Ha! I’m back! Thought you people scared me off huh? Negative!! I’ve just been doing things ajebottas do now…chilling, maxing, relaxing, sprinkling in a little work. Nothing too heavy. I guess you could say I’m back to stir up trouble again. Here in goes.
As straight forward as the title is, is as straight forward as I’m going to be. We all know times are tough out here for most of us. Unless you’re an omo olowo (rich kid) and you have mom and dad picking up every bill, you might not be able to relate to this post. Being in my mid-20’s and somewhat knowledgeable to the Power of the Yoni, I have come to realize that the Power of this very Yoni will be devalued in such recession stricken times. Coming out of college I made it a point to refrain from intimacy for a few different reasons. 1) I could barely trust guys within the college- setting, so I definitely don’t want to put myself in such a position with men that can travel in and out of town as they please. 2) I don’t want an STD/VD/Baby and most importantly 3) I realize my stock has risen by simply graduating without any of the things mentioned in #2.
Although I may not have the very same independence as I did in college because of the fact that I moved back in with my parents. Mainly because we live in the same city & its just more decent (according to my parents) for an unmarried woman to be in her parents house, plus rent is HIGH as hell in NY, we all pretty much know that where there is a WILL that is a WAY!! Frankly, I have no WILL to deal with all these broke, cheap, fake, flexing, no goals having geezers. So there is no WAY I am laying down with you when you can’t offer me anything other than the occasional and ever so fleeting tingle in my toes (IF he’s even that good).
Yes, I said it. Take it all in. Breathe.
One thing I’ve learned by getting out of the college atmosphere is that it is a WHOLE lot easier to get some guy to sleep with you, than it is to get them to be in a relationship or some semblance of the word. To top it all off, I finally want to start giving Nigerian guys a chance, having never dated or *ahemed* with one in my 20-something odd years of living. I’m not even going to lie, the thought of getting that close to a Nigerian guy scares the crap out of me because I’m more afraid of not being respected by a Nigerian guy than I am of not being respected by a guy of another background. I don’t know if that qualifies as me putting you Naija dudes on a pedestal, or just fear of you running your mouth. And we all know our degrees of separation are only about 2-5 people/friends/family members/facebook pages/Twitter accounts long.
So back to the recession part of this whole gist. I just don’t think that it’s smart for any woman who wishes to get married to an emotionally and financially stable guy to go around tossing your goodies and every Tom, Emeka, or Femi beyond her 21st birthday, 22nd birthday if she was on the 5year college plan. Especially in the dire economic environment we’re in at the moment. More than likely, that man cannot provide any financial supplement to your current situation so you’ll be climbing him like a tree every night and coming back down empty handed. maybe there are some males and females out there who are down with the whole “tasting the milk before you buy the cow” crap, but I’m sorry that just leaves room for you to decide that you don’t want chocolate milk & you’d much rather have vanilla milk. So to cut all of that out, let’s just respect ourselves, accept that we both aren’t without blemish & have had our time to experiment. If we must resort to cold showers and the occasional “don’t touch me there if you know you can’t finish what you’re about to start”, so be it. Let’s choose to focus on finding out if we can actually build a meaningful and lasting relationship. Since neither of us has an American Express Black card we can’t fill all of our time with shopping sprees, we should fin out if we can hold a conversation with each other.
But…if he or she is related or closely connected to Dangote…OMOOOOOOOO!!! All these yarns go out the window. Bwahahahahahaha!!