Okay, this is sort of a rebuttal in regards to the article titled: “Nigerian Women vs African American Women.” Written by “One babe like that…”
I’m not writing to “bash” the writer of the afore mentioned article. In fact, I understand where he/she is coming from. I just believe readers should have the opportunity to see what we (Nigerian women) think as well. Remember, as una get (somewhat valid) opinions about what we are (not) doing, we also have ours.
Disclaimer: Although many people will still ignore this and get mad anyway; I do not mean to indulge in ignorance and generalities. This is all based on my experience and those of too many of us naija chicks who have ” dared to venture” out of our culture. We’re honestly tired of hearing Nigerian men degrade us and not appreciate us, only to be worshiped as Nubian Queens by (responsible) African American men who will do anything to marry us!
As a young Nigerian woman living in America, I’ve had the privileged of meeting people from all over the world (like everyone else here). Most Nigerian women will agree with me that America is where you’ll find some of the worlds most handsome black “gods!” Yeah, I said it!
As you would expect, there is a big difference between the typical Nigerian man and the typical African American man. It may be a good or bad thing depending on the way you choose to look at it. However, in my opinion, they are also very similar in many ways.
Physical Appearance: I must commend my Nigerian brothers, they hold their own. They dress nicely, have good skin, and smell good (some of them). Now, African American men (at least the ones I’ve “known” for years) look “seriously” good, smell really nicely and also dress very well. Rewind! They don’t just look good, I mean, many of them look drop dead gorgeous! Maybe it’s because they do have The (Almighty) exotic look, as mentioned in the first article. Almost everyone in this country has two different races in their blood. Wait a minute! Before you call me “bush igbo giaal!” I’m not talking about light skinned guys here, I’m talking about the dark skinned ones (hey, I love chocolate). Now, if we want to mention the light skinned ones ( for those naija gurls who are into skin tone, like many of our ignorant men) wow, they make u wanna have their baby…just saying! There is a big difference between a typical Kunle, or Okafor vs Tyrone and Maurice or Blair (Underwood).
Body: Ha! This is where it gets brutal. Now, African American men don’t have to have butt or boobs to compete with Nigerian men (as it is the case for women). Actually, they can be more consumed with their looks than Nigerian men. Many of the American men I know make sure they keep themselves well groomed (hair cut nicely, nails and feet not so ugly, lips not chapped, hands not ashy and soft to the touch…you get the picture), which is well appreciated by us women.
Intelligence: Okay, I can already sense the tension here. You’re thinking I will lie right? Wrong! My Nigerian brother will win this one. Okay, okay, you’re smart. In fact The Smartest! I actually think Nigerian men are smarter (overall) than Asians, and any other stereotypically smart ethnic group we know. I mean when you add street smartness, academics and everything else combined, Nigerian men are it! Once again, I’ve met and seen African American men, who are equally smart (President Obama is an example. Whatever you say, he was not raised by his African dad).
Attitude: How will I say this without offending people Ooo… Okay, let’s be real here. We can talk like family, right? While many African American men are constantly in and out of jail for bad decisions (thank God again, them no see me), they don’t seem to be as dramatic over trivial things as some Nigerian men are. I don’t even need to elaborate. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know I’m telling the truth. However, one of the disadvantages of being with an African American man, is that there is a high percentage of them who have baby mama(s) (thank God I never had this experience), some of them are not as ambitious as the Nigerian men we grew up around, and that can be very difficult for someone who grew up with a strong father figure. I have to mention that African American men are DEFINITELY less judgmental than Nigerian men are. Hands down! There is (often) no clear view of a man’s role in a household. The good part of this is that you can be yourself around them (and their family members) all day, and they’ll love you for it. The bad part is, you may end up getting tired of being with someone who will not take a stand as a “man”. Now, once again, there are strong (Alpha Male) African American men out there.
Are African American men more honest than Nigerian men? Hmm, that will be another topic; perhaps a good title for my next article…
At the end of the day, regardless of what generalizations we have, I believe we should all strive to be better people inside and out (no matter how corny that sounds), and treat our fellow Nigerians with R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Thanks for reading.
Photo Credit: http://mpowrplus.com