In this game of relationships and what have you, how honest should you be with your partner?
The other day, the Oga Jaguda himself hopped on Verastic’s radio show and asked why women lie about certain things. One of those things included the number of sexual partners that a woman has been with. According to Mr. Aribaba, if a woman tells you that she has been with 3 men, you should double that figure and assume that she has been with 6 men.
Well…here’s my 2 cents:
I believe that some women lie and modify their numbers because some men can’t handle the truth. If you guys truly were the open minded and non-judgmental creatures that y’all claim to be then I bet more women would be forthcoming about their pasts. I mean, imagine a scenario where you meet a woman who checks off everything on your so-called wifey list, and then the (dreaded?) conversation about past sexual partners comes up, in which she reveals that she’s been with 10 men. Now let’s assume that this woman is 27/28, so if you do the math and assume that she’s been sexually active since the age of 17 (best case scenario: 1 partner per year), why then do some of you men act all shocked? You instantly retreat and tell her that “ah, 10 men…that’s way too much”. In your mind, she’s been tainted…she’s been with too many men and is on that borderline ‘ho-status’. As you think your judgmental thoughts, you conveniently forget that at age 30, you average about 2-3 women/per year so let’s not even think about your numbers. You conveniently forget how you have been ho-ing around the state of Alaska, with different women. It’s a tough world, you say…and the world is filled with double standards so while your ass is clocking 50 in the numbers game, you next a woman who has been with 10 men.
Hey, at least she was honest. So much for honesty, huh…
So, the woman learns her lesson, moves on to the next unsuspecting sucker who swore that he’d never marry a woman who has been with more than X men. So, when the question comes up this time around, she’s wiser and quickly does a few modifications:
That Chinese guy in Alaska – subtract
The African American man in Houston – subtract
Those two Naija guys in London, and California respectively – subtract
Even the Naija guy in her zipcode who is pretty discreet, and doesn’t roll in the circle – subtract
Because, she’s wise and she knows that there’s no way in heck the man she’s seeing will find out. And abeg before you come at me with some nothing is hidden under the sun ish, save that for the next person. Some things stay hidden under the sun. Now don’t judge her now and give her the side eye, thinking that she’s already started off her relationship based on a lie. He and she who is without sin should cast the first stone…
Sometimes a girl has gotta do, what she gotta do.
So, as you can see I’m definitely all for the system of modification if you think that your partner can’t handle the truth. Your sexual history doesn’t always define you. If a woman has been with X men, that doesn’t necessarily make her a ho/hoochie and all the labels that the world will reserve for her. Unfortunately, with a lot of guys it seems that once they hear X number…everything else fades into the background, and it’s a wrap.
So, to answer Mr. AriBaba’s question…that is why some women lie about numbers. I personally don’t get why people even want to know how many men/women you’ve been with in the past. How does that affect the price of crayfish in the market? If you truly can’t handle the real answer, then don’t ask.
In the meantime, I will start claiming -3, for the number of men that I’ve been with. 😉
The usual disclaimers: Reading is FUNdamental for all. If you scroll up, you will note that I said ‘some’, not ‘all’. So ladies and gentlemen, this ish doesn’t apply to everyone. Some women will give you their tried and true digits, because for some…honesty is indeed the best policy.