“Oh I saw this coming, where on earth did I put this bloody condom”
…you know those kinda times you only get to hit once and you are getting all clumsy(especially when she’s one fine ass girl),you try not to let go with one hand while the other is desperately searching for the rubbery “self proclaimed” protector of the dicks(kinda annoying huh….I know!) and just then you remember that you just “might” have a spare somewhere you have to stand up to get to (like the pocket of your suit in the closet or a neighbor’s room…lol), for something you’ve worked so hard to get, seriously what are the odds of getting one of the finest girls in your room, chatting her up, getting to unbutton her shirt, after a few “stop don’t think I wannas” you get to reach her pride (seriously it shouldn’t be called that, who prides herself in that?), after a few fumbling with clean shaven pussy, she nimbles a moan followed by words that sound like “can you just fuck me?” (Actually at first you think she said can you just stop it? then you follow ur animal instinct) and then YOU CANT FIND THE BLOODY CONDOM!!! Let me leave you with these three…em…em…possibilities
1. You quickly dash for the hanger and God willing (more like devil’s willing) you reach for your pocket and just maybe you find it and on heading back she still gives you time to slip on your condom and yet still feels like allowing you claim your prize, then upon the initial disappointment you end up having the best sex you have ever had (cos you tried so hard to make up for lost dignity) and just maybe she enjoyed it so much, you hit it more than once and promise you there is a next time
2. You quickly dash for the hanger and God willing (more like devil’s willing) you reach for your pocket and just maybe you find it and on heading back she still gives you time to slip on your condom and just then you find her all suited up and tells you she wants to leave, you try to convince her and start all over again and nah……then you know you’ve blown it
3,you dash for the hanger and you try hard not to yell but you still manage to let out the word “FUCK”,why?….cos YOU CANT FIND THE BLOODY CONDOM!!! You know when you search desperately for something you probably shouldn’t but just by a stroke of luck you might find it….HEY!!! Snap out of it, just go back to Ur smooching, it’s a fair enough deal
Hey next time you want…..hey need I tell you again? GET THAT FUCKING CONDOM!!!
To my ever faithful fans of memoirs of a lover, wanna wish you the best.
Special “bigups” to Japheth omojuwa (even though I might have to take u down someday),victorhia,tosin ojo,my baby lamide mojisola akinola,my real baby junior ibiotan adetayo,my babymama,my precious José folashade & adedolapo oke…thanks for being there for me……need I mention ABATAN AYODEJI?