your wife is not able to cook for a long time maybe due to sickness or baby delivery…or she even have to travel for work…or for something else…so as a man you wont eat for that time or na take out and restaurant you go chop..COOKING does not make you a slave to your wife, or less of a man…nor does it mean you will be the main cooker in your house…but when the situation demands..you will be able to do it…SIMPLE

    .THAT SAID

    Sharron clemons….relax OOO… i didnt say wat i said to demean women or make them look useless or anything like that.. if your read my whole opinion you would understand that…i said it to compare the past to the present..where as in the past the man is the main bread winner, and now in the present both man and woman in some families are the bread winner… lets contribute to the discussion in a positive way instead of attacking the other person without fully understanding their point.. that is called selective reading…lol..if you want to question my point..thats ok..that is why dis topic is up for discussion..lets stop attacking people without making any effort to contribute positively…thats wat our current leaders in naija do…henceforth why oyinbo still refer to us as third world country…

  16. I agree with the writer jare. There's nothing to be proud of if you're a guy and you can't cook.

    I believe real men should be well versed in many skills and cooking is one of them.

    As a very bad guy, I can chef some correct chops.

  17. yahh, shut up!!! if you dont wana cook someone else willl. whats wrong with all of you girlsddnt od create you to be a helper? disgusing people. you want the man t provide for the family and still cook for you?!!!! completely stupid. if he can he will but it not like hs job, getn it!!!! and get a life

  18. To the writer, I really feel ur message ern the points in em ern to everyone, we all do have our opinion about this but we just av to becareful of a lot of misconseption,

    We are just taking a look on cooking ern some dude ern not getting comfortable, I'm a guy ern I don't see anything bacd going to the kitchen, I watched a film dou can't remember the titile, but talked about two love birds who wanted to tie the nuts ern were tested by a rev. to see if dey rilly can withstand each others weakness, so wat du we men av to say when it comed to parenting, u know fixing daipers taking kids to school ern so on, we rilly do need begin to readjust esp. In dis present times wen tings ar changing rapidly. But dats no excuse to the woman too from excemptin from der responsibilities

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