Celibacy In a Recession


Ha! I’m back! Thought you people scared me off huh? Negative!! I’ve just been doing things ajebottas do now…chilling, maxing, relaxing, sprinkling in a little work. Nothing too heavy. I guess you could say I’m back to stir up trouble again. Here in goes.

As straight forward as the title is, is as straight forward as I’m going to be.  We all know times are tough out here for most of us.  Unless you’re an omo olowo (rich kid) and you have mom and dad picking up every bill, you might not be able to relate to this post.  Being in my mid-20’s and somewhat knowledgeable to the Power of the Yoni, I have come to realize that the Power of this very Yoni will be devalued in such recession stricken times.   Coming out of college I made it a point to refrain from intimacy for a few different reasons. 1) I could barely trust guys within the college- setting, so I definitely don’t want to put myself in such a position with men that can travel in and out of town as they please. 2) I don’t want an STD/VD/Baby and most importantly 3) I realize my stock has risen by simply graduating without any of the things mentioned in #2.

Although I may not have the very same independence as I did in college because of the fact that I moved back in with my parents.  Mainly because we live in the same city & its just more decent (according to my parents) for an unmarried woman to be in her parents house, plus rent is HIGH as hell in NY, we all pretty much know that where there is a WILL that is a WAY!! Frankly, I have no WILL to deal with all these broke, cheap, fake, flexing, no goals having geezers. So there is no WAY I am laying down with you when you can’t offer me anything other than the occasional and ever so fleeting tingle in my toes (IF he’s even that good).

Yes, I said it. Take it all in. Breathe.

One thing I’ve learned by getting out of the college atmosphere is that it is a WHOLE lot easier to get some guy to sleep with you, than it is to get them to be in a relationship or some semblance of the word. To top it all off, I finally want to start giving Nigerian guys a chance, having never dated or *ahemed* with one in my 20-something odd years of living. I’m not even going to lie, the thought of getting that close to a Nigerian guy scares the crap out of me because I’m more afraid of not being respected by a Nigerian guy than I am of not being respected by a guy of another background.  I don’t know if that qualifies as me putting you Naija dudes on a pedestal, or just fear of you running your mouth.  And we all know our degrees of separation are only about 2-5 people/friends/family members/facebook pages/Twitter accounts long.

So back to the recession part of this whole gist.  I just don’t think that it’s smart for any woman who wishes to get married to an emotionally and financially stable guy to go around tossing your goodies and every Tom, Emeka, or Femi beyond her 21st birthday, 22nd birthday if she was on the 5year college plan.  Especially in the dire economic environment we’re in at the moment.  More than likely, that man cannot provide any financial supplement to your current situation so you’ll be climbing him like a tree every night and coming back down empty handed.  maybe there are some males and females out there who are down with the whole “tasting the milk before you buy the cow” crap, but I’m sorry that just leaves room for you to decide that you don’t want chocolate milk & you’d much rather have vanilla milk.  So to cut all of that out, let’s just respect ourselves, accept that we both aren’t without blemish & have had our time to experiment. If we must resort to cold showers and the occasional “don’t touch me there if you know you can’t finish what you’re about to start”, so be it.  Let’s choose to focus on finding out if we can actually build a meaningful and lasting relationship. Since neither of us has an American Express Black card we can’t fill all of our time with shopping sprees, we should fin out if we can hold a conversation with each other.

But…if he or she is related or closely connected to Dangote…OMOOOOOOOO!!!  All these yarns go out the window. Bwahahahahahaha!!

PhotoCredit: http://jezebel.com/5536412/celibacy-so-hot-right-now


  1. Hmm…. so the writer is sounding like an ashawo o. So ur reason for not sleeping with a guy is cos u're not financially sure if the person will take care of u?.. See me thinking it's cos of preservation or for religious reasons.

    Interesting write up sha

  2. This was some super funny stuff! I commend you for being real. I also just started giving 9ja guys a chance. Girl, it's hard as hell. They are a different breed, I tell ya!

  3. This was amazing because it was well written and truthful. And you may have actually missed the point @Craseman, she is not an ashawo. Dig a little deeper if you can understand where she's going with this. She's talking about her realization that sex is cheap, and meaningless sex adds anything to life and aspirations in the long run. She's saying post-college there are more important things to focus on (such as establishing one's self financially). Looking for someone in the long run means sacrificing the sex for more important long lasting traits, characteristics, and plans as u figure out whose right and who isn't. So free the babe jo – hissss! 🙂

    Anyway, this article makes sense die and was very well written! 🙂 I love it.

    @Ngo, what makes Naija men a different breed? Different from what exactly? Just curious, cuz i would pick a good Naija guy over any other nationality any day…


  4. Great article….

    i'm a guy and i can fully relate with her…..

    Meaningless deeds that dont add any substance or value to the future are actually pointless regardless of what ur doing (forgtet sex sef).

    I understand her fully from her own angle…..

    Guys may feel otherwise but the truth is that is there any guy here who'd want to be married to a woman who has been with 3/4 of the guys in his own wedding, knowingly or unknowingly (since the truth always comes out)? i think not….

    I reckon with u jere….

    Guys will always be guys though, if they cant get it from you they'll get it somehow.. lol!!!!

    Thing is more value will be placed on the lady, and if she has a great character to match with good prospects for the future then i think she might be off the market before she even knows it cos there are pretty serious guys out there as well.

    Great read sha…

    Carry go…

  5. I'm not one to judge and this may not necessarily pertain to the writer of this article but there is an ashawo undertone to the write up (ok with the exception of the end of the last paragraph). Pretty much saying no knacking if there no financial reward. Hmm

    I think part of the wahala is that most of us care too much about what other people think and end up being good for all the wrong reasons (which I still think is bad).

    To the main koko, why do people want from others what they aren't offering ehn? Financial stability but you de your parents house. Where they do that at?

    Anyway sha those are my thoughts. Carry go!

    • Omo meen…9ja women & their weirdness (i tire for una oh!) They no wan hear truth, they no wan hear lie, wetin them wan hear, abeg?. If u tell 9ja woman say na only knack wey want, she go vex, now 9ja woman don dey "monetize" the value of knacking!

  6. hmmm interesting article,but i dont get d part where having sex with sum1 has 2 do wiv his financial status.fine i agree with d fact dat a decent woman shouldnt sleep with every tom dick n harry but i dont agree its ok 2 sleep wiv sum1 if hes financially stable.this is d problem most Nigerian girls r facing cos they fink every Nigerian girl is a gold digger or just about d money.im a young woman n im more interested in maKing sure im financially stable than looking 4 a guy 2 do it all 4 me.its so funny how most naija girls sit at home do nofing other than get their hair,nails done&go shopping n dey expect 2 meet 'responsible' guys.girl u need 2 start doing something 4 urself rather than waiting 4 dat rich bloke.not sleeping around should be on moral basis not financial.